Dear Tess~
The unkind work is whining, the kinder word is venting, which is no bad thing. If nobody did this forum would be half its size and there would be far too many feeling even more isolated, it can join people together.
It does one good for others to hear what's been wrong, it's part of being human. So you are welcome. There is another aspect too. The vast majority of people here just read, never post. So in some ways you are their voice.
I guess for every person there is a different account of hospitals. I was lucky and public has been effective and not too onerous. A discontinuity, a break in thoughts , habits and circumstances. I'm sorry it has not been the same in your experience.
I think you are right about the reset, have you any ideas? As for getting older, it does bring problems, often physical and financial. What are the main downsides you are finding? Are you contemplating going back into the public health system if you get the chance?
Between your son's problems, being unemployed and having the house and fiances hanging over your head it is so easy for those things to dominate every waking moment, which has a down side all its own.
While each can require some action - employment applications - dealing with estate agents - helping you son plan and do, is there any possibility of trying to set up barriers, so they only occupy a fixed portion of the day, leaving you to fill in the rest with happier, or at least reasonably pleasant, things?
It is not an easy thing and the mind so often wants to revert to dwelling on the bad. One way I've found to get the mind out of that track is to use the free smartphone app Smiling Mind which with practice does change one's thoughts. To start of one seems to be on it almost continuously, but it does get better.
Croix
