What do you fear (today)?

[The_Abyss]

In line with my "when were you last truly happy" post, I wondered about what other people fear?

Is it an "every day fear", or is it a "just today" fear?

Do you fear getting out of bed? Do you fear opening the mail? Do you fear the phone ringing? Do you fear being alone? Do you fear the darkness descending? Do you fear confrontations? Do you fear rejection? Do you fear not feeling anything at all?

I wonder if just voicing that fear, sharing that fear, will help to take away it's power? Or will it give it life?

For me, my big fear at the moment is being found out. Fearing my kids or family will come across my posts. Fear a colleague will recognise my writing style or circumstances. Fear that someone will see through this big brave front I put on to get through the door each day. Fear that someone sees my vulnerability.

[Sharilang13]

I had a vertigo attack on the freeway on Monday and I was terrified. Tuesday just before I was due to leave for work I started to feel weird in the head so I called an uber instead but started crying everytime I talked about what happened on the freeway. I saw the doctor on Wednesday who told me the vertigo sounded like a vertibular migraine and told me I was fine, I took a small drive with family on the freeway and thought I'd overcome my fear. But this morning I drove on the freeway terrified I was going to get dizzy which ended up happening at the end of the freeway and I ended up in a car wash in hysterics.

[Zenobia]

Oh Moonstruck, I never thought I would have that fear but I fear that it will be a fear now.. i think we should just take Croix's advice...

[Moonstruck]

What was Croix' advice? I must have missed it.

[Zenobia]

Hi Moonstruck,

Below are two quotes but there have been so many affirmations from so many posts that promise that I will find it again, and if me, then why not you too?

First let me give you a scrap of hopeful news to help combat the your vision of the future. I met and married my wife, who was a widow, when she was about your age. We have been together 21 years and are still in love. You need not think chances don't exist in the future for you. It could well happen. From Croix.

And from Tony White Knight:

I have had 4 long term relationships all over 7 years duration. Each time I felt I'd never find love like that again.Yes you will find love again. You will succeed.

Zenobia

[Rae76]

Today I fear my husband isn't happy being with me. That he loves me, but doesn't like me...if that makes sense. Like he loves me but the qualities or behaviours or tendencies I have that he doesn't like are getting too much for him. Like I'm holding him back from the life he wants to have. He has been going out with friends / colleagues for drinks and birthday dinners and so on but lies and says he's 'got a late meeting' or 'needs to leave for the conference a day early'. He's always like drinking / pubbing / clubbing and I hate it. Those places trigger social anxiety and general anxiety and the few times in the past we've done I feel like I'm boring and an embarrassment to him. Like he wishes he had a fun and extroverted partner to bring to these kinds of places. I fear he will leave me soon or maybe when the kids are older so he can have a fun life without me holding him back. I found out he's organised to go to a 21st birthday dinner and drinks next Friday night and I know he won't tell me about it and will lie and say it's a work meeting.

[Rhu]

Hi Rae76

That's a lot for you to go through. Going out to parties and social events can be a real pain for us introverts isn't it? Have you ever had a chat to your husband about what you're feeling? Maybe if he knows how you're feeling he'll be more sympathetic and you two could figure a way out eg attend smaller gatherings instead of larger ones or not staying too long.

Sometimes I have similar fears. Today I fear that my introverted and reserved nature will cause me to be alone for the rest of my life and people will forget about me and overlook me in favour of more extroverted, outgoing people.

[Moonstruck]

Today I fear feeling happy. Today I fear making any decisions at all. today I fear myself for my bad choices. Today I fear other people. Today I fear having hope as it is taken away so soon.

Today I fear feeling at peace - because it can so easily be shattered.

Today I fear making progress because I can so easily be pushed backwards, at any time, by anyone or any circumstance.

Today I fear the night and not being able to sleep peacefully.

today I fear the daylight hours and being so visible and able to be spoken to by other people.

Today I fear having to speak with others. Today I fear meeting anyone I know who smiles at me. today I fear joy as it so quickly turns to sorrow.

today I fear loving others as they are so easily lost. today I fear anyone else loving me as I am sure to let them down. Today I fear being at home alone. Today I fear going out among others.

[graysky]

I fear I will be found out, for being anxious, for having Beyond Blue account, for being incompetent.
I also fear there is nothing that can be done about how I am at work and how people at work perceive me.

[Moonstruck]

I fear never feeling happy again.

I fear I am getting fat when the truth is I am practically starving myself.

I fear what people say behind my back.

[Zenobia]

I fear never feeling happy again either.

I fear never finding love, true magical inspiring, mind exploding love again.

I fear my daughter never getting well enough again to find the love I had for 162 days. The love that would make her pain worth it.