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This bipolar life
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Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.
Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.
Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.
Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.
Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope
Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.
Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.
I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!
Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.
So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.
I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!
Love
Kaz
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Hey Kaz!
You sing???
I love it.
What styles and genre are you into singing?
Thats so cool.
I love to sing.
I'm more a soul and rhythm and blues singer.
Though, back when I worked as a performing artist, we did more cabaret style singing.
I'm down to start a BB Band!.
Cool stuff...
I can also work the percussion instruments, and some tenor sax as well.
By the sounds, you're quite the muso...
Please tell me more!
I like it...I like it a lot!.
MuchLove
Kaitoa
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Hiya Kaitoa - I am an ageing wannabe rock chick my friend. Rock classics from the 70s and 80s, though I also love soul and R&B 60s style. But basically I like anything as long as it's not crap.
I used to play and sing a lot at uni (ummm, 30 years ago) with assorted friends in bands etc, but grown up life with kids and work etc put an end to that. These days I mainly do a lot of caraoke (singing in the car). My current car obsessions are the original version of Drift Away (can't remember the artist), a few Jimmy Barnes songs from his latest album, and couple of Tom Petty songs (Won't Back Down is my signature tune). My proper karaoke party piece is Born to be Wild haha.
Until recently I sang in a blues and gospel choir (I'm a tenor) but I gave that up because I hated the repertoire (not much blues, lots of Jesus) and the choirmaster was a bit bossy.
I'm not much of a muso as far as instruments go, I tend to get passionate then lose interest (that's a bipolar thing, so I've learned). I just entertain myself these days.
A BB band sounds like a fine idea, even if it's just virtual (actually that's probably better haha). I love that you can do percussion Kaitoa, and sax! Baker Street it is then!
Len and Mallow - what should we play? What do you like?
Hope everyone has a good day today.
Cheers
Kaz
xxx
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Morning Kaz,
Oh man, you crack me up.
I've told you before but I just love your sense of humour!
That's a great signature tune, as well!.
"Drift Away" - Dobie Gray! I love that song.
I always sing Robbie Williams song, "Let Me Entertain You", as my karaoke opening song.
Big song and it warms my vocals up.
I reckon we have the makings of a fine band, with everyone's collective talents!
Will wait to see what the rest of 'the band' have to say!.
MuchLove
Kaitoa
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Hi Kazz, ms purple,mallow and Source shield,
what a bunch of talented folk we are. Once there was BB King and now there's the BP's . I dabbled with clarinet in year 7. There wasn't much to choose from lol. Hey Kazz if you get a chance there's a great Tom Petty documentary on Net Flix , well worth watching and apart from the great music , he was a man of his principles. Great admiration for him and learnt so much. Mad Beatles fan here, love the Eagles, Fleetwood Mac and just about anything else. Having 2 older sisters I was exposed to a wide array of music. One was a mad Bay City Rollers fan, but we won't go there lol.
when I'm being the domestic God nothing better then putting on YouTube hits from yesteryear. Apart from the bloody ad breaks I can turn it right up,sing along as I tear around. Mix it up a bit , last week Linda Ronstad kept me entertained for a few hours.
ive had some very early nights this week. 3 and 4 o'clock I've popped my pills and hit the sack. 15 hours of sleep. Just bunkering down when need be.
Yesterday walked for a few hours with my pooch, cycled for a hour and a half and gardened a wee bit. Overdid it, but an easier day today. Hard to believe Xmas around the corner. It's getting very busy,
keep on practicing folks together we can make some beautiful music together
cheers Len
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Hiya Len - you are a man of good taste I see. I like all those bands too - and not BCR, blerghh. When I was in high school it was compulsory to like either BCR or ABBA. I was ABBA. You also had to choose between Sherbet and Skyhooks. (I was Skyhooks, of course.) Guess it was our country town, hat-and-blazer-convent-school version of gangs haha.
I don't have Netflix unfortunately. I'd like to see the Tom Petty doco. Looove him. Really like the song he did with Stevie Nicks (Stop draggin' my heart around). Hey! A duet! Do you sing Len?
I overdid it yesterday too my friend. Think I've mentioned how much I love the sun on my skin? Yes, well, too much of a good thing yesterday. Not real well last night. Long sleeves, big hat and shade today.
Have a good day today mate. Blow that blues harp baby!
Cheers
Kaz
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Dobie Gray! Of course! Thanks Kaitoa
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That's all g!
I'm listening to that song atm, actually.
I was brought up on Roy Orbison from my grandad.
Patsy Cline from my Nan.
Bob Marley from the uncles, and disco from the aunties.
We all lived in the family home together.
It's amazing how music takes you right back....
So it sounds like we already have our first song to jam?
You and Igbran doing "Stop draggin my heart around".
Great song choice.
Do you think I could add a sax solo in there?
Just to mix it all up, bring something new to it...
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Hiya Kaitoa - yep, I reckon we could have a sax solo in that song. No worries. Say, can I join you in Let Me Entertain You? Love that song! 'Gotta get high before you taste the lows', ooohh, been there, done that. 😄
Sounds like you had a good musical upbringing. Love Roy Orbison, I mean, how could you not?
How's everyone today? More glorious weather here. Hope it's good in your part of the world.
Cheers all
Kaz
xxx
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Hey Kaz!
Awesome - I'll get me sax ready!.
And, you singing on Let Me Entertain You...great idea!.
let's do a Roy Orbison song as well.
Which one do you think, or perhaps we could do a medley?
Exciting stuff!.
Peace
Kaitoa
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Dream Lover. 😄 My fave. What's yours?
This an eclectic repertoire we're getting here. May I throw some Cold Chisel into the mix? I reckon Mallow and Len would be into Cold Chisel. Or ABBA. Or ACDC. (Once did Long Way to the Top at karaoke. Good fun.)
Kaz
xxx