This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[MallowPuff]

Hi all,

Lots of lovely new faces, welcome all.

Congrats on the great news Kaz.... glad you persisted and I'm excited and a little jealous of your new adventure!

As for me, I'm flat.... no running, holidays over, back to work, plenty of anxiety, much more healing of my marriage to be done.... I am enjoying reading though, an unquiet mind is great but a little hard work, some really scary moments in there, and for me parts that I could either identify with, or parts that highlight how it could get worse..

oh and my best mates surgery went okay. Don't know if it has been a success, or just bought him some more time, but he woke up from the surgery and seems okay..

so some good news amongst the flatness......

[Lady_Stardust]

Kazzl things are a little better at home today. (:

Good luck with your new job! You're gonna smash it, no worries. Try some deep breathing before you go in for your first day: try putting your hand on your stomach as you breathe. If you can feel your stomach moving, you're not breathing correctly. You want your chest to be the thing moving when you breathe, because those are diaphragm breaths and those are the best kind!

MallowPuff ​sorry to hear you're not feeling so awesome today. Reading is a great activity, but make sure what you're reading doesn't stress you out too much. So good about your friend feeling okay. (:

[Guest_322]

Hi everyone,

Virtual lolly bags- as per Kaz's request- from my Sunday party for all!

🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬

Kaz, aw thanks for the kind and reassuring post. I just feel like I have to make the same "public announcement" every time I see a new name on this thread ha, ha.

That's a good comparison and I understand what you're saying. Speaking of which, I am also a straight supporter of the LBGTI community too 😊

The party was great! It helped take my mind off some personal stuff, which was a plus. There was (loud) music and dancing so can't complain ha, ha.

I second Lady Stardust on the "you're gonna smash it" sentiment re: new job! Yaaaaaaas! Hopefully your head hamster settles a bit in a good time though.

Lady Stardust, you're most welcome 😊

I'm glad to hear it's a tad less tense today at home. Yesterday sounds like it was a rough day- I hope getting out of the house helped give you some breathing space from the tension.

I'm with you on music btw! It's actually how I found myself on this thread (I wanted to joint Kaz's virtual band ha, ha).

Ivan, even your post sounded relaxed- I think that the country holiday was good for you! Ah yes, exercise helps a lot of people channel some difficult emotions outwards. Awesome outlet.

Velvetfaerie (another great name!), welcome!!!

It's great that you have exercise as an outlet to help manage your MH. You're in good company here- quite a few of the others here (like Ivan and Igbran) also feel the same way about exercise.

Igbran, wow, thank you. I don't know what to say. And rest assured, I'm not offended 😊 The party was a lot of fun! It was nice to be out with friends and just let loose for a bit.

Mallow, you do sound very overwhelmed and drained at the moment. I'm relieved to hear that your best mate's surgery went smoothly. It must be hard not knowing what the future holds for him.

I was thinking maybe you could put An Unquiet Break aside for now? Maybe find something lighter to read? I mean, you can alway go back and finish it when things aren't so rough.

Matt and Resilience, hi to both of you. Hope you're both doing okay today.

Dottie x

[Guest_322]

Hi everyone,

Virtual lolly bags- as per Kaz's request- from my Sunday party for all!🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬

Kaz, aw thanks for the kind and reassuring post. I just feel like I have to make the same "public announcement" every time I see a new name on this thread ha, ha.

That's a good comparison and I understand what you're saying. Speaking of which, I am also a straight supporter of the LBGTI community too 😊

The party was great! It helped take my mind off some personal stuff, which was a plus. There was (loud) music and dancing so can't complain ha, ha.

I second Lady Stardust on the "you're gonna smash it" sentiment re: new job! Yaaaaaaas! Hopefully your head hamster settles a bit in a good time though.

Lady Stardust, you're most welcome 😊

I'm glad to hear it's a tad less tense today at home. Yesterday sounds like it was a rough day- I hope getting out of the house helped give you some breathing space from the tension.

I'm with you on music btw! It's actually how I found myself on this thread (I wanted to joint Kaz's virtual band ha, ha).

Ivan, even your post sounded relaxed- I think that the country holiday was good for you!

Ah yes, exercise helps a lot of people channel some difficult emotions outwards. Awesome outlet.

Velverfaerie, (another great name!), welcome!!!

It's great that you have exercise as an outlet to help manage your MH. You're in good company here- quite a few of the others here (like Ivan and Igbran) also feel the same way about exercise.

Igbran, wow, thank you. I don't know what to say. And rest assured, I'm not offended 😊 The party was a lot of fun! It was nice to be out with friends and just let loose for a bit.

Mallow, you do sound very overwhelmed and drained at the moment. I'm relieved to hear that your best mate's surgery went smoothly. It must be hard not knowing what the future holds for him.

I was thinking maybe you could put An Unquiet Break aside for now? Maybe find something lighter to read? I mean, you can alway go back and finish it when things aren't so rough.

Matt and Resilience, hi to both of you. Hope you're both doing okay today.

Dottie x

[Guest_322]

Oops...apologies for the double posting.

Dottie x

[Kazzl]

Morning all

No worries about the double post Dottie, it just makes it twice as good!

Mallow mate - the one good thing we know about these periods of flatness is that they will pass. Hope yours does soon my friend.

Have to say I'm tickled pink about our lovely place here. Thank you to everyone for being here and helping us all know we're not alone with this thing. I learn so much from others here and enjoy your friendship more than I can say.

Love to all, hope today is good to you.

Kaz

[velvetfaerie]

Thanks Dottie xx

Yay back to full on stuff today. Study, plus work, plus exercise stuff, plus my relationship (they are such hard work....)..

adulting .... ***humph***

[Guest_322]

Hi everyone,

Kaz, yes this thread is bursting at the seams with awesome vibes!

Velvetfaerie, adulting sounds like an effort and a 1/2! I'm with you that it can be a pain in the ____

What are you studying btw? Captain Nosy here is also studying, well, technically I'm on uni holidays at the moment...

Dottie x

[velvetfaerie]

I'm getting qualified to do the job I do already as work is being supportive.

lab tech basically.

And yourself ?

[Guest_322]

Hi Chae (Velvetfaerie),

Oh that's pretty neat. Your job sounds either very tech-y or science-y (maybe even both).

I'm studying Commerce/Psych and this year will be the halfway point of my degree.

Dottie x