Sad musings

[Peppermintbach]

Hi everyone,

I'm not sure what to say other than I'm just on edge, cranky and sad at the same time. I'm aware of helplines, doctors, mental health plans, mindfulness, CBT, smiling mind app, distractions, doing things we love, etc, etc. I feel as though I've hit a wall...

I know that I want to make some sort of change or changes but I'm unsure of the nature of this change. A general feeling of unease. When you're deeply unhappy but you're not even 100% sure why.

Seriously, this all probably seems kind of vague and I'm not sure what I'm hoping to achieve here, and I know that no one has the answer except for me (whatever that is...throws hands up in frustration).

All I can say is I think life is difficult and often painful. It's the daily, in-between moments that I find the hardest. Sometimes I wonder if brief moments of reprieve is as good as it gets.

Pepper

[demonblaster]

Good we've got another hugger 🙂 These soul hugs pots they're magic beyond. Love a good hug ,ya feel a connection.

Just dropping in to say Hiyaz 🙂

See yaz xx

[demonblaster]

Hey lovelies

Just popping in to say Hiyaz

Last chat Peps sweet you're finding your way again. Big happies to hear.

It's a battle but a worthy one aye, one we must win & learn from, that might be why we have downs, to become stronger & goin through rot gives us empathy & understanding.

Think highly of you darl Pepsy bach 😆

Keep fighting the good fight girl (( soul ))

[quirkywords]

Pepper,

I just wanted to drop by and say although I don't post here much, I follow this thread and read how you are going on other threads.

I can relate to what you said about finding being around other people draining at times.

As I sometimes talk a lot people can't understand this and how I find large social gatherings difficult.

I am thinking of you.

Sending kind thoughts

Quirky

[Moonstruck]

Hello Peppermint, Quirky and others......Re feeling drained at large social gatherings..and withdrawing from people as Pepper said....last week I had to attend one (had promised friends I would drive them, they were looking forward to it). Just previously a few things had happened one after the other, leaving me very very low, sad, tearful and feeling "loss".

I was polite and smiled where i had to, said Hi to those people who spoke to me..OK...then just had to sit on my own nearby for a while. Everyone was so upbeat and happy..and I just COULDN'T make the effort. At least I was there! I was friendly, I smiled, I made small talk but could only do so much...I felt on the verge of tears.

what should you say when they ask "how are you?" Do we lie, or tell the truth? Re my sitting on my own for a while, a friend who came with me told me it was "rude" of me. And I should have circulated more and spoke to more people.

Just a question if you can bear with me taking over your thread Pepper...how do you know if you are just "sad" or depressed? If you are really really sad, and the sadness is lasting several weeks? What do you say when people ask how you are? Do I say "I am a bit depressed actually"....or...."I am feeling a bit sad lately"...or what?thanks for listening Peppermint...I know you understand.

[demonblaster]

Hey guys

Quirky i reckon tell people when they ask ☺

[demonblaster]

Soz that reply above was to Moonstruck 👍

[Peppermintbach]

Hi wonderful people (Quirky, DB, m, Sez, Butterfly Wings, Moon, Monkey_Magic and everyone else);

I am very thankful for all the replies. Also, I’m very grateful for BB.

Your messages mean a lot and I know I keep saying that but they really do...

Sorry, I know that I said that I would do individuals replies but I’ve now built up such a back log...I hope it’s okay if I start doing individual replies from this point onwards? I’m so sorry...

I have been in a weird mental state. Sort of “here” but sort of not at the same time. I guess that I just feel a little lost.

I feel halfway sad and halfway indifferent. Not numb but a tad indifferent. I just sort of wish that I would stop hurting (side note: I’m safe).

My thoughts have been drifting to alcohol a lot lately where the obvious lure is for it to numb the pain. I realise that will cause more harm in the long run as I know it’s a depressant...yet my mind drifts there to “hurt a little less.” Don’t worry, sighs, I’m staying away from the alcohol...

I have been told that I’m “insightful.” Whether that is true or not is debateable. Either way, let’s just say for argument’s sake that I have (some) insight...yet I’m not entirely sure how to use it on myself. Sighs. When it comes to me, I often think “?”

Love and gratitude,

Pepper xoxo

[monkey_magic]

Yes, I think you are " insightful "...absolutely! You give others insight as well. Everybody is lucky to gain from that, thankyou !

[demonblaster]

Dear Peps you help & loyally support so many yet you're struggling hard too you dear darling lovely caring compassionate soul.

Absolutely no probs answering individuals im sure others would feel same just whatever you're comfy with.

You're well loved & appreciated dear girl speaks volumes about what kind of person you are

Awful feeling as you are aye, hard to know what direction to go isnt it

So much care

Soul hugs whenever you need them lovely friend xxx

[Peppermintbach]

Hi,

As always, a grateful thank you for the love and support. You don’t have to respond on this thread yet you “choose to” and that makes all the difference. Thank you...

It’s probably not a good sign when one of the first things I think about upon getting out of bed is alcohol. Sighs...it was just before 8 this morning when I already thought to myself that I could “use a drink.” Luckily I opted for coffee instead...

monkey_magic: your post made me smile 🙂 I appreciate your confidence in me.

DB: you’re such a compassionate and generous soul. I’ve appreciated your ongoing support and how you frequently check in on me. Knowing that people care makes a difference.

Love and kindness,

Pepper xoxo