This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[asdff]

Yes, I would say Bipolar does affect people differently Quirky. There is also the rapid cycling. Above Lisa or Leisa said it felt like a nonstop roundabout. I do understand the analogy because I find life nauseous and never ending. For me life has always been a roller coaster. Ups and downs. Little did I know that not everyone had such downs as we do. I didn’t get much of the up 😞

[Leisa68]

I am like everyone here and try to keep busy. If it all stops then I find I don't cope too well. I hope you start to feel better soon asdff, like you I think life is neverending. I am feeling a little better, just a little spiral today but I don't feel like the end of the world is coming. The new medication seems to be working. But I am still down, not up.

I think Will Smith's buttons were pushed as well and he just lashed out. I hope he gets to keep his Oscar, I look forward to seeing the film. Today I got the new James Bond movie out of the library, looking forward to seeing that one too. I try to get out when I can and am able, going to different outings helps me, and I am really lucky to have a good psychologist and psychiatrist (when I can get in to see them). Like Airies a bit of luck too. I don't really have family that understands BiPolar, unfortunately. They do not believe that I have BiPolar or that I have mental health issues at all. It's disappointing. But it's great to talk to you guys here.

[Lisa611]

Hey all...I think we all experience bipolar differently. I go through long periods of stability and usually only get sick after a period of high stress that has been ongoing. Usually there is some sort of trigger. I know that when I'm not well I end up in hospital. And usually I'm the last to realise that I'm not well. As I'm getting older I think I'm more prone to illness. I once asked a psych if menopause can effect your mental health and he said yes. Like everyone I just want to be stable and healthy.

[quirkywords]

Leisa

no one in my family understands either. I have had extended family members say I should have outgrown my bipolar by now.

Apart from this thread I know no one who has bipolar.

[asdff]

Quirky, I have an Uncle on the other side of Australia that has bipolar. I only know this through speaking to his daughter. Who said she might have it too. I follow some people on Instagram that have it. I like the positivity quotes or quotes relating to BP, very helpful. This thread is amazing too, we get it. We understand what others are living through on a daily basis. How hard it is to manage.

[white knight]

Hi Quirky

" I should have outgrown my bipolar by now."

that's funny. My response would be "where did you do your research, I want to read that"? And "I'd like to learn how people can out grow paraplegia"

TonyWK

[asdff]

White Knight you are so right. I like the paraplegia analogy.

[quirkywords]

Tony

I said I must be a slow learner,!

The sad fact is people can’t see mental illness so for some it does not exist. They can see

paraplegia . So as they can’t see it, we need to grow up and be an adult!

[Leisa68]

For some reason, I think people are frightened of mental illness and the person who has a mental illness. We can't outgrow bipolar,??? but we can certainly manage it. I hope there are people who understand, but I don't think a lot of people do. There is enough information out there, why don't people understand? My partner was invited by my psychologist to sit down with her, so she could explain bipolar, he refused which is a real shame, it could have made things easier at home. So I have to hide a lot of my symptoms, manage them privately.

No spiraling today (yes!) Inside my head, it's very quiet. Hope you all have a good Friday night. Mine will be with James Bond:)

Leisa

[white knight]

Yeh Quirky. I find that niave people are annoying not for their lack of knowledge but for their unwillingness to learn , just a little about bipolar.

My late brother was type 1 diabetic. He was going to the beach with mates and normally I'd go and know to give him jam or similar if he had a "turn". But not going that day mum asked his mate to do similar. He wouldn't have a bar of the idea of learning the same.

TonyWK