What happened doesn't have to define me

[Mia001]

Hi everyone!

I'm new here. Not really sure what to do. Where do I start? Any suggestions?

Mia

[Mia001]

Hi,

Mary - I'm pleased to hear that you've been getting more sleep. 😴 It can make such a difference.

James - The library at Sydney sounds beautiful. 😊

Yeah, I love reading but I haven't done a lot of reading for a long time. 📖 I guess I couldn't find the motivation to do any thing let alone stuff I previously enjoyed. I came across the Divergent series at the library a few weeks ago and I've been reading them. This piqued my interest because I've seen the movies. I'm currently up to the second book, Insurgent. Really enjoying them so far.

Have you read anything good lately?

Mia

[Guest_128]

Hey, that's awesome you can get right into books, I think it's a form of mindfulness.

I have only read a few books,as it just doesn't enter my head and stay there.

Try putting your name at chemists I think it is a wonderful experience and you have a lot of different directions to explore.

Hope you have some good stuff happening for the weekend.

Dory

[Guest_5218]

Hello Mia. I am so very proud of how you are going and how you are handling everything. You remain so positive about life in general, and its so lovely to see. If anyone was born to succeed and achieve .. its you! I love your attitude, you are an inspiration to me, and I expect many others who read your thread.

Good on you for looking at alternative work. The fact that you currently work at the same place as your brother, would no doubt be a constant trigger for you. I wish you every success in finding something that both pays well and which you enjoy. Well done also on taking the initiative to book in for some driving lessons, night time hopefully. Having your licence will open up many more work opportunities for you.

Kindest thoughts to my honorary granddaughter. Hugs sweetie.

Sherie xx

[Mia001]

Hi Dory,

Working a chemist would be cool. It's probably more relaxed than where I currently work too!

I don't really have anything planned for this weekend. I'm currently at the library with my younger brother. I should be back home tonight and we having friends over which will be great! I'll get to see 🐱 Sundara again too. I miss her so much. 😔 I miss my whole family actually. We meet for lunch during the week and I chat with my younger brother using texts, but it's not the same.

I didn't think I would, but I miss home.

Mia

[Mia001]

Hi Sherie,

Thankyou! ☺️ I'm honoured to think that you find me an inspiration. Sometimes I really don't see how. Other times I look back and I'm surprised at how far I've come. I think of life like a journey. There are hills and valleys, straight roads, winding roads and cross roads. But it doesn't matter what obstacles come your way. With every dead end you will find that there's another path. It might take a long time, but eventually you will reach the destination. 🛣

To be honest, I never really get a break from my brother. I spend a lot of my time trying to avoid him, because when we are together we usually end up arguing and it's very stressful. Working with him is very triggering.

Work itself is a problem because there's a lot of pressure on everyone to upsell and keep the drive-thru times low. All of this is of course impossible because the budget doesn't allow for the staff we need. It's hard to keep doing your best when you know you'll fail to meet the targets, no matter how hard you try.

I must be going okay though because I won employee of the month! I get free meals for a month now. 🍔 🍟 🍦

I'm looking forward to telling my counsellor next week about the driving lessons. I have one lesson booked before I see her next. 😊 She also said that she'll help with updating my resume which will be great. Then I can start looking for another job.

Hugs,

Mia

[james1]

Hey Mia,

I've been reading more short stories recently because my attention span is pretty limited nowadays. There's a collection called "What we talked about when we talk about love" by Raymond Carver. It's...I dunno. It's not very happy, lol. But it's very realistic.

I've heard about that series. I read it was kind of based off the hunger games or at least got a lot of inspiration from that? Have you read them?

James

[Mia001]

Hi James,

Yeah, I've read The Hunger Games. The Divergent series is kind of similar; I don't know if it was inspired by The Hunger Games. One thing they both have in common is a great plot with a few twists. I love unexpected endings!

I haven't heard of Raymond Carver. What genre are his books?

Mia

[White_Rose]

Hello Mia

How are you going?

It must be hard to keep your distance from your brother at work. I think starting in another job will be very helpful. And it's also good your counsellor is going to help with your resume. I like Dory's suggestion of giving your resume to a pharmacy. When you do that perhaps you can give copies to other places you feel you would like to work.

Employers usually like having someone they can employ without the trouble of advertising. Even if there is no current vacancy they will keep your details and may invite you for an interview. Make sure you keep your name, address, phone and email address on the top page to make it easy for them to contact you.

I expect your counsellor will be pleased about your driving lessons.Have you driven a car before? My son used to let his children drive around the paddock to get the feel of driving. It's good for their independence and great for parents who do not need to take them everywhere.

You have come a long way from the person who was almost too scared to write on BB. You commented about this a few posts ago. It is worthwhile to look back occasionally and see how far you have come. Everyone who makes another step forward is an inspiration to others. You have come far and will inspire others to work on their difficulties.

And I think you will be surprised at how much you can help others by talking to them about their experiences. I think you already write to some folk here. Have you thought of looking in the Young People forum? You may be surprised by the number of people you can relate to.

Mary

[Mia001]

Hi Mary,

I can honestly say that I'm going pretty well. Since I started seeing this counsellor, things have improved, especially in the last few weeks. I know that I'm not out of the woods yet, but the good days outnumber the bad ones. I actually feel happy quite a bit of the time! 😊

Keeping a distance from my brother is nearly impossible as we all have to work together to keep things running smoothly. Today he was driving me nuts. He seems to love making me look like an idiot in front of everyone and it's so embarrassing!

I'm definitely looking forward to finding another job. Leaving my resume with them is a good idea, because you never know when some work might come up.

I haven't driven much since I left TAFE. The last few months have been very stressful so I didn't really make an effort to start again. Also, I don't enjoy driving but I know I need my P's. Otherwise I can't work in aged care/nursing because the shifts are all at odd hours.

I read my entire thread the other day. It was fascinating to see how much I've changed. I would never have anticipated the chain of events that has lead me to where I am right now.

I guess it had to start with admitting to myself that my brother did sexually abuse me. It wasn't just me getting into trouble as a kid. Before that, I'd pushed it out of my mind every time I thought about it, so I basically forgot about it. I'm not really sure what happened, but there came a point where I couldn't do that anymore. It was stuck in my head, and it was bothering me more and more. Next thing I know, I'm right here today.

My life has changed so fast. Sometimes I miss being young and innocent, before all this started. It was simpler, easier. I see the world we live in now and it makes me sad.

I have been replying to some posts lately, especially newbies. I just can't help it. There are a lot that I don't reply to because I lack experience with some topics like relationships, bipolar, OCD etc,. But when I see someone that I can relate to I just have to say something. I usually just browse through New Threads, but maybe I'll have a look at the Young People section.

How are you going at the moment?

Mia

[White_Rose]

Mia, you are a wonder.

It's terrific that you want, and do, post on other threads. Just doing that can be therapy in itself. Try looking at specific forums such as Young People and Staying Well. I suggest the Suicide and PTSD forums will be a bit heavy for you just yet. The New Threads button is where all the latest posts can be found. Not just newbies. Have a look at the Welcome and Orientation forum. It's reassuring to have several posts when you first post. Even you do not have answers a word of welcome is enough.

I am sad you have been introduced to the seamier side of the world we live in and lost that fresh innocence. It's not all bad. What I was once told, and here I am repeating it to you, was to look for the learning in crappy situations. What can you take away. It's good because it helps you but also because you can pass on what you have learned. Holding hands with someone, metaphorically speaking, is good for both parties.

Any particular reason you don't like driving? I remember having driving lessons and afterwards being shaky and a bit scared. I think it's the realisation that you are in charge of what can appear as a huge monster. Once you become more confident the size of the car is reduced in your mind. That's when you know you can drive even though there is still much to learn. When you are in the driving seat where does your body end? Answer in next post.

I suggest your brother making you look silly is part of his, possibly subconscious, way of dominating you as he did in the past. When you are together try to look him in the eye. Looking away can be interpreted as being afraid, which you are at time, and feeding his desire to hurt you. No matter when or where you come across him stand tall, look him in the eye and speak as calmly as possible and definitely in as few words as possible. Ask your psych about being assertive.

I think you are a great success story.

Mary