This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[quirkywords]

I am w9nder8 g is the person I. Your life that inspired or helped you when you were struggling with the idea of having mental health issues.

[velvetfaerie]

Good question Quirky. There are 2 friends. One from highschool, we've grown apart now but not due to anything bad, just life, and one friend I have had for just over a decade. Man thing has also been pretty good I have to admit.

There is a small handful of good gym people too.

These people have both helped and inspired.

[quirkywords]

Thanks Velvet

I am glad you have these people.

I have one friend I knew at school but only reconnected after the fires when she has kept in touch and been supportive. She is a doctor who has experience with mental health but mostly she just was there .

Most people I know in offline life are well meaning but don’t really understand. I don’t know anyone with bipolar offline.

[velvetfaerie]

Sounds like a decent friend with an ability to empathise Quriky.

I find many people hear bipolar, anxiety, adhd, autism, schizophrenia etc... and make a huge judgement without listening or researching things themselves from reputable sources.

If anyone I know actually listens and chats and indeed does their own reading, they're top of the charts. It means they want to try and understand.

[quirkywords]

Velvet
I think I have mentioned before that people feel they are an expert as they read one article on face book or watched a movie or tv show.

I agree those who really listen and chat and get to know you are real gems.

[velvetfaerie]

True. You have definitely said that. Most people don't have any real initiative though unless it directly affects them. Said that to a manager on Friday. It illustrates the insular nature of 99% of people.

Is anyone here a hoarder? Sincere question and I'm wondering as I'm seeking to educate myself. I hope my question doesn't offended anyone.

V.

[quirkywords]

My children told me once I was a couple of boxes away from them sending in an audition video to the Hoarders program.
I admit that when I had the shop it gave me permission to buy stock and I think I over did this so much I had boxes over flowing. For years no one was allowed upstairs, the shop was downstairs I lived upstairs. When my partner moved in , he rearranged and tidied so I could have people upstairs. The trouble was I could not find anything.

i know I have hoarding tendencies but since the fires I think they are under control.

For me I am. Very disorganised and maybe bought things from op shops because I felt I needed them as always had plans. Also I felt op shops were cheap and recycling.
i feel I wasn’t as bad S people on hoarders program but lots worse than anyone I knew.

[asdff]

Hello all, Dropping like I do. Quirky the news upsets me. I do like a good news story and I find them on Instagram. Even in real life, things greatly upset me. So I avoid them.It’s not the best strategy but at times I avoid upsetting situations as a self preservation method. As for hoarding; I am the opposite. Due to seeing my grandmother and mother with hoarding tendencies. My little family have said ask before you give that away to charity? okay. For me it’s a sign of control. I give things away when I feel my life is out of control.

[velvetfaerie]

Thanks for your input guys.

I ask because my house and huge shed is still choc full of man things stuff. He hoards. He won't reduce. He keeps buying things and things and things. Rarely anything useful.

Meanwhile I can't utilise or paint or fix the flooring due to lack of shuffle space. I also don't have time to be fair because or everything else.

I'm sick and tired of accommodating others when no one gives back. I've addressed and started to address things with me that are just not working. It's hard to know when i have got there. I'm learning not to break myself. That's hard. Others haven't done anything at all.

It's always up to me. Well no. Not anymore. Even the lost of requirements for Christmas won't be met because I fail to see why I need to break myself when others refuse to plan ahead.

One more week. Oh the weather is going to be hot hot hot over here! GAh!!

Thinking of all the parents with the school holidays going on.

Lisa- thinking of you and the pending family wedding!!!!

The world's gone topsy turvy Again!!!

[Airies]

I’m not a hoarder but if I’m into something I’m looking online, buying things and totally over the top with it then eventually moving onto something else shortly or after a number of years.

Overnight I’ve listed my spin bike, and a few other bits and pieces , placed a gym bench on the nature strip as they are hardly used, I’m bored with the indoor stuff. My wife pulls her hair out at times with my moments haha. Still adjusting to her returning to work and sons off to the big city in the New Year.

It will be me and my dog.Thankgod for pets.I’m bored, a bit manic come to think of it been like it for ages and gritting from one thing to another and I forgot to mention eating. I m neither full or happy hungry