Struggling to go on

[Tess2]

Life is being really hard for me and troubles keep compounding. I cannot face wading through what is needed to move forward I feel isolated and alone. I have people who care but I think they can be overloaded with my despair and it can be a burden. There seem to be obstacles all along the way.

Two years ago I lost my job. A career of 50 years. I am 66 and have no partner. I have not coped well with this loss and now have significant financial problems too. I have to sell my home. Pay off my mortgage and buy a new place. I live with my son who is very caring but I have suppported him financially and emotionally through the family court. His ex is trying to remove him from his daughters life. I feel I have reached my retirement years with very little and no joy. Depression has been a big part of my life. But I have managed. Now I also have severe anxiety. It paralyses me. And panic attacks. I don’t know how to do each day.

[Guest8901]

Hello dear Tess,

Thank you for taking the time yesterday to give a bit of an explanation as to whats happening with you right now. You poor thing, that must be awful with the brain zaps and flu-like symptoms. So you went cold turkey with the ADs? What a shame the side effects from them caused you to go off them. I know you were feeling much better on them. But you aren't alone in feeling that the side effects are worse then the complaint itself. Its not just ADs that happens with either, it goes across the whole spectrum of medications in general. I have been very lucky in that side effects while on ADs/AAs have been minimal.

You mentioned you were going to see your GP this week, do you have an appointment as yet? I really hope they are able to help you through this transition period.

About 20 percent of patients who have taken an antidepressant for at least six weeks will develop what is known as discontinuation syndrome if they abruptly stop taking their antidepressant.

The effects of coming off ADs suddenly is known as "discontinuation syndrome". The severity of symptoms can vary significantly between individuals. Some have few or no symptoms when they cease ADs, where as others suffer extremely uncomfortable effects. Possible symptoms include fatigue, nausea, muscle pain, insomnia, anxiety, agitation, dizziness, blurred vision, irritability, tingling sensations, vivid dreams, sweating or electric shock sensations. Many, just like you, report the symptoms as being similar to the flu. So Tess ... I suspect you are likely correct in believing the symptoms are medication related. Lets hope the GP can offer some solutions to make things easier for you in the short term as your body adjusts. The good news is that these symptoms will slowly resolve, usually over a period of two to three weeks depending on the type of ADs you were on.

Meanwhile Tess, I am hearing you, and I accept how hard life is for you right now. All I can suggest is that you try your best to keep active (a big ask right now, but very important) and do something to help you distract your mind from your troubles and aches and pains. I'm sorry, I cannot recall if you are into arts and crafts? Something art related could be good right now, as it wont hurt your flu like aches and pains, but it does take our minds into a better place for a while. I'm a hopeless artist, but I find myself becoming totally engrossed in my art .. when I make the effort to do some.

Thinking of you Tess.

Mandy

[Tess2]

Thank you Mandy,

yes I am getting the other side effects too the vivid dreams and irritability and dizziness. I was going to go to the doc today but can’t get out of bed I feel so lousy. On reflection I am not sure that they were actually making much difference . My mood has always fluctuated.. I can’t go on like this much longer

tess

[Guest8901]

Oh Tess, I'm so sorry to hear that. Would your GP do a home visit? It could be worth enquiring because I agree that you should not have to feel that bad. Yes it will improve, but it could take a couple of weeks, maybe more. If your GP does not do home visits, perhaps a friend or your son could take you to see your GP.

My apologies, but I have forgotten whether you have a psych or counsellor that you see ... do you, and if so, is it possible to get in to see them? They may be able to help you with some transitional coping methods, as well as a bit of support. You certainly sound like you could use some help right now, so please do not delay in seeking assistance. You dont have to do it all on your own. Keep in mind too that you can call one of the help lines if you feel that talking to someone may help.

I care Tess and I'm concerned about you right now.

Amanda 💕🤗

[Tess2]

Thank you Amanda,

i called a helpline once and I just wanted to get off it in the end it wasn’t so good. I do not see a counsellor. I will get to my gp later in the week

thank you, I can’t say much more right now

tess

[Ggrand]

Hello Tess,

Im sorry you are also tired of trying..I know the feelingonly to well....Tess I have called a few helplines and didn’t seem to get much help..then my psych gave me the mental health help line..and I they are so very caring with so much time to talk and help me..Twice when I was so close they talked to me and turned my thoughts around...then they rang me later on that day to speak some more and check in on me..Please Tess if you need to speak to someone maybe you could give them a try...Ph no..1800-011-511 please sweety don’t give up....

I think I can understand about how your missing your former home...I had to sell mine to downsize to survive financially, it’s only 9 kilometres from where I am now, and when I can get me to darts I pass it and memories are always their..Im really sorry that your missing your former home...and neighbourhood....It may take a while before you are completely settled and feel like your home...I really hope you do...

Tess you have had a very hard life, and your doing a really good job at trying to heal yourself...I hope that one day soon your life will be much lighter and you have some happy days...

Thats okay Tess if your not able to talk right now, I’ll just sit quietly next to you and hold your hand..if that’s okay..I care about you Tess and want to be here for you as much as I can...you matter to me...I want to thank you so very much for your kind words to me, they mean a lot to me..Truth...

Please look after you the best you can, even 10 minutes a day just to sit outside or in a sunny spot in your home with some nice gentle mindful music on..a book, a cuppa...can help you to be living in the Now and gives your mind a little rest from negativity..please if you can try each day I’m hoping it will help a bit...

Thank you for being the caring, kind, compassionate beautiful person you are...

I hope tomorrow will be a better day for you then today was...

love and hugs dear friend..💜🤗.

Grandy...

[Tess2]

Hi , thank you Grandy. I find mental health lines tricky. They are are suicide lines or something else and if you are feeling suicidal they tell you yo call 000. I don’t want to call 000 in just want to talk about how I am feeling without being clapped in irons and being hospitalised. Sometimes I just want to ecpress how I am feeling not discuss a particular feeling. Even the online chat here asks what you want help with. I don’t know what to say so go no further. There doesn’t seem to be a line you can call and just talk about how you feel . The number you gave is for nsw I am in Perth, thank you though. Perpahs they are better than ours.

Tess

[Croix]

Dear Tess2~

Please excuse me for popping in.

If you want to simply talk about your feelings and circumstances, and do not need a crisis line, you might consider Lifelink Samaritans (a non religious organization) who have a base in WA. 135 247 (Not be confused with Lifeline)

Should you wish a crisis line I'd suggest the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467) who are trained professionals who are caring, competent and can be talked with more than once. I have confidence in them.

Thanks

Croix

[Tess2]

Thank you Croix,

i don’t mind you popping in at all. Thank you for the information. I don’t want. Crisis line, I don’t want all that crap they go on with. If I was going to do myself in, I’d just do it, not talk to someone to have them send emergency services or try to talk me around.

I value your inout

tess

[Guest8901]

Hi Tess,

Just popping in to say goodaye and to check how you are doing. Have you managed to get in to see your GP yet? If so, I hope they have been able to help in some way.

I'm sorry to hear that your experience with the help lines has not been overly helpful. I also understand what you said about the online chat here. I had a number of aborted attempts at logging onto it before I finally plucked up the courage to click in there. Admittedly I was not completely honest when filling in the preliminary questions. 😒 But I did find the resulting discussion (online chat) somewhat helpful, though time restricted. At least it felt as though I had a fragile lifeline for a while, at a time I was losing my grasp on life. It is better than nothing, especially at a time we are unable to post live here.

I accept what you are saying about if you were going to choose to do something, that you'd just go ahead and do it. But please Tess ... I truly hope it does not come to that. I really want you to stay safe and to get through this. With the right help and support you CAN and WILL get through it.

Tess you said "I don’t want to call 000 in just want to talk about how I am feeling without being clapped in irons and being hospitalised". I hope you know you can always talk here about how you feel. You have people here who care about you and want you to remain safe. People who have an understanding of what you are feeling and going through. If you ever feel the need to just talk, please do not hesitate to do so. As with all of us at some stage, posts may be delayed which is frustrating. But they will eventually come through. So please persevere with us here. We all want to help, if at all possible, even if that just means a listening ear at the other end of the computer keyboard. 👂👀 Talking is therapeutic .........

Please do not give up hope and please do not give up on life. 🌺 Talk to us if you ever feel the need.

Amanda 💕

[Ggrand]

Hello Tess,

Im just calling in to see how you’re doing today, I hear so much anger and frustration in your reply to Croix, and I’m so very sorry that their are no caring lifelines that are available for your needs in Perth...

I know you don’t want/like psychologists, but sweety I’m wondering if you could give yourself just one last go at it....For you , maybe just maybe you might find one that you connect to...

I have had so much dissapoint with my psychiatrist, psychologist, mhn, cancelling appointments, notvreally helping and just abandoning me....My Dr realising this has registered me up with Mindspot, (an online 8 week course with access to psychiatrist and psychologist to talk to when I need there help or just need to talk....and a Skype psychologist..I’m wondering if you could speak to your gp and see if he/she would be able to help you into doing something similar.....

No pressure to answer sweety, I just anted to tell you that you’re doing it so hard and I think.no I know that you’re entitled to every opportunity that is available to you...please don’t give up trying to get the help you so much need and deserve.....

Love and hugs..

Grandy.