This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[asdff]

Airies we are similar. Do you buy out of comfort range? I.e. overspend or get into money troubles. I do not but I do buy lots of little things that I wonder why did I buy that? Lucky it’s nearly Christmas and A few of those unused items have come in handy. Teachers gifts, extended family member gifts.

Velvet you are so self aware. I like that you are setting boundaries. They are healthy.

[quirkywords]

Hello velvet, Asdff and Aries,

Velvet since it is your place can’t you get to move say one box a week.
Asdff glad you can use purchases for gifts.

Aries I hope your items sell quickly.

[velvetfaerie]

People don't like boundaries.

I wish it was just me and the mutt this Christmas too. Sadly I'll be driving in 40+ degree heat.... with a catastrophic health thing due as well. 😕

I have been considering recycling gifts etc but I never buy anything for myself.

[Airies]

Asdff, as we speak I’ve a number of people about to pounce on an item I’ve listed. Will you the cash to spend on my latest hobby.

My wife keeps me in check as I’m always after something. I do regret selling some expensive gear when I was really unwell but that’s just the way it is.

im forever trolling on Ebay looking at stuff,reviews .

V, don’t envy you driving in that heat. Stay hydrated , along with the pooch. It’s going to be 21 degrees here.A smallish Xmas function to attend which is more then enough. We are having a small family function in a few days at short notice. We were supposed to go elsewhere but due to vaccination concerns it isn’t happening. I do get thrown out and stressed by things like that.

[quirkywords]

Airies

I don’t like waking up to find that something I planned to do has been changed.
There has been so much change in last few years that it is hard to embrace more.

Velvet is it humid heat or dry heat?

[velvetfaerie]

Small functions are usually the best. Doing what's best for you is also best.

Today it's humid. 30 ish degrees and humid. The forecast in my suburb area from Friday is over 40 degrees until at least Monday. Dry heat. There will be rolling blackouts for sure. The generator is being prepared Friday while its only 38 degrees.

I'm hoping that they're overstretched the temperatures and its going to be under 40!!!!

Last official work day of the year today. I got and gave no gifts hahaha. However, the big boss handed me a huge box addressed to me. I'm like eh? Yeh a lab I collaborate with in another state sent me a giant hamper. Would've cost a fair bit.

So I shared it with relevant colleagues. It isn't just me that got things happening. Teamwork. Have to lead by example right???

[Airies]

V, how nice to be appreciated by others. If only your peers could take a leaf out of lab you collaborate withs book and appreciate you on so many levels.You’re worthy of a giant hamper and then some.

it’s indicative of you as a person that you shared it with relevant colleagues. I hope you survive the heat and find the time to have a rare spoil and buy something for yourself

[quirkywords]

Velvet

I agree with what Aries said. I sm grab people showed you you are appreciated.

I find it hard not to worry about the highest numbers ever in my state.

[quirkywords]

I am sacking my proofreader again.

2nd sentence if my previous post should read.

I am glad lab people showed you that you are appreciated.

[velvetfaerie]

I didn't want to lower myself to their levels and show them that I'm not like them. It worked.

Hahahahah proofreader.... we all muck up with the typing at times. I've seen some rippers in work emails lol!!!