This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[velvetfaerie]

The mind games for years have done a number on me thats for sure. Discovered a hateful Spotify playlist his child created directed it at him.

I can't believe he's not been having affairs too. I don't have evidence, only the lengths he's gone to hide other sexual addictions and his pathological lying.

Really makes you feel inadequate 😕

[asdff]

I went on the scales today for the first time in around five years. I was mortified, ashamed. We are overhauling our diet. I have been this weight when I first met my husband. I do double the exercise now. I am cutting down on my weightlifting and upping the cardio. My arms are muscular and so are my legs. I’m used to my legs being a bit bigger. My arms I prefer skinny.

[asdff]

Leisa Healthdirect or a Covid Hotline would be up your alley.

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone.,

Aries if you played my record it would be out of tune as I have been told I am tone deaf!,

Velvet do you wonder what more you will discover about him ?

I am sorry you feel inadequate when he is the one who was lying and playing games .
Asdff I hid my scales last time they were tricking me.

Leisa I am still impressed at your double degree . Thanks

Godless I imagine you doing loss the doing a magnificent dive from the highest platform.

Lisa , how are the plans for the wedding going.?

[godless]

Q' we have a lovely sea water pool here and everyone is welcome, covid rules apply even to world class athletes!

V' that mans poor behavior has no bearing on you, You Are Enough!

BBQ tonight I am so confused as to which sarong is large enough to proper tuck me in. My hand tremors and weight gain are plain to see but this bipolar can not ruin me.*

[Leisa68]

Hi all,

Oh godless, I know about the tremor, it's so hard to do anything with it! Rotten thing. However, the meds do help. I will look into those phone lines prior to the end of the year, may get a senior post due to degrees. I am looking forward to the graduation side, I've been through one, it's an amazing feeling. You can't stop smiling and the university shouts you a glass of champagne. And you get to keep the silly hat.

It's humid up here, the kids have all been given two more weeks extra holiday (thanks for that, I was counting down), my little guy is not bored, thanks to Fortnite, but I feel better when he is at school, learning all sorts of things. Today I watched a little too much Foxtel, I hate it when I do that, it's like drinking to me, it's great when you do it, and later you feel bad about it.

My goodness Velvet you are strong. I hope you stay that way. You are all strong.

Leisa

[quirkywords]

Godless and Leisa , Aries, Velvet and Lisa ,Asdff

My tremor is slight but combined with my natural clumsiness I tend to drop and break things so muich so I have decided to only have plastic cups as I have broken too many glasses.

I cant thread a needle or hold hot drinks.

Leisa I have been been watching a lot of docos this week and movies as I feels so tired and am tryimg to recharge my batteries.

Everyone here reading or posting you are honest and coping as well as you can.

[velvetfaerie]

Let's just say he has underestimated my intelligence.

His ex is innocent.

He was the person who manipulated her!!!!

And his whole family.

[velvetfaerie]

I want to share so much but I can't guarantee he's not reading this.

he's sick in the head.

[Airies]

My tremor at times can be quite intense. Is it the meds? or when we are tense , under preasure? I know I should consume more water and then some because of the meds but I’m slack. I do the right thing in many regards to so many things and then it falls by the wayside.

I should jump on the scales but I won’t. I walk most days but undo it with poor dietary choices.I’ve been meaning to get back on the bike. Sometimes it’s just a matter of doing( he say:).