Should I just suck this up?

[monkey_magic]

OK, this isn't easy for me to write bcas I respect police also but this is my situation.

I aparantly unlawfully entered a friends property, that's right a friends property. He wasn't home and I wasn't believed. Anyhow I was put in a mental institution. I preferred the hospital choice over the police station choice thinking I'll be in there for a couple weeks.

3 months later I came out overmedicated feeling like shite...misdiagnosed with a mental illness as a " safety net" seriously!!!!

3 months of my life where I couldn't work, and live my normal life. Inclosed in a small space, going crazy.

Should I just " suck this up". ?

[monkey_magic]

Wow, thanks for letting me know all that meercat, glad you are no longer toxic. It is a Scary thing looking back for me because they put me on a lot, I could have been toxic at a time. Its also good to hear you can do more now. Yeah I understand the rollercoaster... Right now I'm feeling like " poor me"... But I'm glad I'm back in the dark...knew I'd be back there. I have the strength to face it...I somehow pushed it away...I'm going to embrace it.

[monkey_magic]

Thanks for saying I'm wise pepper. How are you going? How are you feeling? You will get through this OK. I got through my ex's death, breakups, pets deaths, house loses... Etc etc....u will get through this....

[monkey_magic]

By dark I mean reliving a time around a lot of ppl who were in dark places from the past ( from a homeless shelter) OK I'll stop writing now...

[monkey_magic]

I feel scarred. Sitting in nature today crying it out...I'm over my strong, tough front. I'm over being too strong & toughing this out....

[monkey_magic]

I've been so good at holding it in with physical pains....that wasn't so bad after all....I feel better, I look better, thanks to whoever is listening

[monkey_magic]

I feel down...I went to the police, psychiatrist, hospital, spoke to a doctor, mental health worker, cried about how much I wanted the meds out of my system and nothing can be done. I've signed this order. So somebody else chooses what I put into my body. I cannot choose. I'm overpowered by meds & that's supposed to be OK. Its supposed to be OK to be normal and believed but still be on meds for an illness I don't have 😞 its not ok

[Peppermintbach]

Hi monkey_magic,

Sorry, it has taken me a while to reply...

I know you have been struggling a lot...I see there's darkness enveloping you. It must be hard...

I think it's okay to feel down sometimes. Even the strongest people have moments of doubt, fear and uncertainty.

I have a bit loss for words over your latest news. All I can offer is some emotional support...

Gentle thoughts,

Pepper xoxo

P.S. Thanks for asking and for the well wishes and kindness. It really does mean a lot (especially when you're struggling so much). I've gone a tad numb but just a little bit...not a lot...

[Croix]

Dear MM~

The first thing to keep in mind is you will get though this, it is only temporary even if it does not seem like it right now. You have a great deal of resilience you know.

The other thing, which might not seem important is that you are an example for others, many of whom never post but just read. To see you have obstacles thrown up in your life and overcome them time and time again is highly encouraging. It shows what can be done.

Croix

[monkey_magic]

Aw thanks guys for your fast responses. Lovely of you both. I've been trying to jump through hoops by myself. They sped up my psychiatric appointment as soon as I said I spoke to the police about what was happening. The officer looked up my name & said there wasn't much there & to go & get a second opinion and say the meds aren't helping.

Its funny how strong u can be when u need to be. I'm also crying all over the place...

Croix I've been seeing guys again too, no boyfriend, just getting out there. And I take all the words u and others say about me with me...

Pepper the darkness can lift, and numbness turned into strength.I haven't read your thread yet so might pop over and see how your going..

To get the heaven first you must go through hell....its one of my sayings...I keep saying it to myself when I relive my past or when I'm in hell on earth. To get to heaven first you must go through hell....sometimes I feel like a bird in a cage...and I just want to fly out....

[Peppermintbach]

Hi monkey_magic,

You have certainly been having a very turbulent time. Some distressing stuff there....

I guess now you're wading through the water, pushing through the darkness (call it what you will)...

Hopefully your caged bird within is set free soon...

Funny coincidence is I recently purchased a print from this artist where she painted this woman trapped in a cage...may both this woman and the bird be set free...that is my wish for you...

Sending warm thoughts,

Pepper xoxo