This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[quirkywords]

Wringer,

someone gave me her phone number as we volunteer together so I wrote it in 3 places and promptly forgot where I wrote it.

Velvet it is interesting how dome people react when a person tells the truth.

Aries

Some people try to understand us but if their mind set is rigid they won’t be able to

[Leisa68]

Hello,

I have to write everything down! My notebook for uni often has all these numbers scrawled across it, with me attempting to figure out who's what. I have started uni again today actually and am panicking after reading all the assignments. My partner says I've done it all before, don't worry about it, but what if I cannot do it? I do this every time I read the unit outline of the course.

I totally understand the washing machine's take on this mental illness. I feel that way also like I'm in dry cleaners. Except when I'm unloaded I fall out everywhere. Today was a bit of a busy day at home with uni and some general emails hoping you all had a lovely valentine's day.

Leisa

[Airies]

It’s amassing or maybe it’s not the number of celebrities that are bipolar. Kim Novak a Star from yesteryear is bipolar and is proud of it. I know there’s others.

I’m pooped. It’s taken me a couple of days to recover from family event on the weekend. I’m tired doing very little.

[quirkywords]

Patty duke wrote the first book on manic depression I wrote.

For younger readers Patty duke was a child star who played Helen Keller in the miracle worker film. She was acting most of her life. She was one of first film stars who told everyone about manic depression back in 1987.
Carrie Fisher wrote and spoke about bipolar.

[velvetfaerie]

Carrie Fisher was awesome.

Didn't sleep much. Bit tired. Found out the ex thing is already trawling for women. The thing I'm annoyed at is him having a sad when I tried to discuss the moving on subject so we both were ready if we crossed paths. He needs to be validated it seems. Well shows how weak he is.

I'm not close to ready. I'm enjoying being me. Focussing on me. Bettering me. Absolutely slamming it with strength training at the gym.

I'm always glad when people are candid about things. Mental health especially. Awareness and conversation helps to reduce stigma.

[quirkywords]

Velvet

I am glad you are bettering yourself and focusing on yourself and tsk8 g time process everything.

Strength training sounds very helpful.

[asdff]

Velvet, thanks for the visual fro trawling. I am thinking of throwing out a fishing net. I am over this heat. When do we get a reprieve?

[wringer]

Hello group, We have rain here today, I tell you the weather has gone bonkers. Yesterday we had our booster shots and today we are behaving a bit weird. Me I keep getting icy chills and my husband has suddenly become forgetful, which is usually my thing.

It was a nice catch up. Bye

[Leisa68]

Hi all,

Carrie Fisher was awesome wasn't she? I did not know that Kim Novak was Bipolar. These days it's Kayne West who is unwell with Bipolar, and I don't see him coming out and talking to the world about how he copes. Not that I could understand him anyway, I don't understand rapping at all. Mariah Carey was diagnosed with Bipolar in 2001 and the actor Richard Dreyfuss appeared in a documentary about his Bipolar Disorder. I might look for that, I liked him as an actor.

So, so tired lately. Nanna naps galore. It's tiring appearing normal when everything inside is just crazy. Watching a TV show with Kitty Flannigan from the library which is quite good! Have done my study for the week today, quite happy about that. Wringer, my booster shot just hurt and my arm was sore for a few days! What did they give you?

Leisa

[quirkywords]

Carrie wrote a book called the best awful about mania.

She had a one woman show called Wishful Drinking.

She said she never got an award for her acting but was named bipolar woman of the year.

she joked you wouldn’t want to come second!