This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[Ivan0491]

Hi all

How is everyone doing?

I've just got back from a couple of nights stay at a resort in the country and feel nice and relaxed. Now it is back to the gym for a small session to get the body right for tomorrows PT session

Igbran I did 7 months of DBT and found it to be extremely helpful. During that time I read a book by Dan Millman titled Way of the peaceful warrior found that to be very helpful too.

Kaz congrats on your big news. As for sleep it is up and down depending on cycle I guess I average 4-5 hours but in real bad times it can be as little as 2, then one day I will crash and sleep for 12 hours straight. As for mindfulness some days I struggle to get into the zone. I found that starting off small and building up time was the way to go. Being in the moment is key to my survival through the bad times.

all the best

Ivan

[Kazzl]

Morning all - happy Monday! Well, I hope so anyways.

Resilience - what a most fantastic song!! I recommend everyone listen (see Resilience's post above) it's excellent. 'I've gotten better, at getting better'. Yes indeedy!

Lady Stardust - hope you're feeling better today hun. And good luck with the huntin'.

How was the party Dottie? Did you bring us back some lolly bags? 😊

Hiya Ivan - country resort! That sounds like my kinda thing, how lovely. Enjoy the gym.

Len buddy - did you watch the tennis? What a match! I was happy Federer won, but either deserved it really.

How was the weekend Mallow? Hope things are a bit easier at work now you've got through your audit.

Hiya too to Matt, Tony, velvetfaerie and anyone else looking in. I hope you all have a good day today, and know that we're here if you want to pop in.

A quiet day keeping cool at my place today - 39 degrees expected. Must give my garden a good drink before the real heat sets in. All my little plants are growing well, pretty as a picture. Now that makes me happy.

Love to all

Kaz

[velvetfaerie]

Hi everyone,

Monday hugs to all !

I have been reading all these posts. You are all an inspiration to me 🙂

I don't have much to say at the moment as my head is in amongst my work stuff...... so many tabs open 🙂

I can say this = smashing myself with exercise the last few days has got my head on track again.... for now....

[Airies]

.Happy Monday folks,

resilience I love my music either working out , doing housework or loud in the car with the sunroof off. Must be a frustrated drummer as I'm always finger tapping

lady _stardust all the best with your job hunting. My job these days is gardening, housework, excercise and start the New Year with DBT.

Dottie​ how did you pull up after the party?So glad you,post here, you have amaysing insight for someone so young, a wise head upon your shoulders and the exilerance of youth- hope I don't offend you .

Na Kaz didn't watch the tennis completely , flicking between the Tennis, Im a celebrity and I think Master Chef and Marriage shows start tonight., so will tape some and my wife will have to prioritise lol. I'm usually done and dusted by 9ish anyway.

Mallow how's the excercise going? Take it easy in the heat. My stomache is sore from too many stomache crunches that will teach me.

Ivan country resort sounds idyllic, what part of the country did you visit? Sounds like you on the right track and reading the conditions in regards to bipolar.Gym is good. Have a few weights, spin bike, bench press, and a concept 2 rower updtairs. I need excercise to take the edge off.

Hii 1113 good you see your body as a temple. When younger I was ok with mine, but now I see lots of faults. It wasn't so long ago that I couldn't even look in the mirror but I was pretty sick then. I've only got about 7 kgs more to loose and I've given myself the rest of the year to do it.

Hi to all others as well. I find an iPad not the most user friendly thing to type on. I just discovered the B button

Kazz,

hopefully Paul finds this DBT is Dialectical Behavioural Theraphy group for participants with Borderline Personality Disorder, self harming behaviours and or /long term trauma issues. Also develops emotional regulation and distress tolerance skills. Individual sessions to support skill development also provided.usually runs for a year spread over 3 core modules, option of repeating it and graduate program.

Have just finished Emotional Regulation module in Dec 2016, begin Interpersonal Effectiveness in a few weeks and final module is Distress Tolerance. It does my head in at times, I feel so dumb but I'm not. It was developed by an American Marshha M​. Lineham who if you google and YouTube will explain the ins and outs of the course and her own personal battle. I'm finding it very beneficial, attended all sessions and 1 on 1 weekly sessions with clinician helped 🙂

[Airies]

Oops ran out of room . I ramble abit at times.

velvet faerie

excercise has always been my positive addiction. I need it even more so now.ive got it in my head that I need 1.5 hours per day minimum. I either cycle, walk the dog,row and sometimes a combination of a few of them..

When I was younger I ran a few marathons, now I can't run, dicky knees and hip resurface,

until I was ill I would cycle 100-250 ks a week. I didn't cycle or excercise for over a year, I've clawed my way of the couch , now walk 10ks, cycle 38 ks 2-3 times a week and row 10 ks with some light weight training and a restricted diet. That's my warped view on Moderation these days. I think I will go a bit stir crazy come Winter but have no excuses,

hope work flies my friend

cheers Len

[velvetfaerie]

Hello Igbran,

You made me smile and made me feel not alone. I read that and smiled so much as there are people out there who get it!!!

I am not on meds. I refuse as my only foray into psychiatry and meds was not fun. It is a good clean diet and exercise these days. It is also my healthy addiction. I gave the rest up a few years ago.

I keep in touch with my GP who is GRAND.... but i should go back to seeing a clinical psych. Once i can fit it into my exercise regime 🙂

I self regulate but at times my brain runs away with thoughts and i have to reign it in with exercise.

Get cranky = walk for 2 hours or cycle for 2 hours.

Feel sad = do 2 classes back to back at the gym.

Chae.

(Yes that's my human name) 🙂

[Lady_Stardust]

Resillence I'm sorry, I didn't see your post! I'm guessing so, yeah, that makes sense. Very clever that someone realised that there was a connection that meant both could be treated by the same medication. It is needlessly expensive! How is it treating you?

Kazzl & Igbran thank you! Sounds like you're really busy with all that housework/gardening/exercise. Best to keep busy, I find. (:

How does everybody do? I'm okay today. I'm feeling a lot better (though still a bit of dizziness when I move too fast). Emotionally, I woke up not feeling very good. The atmosphere in the house hasn't been very pleasant with some tension between my parents, but I'm sure that'll pass. I went out just to get out of the house and feel a little less low. I can feel that going either way for the remainder of the day/night, though. 😞 ​

[Ivan0491]

Hi Igbran

I stayed just outside Creswick ,VIC at the RACV goldfields resort. Today had a heavy weight session at the gym always feel alive after throwing the weights around. Exercise is my major outlet.

Regards

Ivan

[Kazzl]

Morning all

Len - thanks for the info on DBT. I'm glad it's going well for you.

Lady Stardust - hope all is well at home. It's always unsettling when there's tension in the house, and I think we can be very sensitive to it.

Wow Chae, you have great self-care happening hun. Wish I could do that.

So, I start my new job next Monday and I'm getting quite scared and anxious. Part of me knows I'll be fine and part of me is going aaarrrrrgggghhhh! My head hamster is running his little legs off. Nothing to do but do it I guess. Gonna be a long week.

Cheers all, hope you have a good day today.

Kaz

xx

[velvetfaerie]

Sometimes i fall off the self care wagon though 🙂

Head hamsters - i can send my brain weasel over ?

C.