This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[velvetfaerie]

Had to pass on some info to ex thing. He had a sook about the other guy on site just arranging a room swap to suit himself. Many months ago another guy changed the flights to also suit himself.

I laughed. Called him a self serving hypocrite. "So that's unacceptable yet the way you treated me was? AHHAHAHA."

Ah funny. I told him I'm much happier too. It's true. I do have moments of sadness, that's normal. But I feel much more myself now.

[quirkywords]

Velvet
Funny how some people will reply “that was different “when they complain about being treated the way they treat others.

Iam glad you are much happier and can be yourself more.

Your boss does sound like an understanding boss.

Aries decades ago Bill Collins taught media studies at teachers college.

My mum loved watching Bill present old movies. I liked his enthusiasm and telling you to watch for one small scene involved a now well known actor in their first film,!
Blink and you miss it.

Big hello to everyone.

[asdff]

Airies again, your posts have me thinking how alike we are. This morning I was thinking my brain is like a washing machine. When things get added to my life my brain become off balance like a washing machine would.

Quirky, I have been doing some work. Very unplanned and very adhoc. I just get in and do it. It’s good for my confidence and I like the pocket money. It does upset my family life though and my moods. It will be done later in the week.

[asdff]

Sorry Airies, I got off track and I easily do. I meant to say we are alike as in we have mood shifts throughout the day. I find doing too much a BIG drain. I have to schedule rest days and rest hours where possible. At the moment that has been hard. It also brings out the anger and snappiness. Other people don’t understand that we have things going on in our brains, it leads to a drain in mood and energy. Equals is coming across as angry. I liken it to have a computer running in the background, so we have something running in our brain at all times. Add the demand ms of family, society etc and we crash.

[quirkywords]

Asdff

I have always said my brain is like all the clothes in the washing machine than get tangled and agitated going round and round.
My moods can fluctuate too.

[asdff]

Quirky, it must be a bipolar thing. I’m glad we understand each other in here. In the outside world people would look at me funny, if I said that. Probably two or three friends would give me sympathy but not get it. In here, you lot get it.

[quirkywords]

I feel tHe internet and beyond blue has made this forum available so we don’t feel so alone. We have a place where we can meet people who understand us even though they maybe different in someways. We all listen and care for each other.

Thanks everyone who reads and or posts. Every post helps someone.

Everytime we share an experience honestly we help others not feel so alone.

[wringer]

Hello group, just checking in on Valentines day it is another hot one here, that' is the outdoor temperature!

I get a lot of moodiness during my waking hours mostly because I am in the habit of dwelling on stuff that is beyond my jurisdiction.

Met a new neighbour today he seems ok, then I quickly wrote his name on the fridge so I will not forget. Sending well wishes to all. Bye

[Airies]

Asdff, like 2 peas in a pod. A big day yesterday, socially at home with people, drank another more then I usually do resulting in headache and a few extra prescribed meds. Today upon wakening told by others you look tired, a bit bombed out, so today so far I’ve done the bare minimum,not even my normal daily walk.

Asdff, you capture it so well, as others do, we are so alike and others find it hard to understand

[velvetfaerie]

It's gross here. Hot and humid.

This Valentines day I've been learning about some outspoken women who have caused divide in society. It really seems that the patriarchal system we still have loathes and detests authenticity. Can't control people when they're their authentic selves, can you?

I've walked the dog. Had a beer. Had a yummy snack. Stayed cool. Nothing profound here.

❤