Sad musings

[Peppermintbach]

Hi everyone,

I'm not sure what to say other than I'm just on edge, cranky and sad at the same time. I'm aware of helplines, doctors, mental health plans, mindfulness, CBT, smiling mind app, distractions, doing things we love, etc, etc. I feel as though I've hit a wall...

I know that I want to make some sort of change or changes but I'm unsure of the nature of this change. A general feeling of unease. When you're deeply unhappy but you're not even 100% sure why.

Seriously, this all probably seems kind of vague and I'm not sure what I'm hoping to achieve here, and I know that no one has the answer except for me (whatever that is...throws hands up in frustration).

All I can say is I think life is difficult and often painful. It's the daily, in-between moments that I find the hardest. Sometimes I wonder if brief moments of reprieve is as good as it gets.

Pepper

[Cesca1557]

hi pepper,

sending you lots of gentle virtual hugs 🙂
currently listening to sedated right now, already really love it, definitely does have some greater meanings that i connect to as well. thanks for the suggestion.

ive found an album that i really love and have connected to recently, again, it could be quite triggering for some, so like pepper said which hoziers album, approach this one with gently caution

its called low blows by meg mac. meg mac is someone ive always loved, i saw her when she played at falls festival a few years ago (even though it was 40 degrees and i was dying of thirst haha, we stood in the sun and watched her perform). anyway this is her new album basically describes her road from rock bottom to where she is now.
personally, i love the songs didnt want to get so low but i had to, and maybe its my first time (on a single album but released at the same time) but it wasnt because of their meaning, i just loved the sounds of the songs.

but. ride it, and shiny bright are two songs on the album that i love for their meaning and their sounds.

to give you a little preview, ride it is, about having to just ride out the tough days, and basically that the good and the bad, you just have to get through it.

shiny bright - its about that nothing is a shiny or bright as you would have imagined your life to be when you were younger thinking about where you wanted to be now. bad things are going to happen so you just need to make your life the best you can

listen to them if you want, whenever you are ready as again, some of the songs could be slighly triggering as it is about her journey up from rock bottom so does touch on hard times.

anyway, just wanted to pop in and say in thinking of you and thinking positive thoughts for you
xx

[Peppermintbach]

Hi everyone,

As always, I'm truly grateful for everyone's supportive posts. Thank you; I keep saying it but I do mean it.

Little Wings- thanks for the squishy lil sis hugs (love those). Yes, I will save a big hug for you post sutures. You mean a lot to me too btw 🙂

Thank you for being there for me even though I know you're going through a lot yourself. You never have to hurt alone either.

DB- I'm glad you conquered those hills. I mean, you blast demons and are Mrs Hercules so of course you didn't let some steep hills get the better of you 😉

I think it's great that you have so much love to give and tend to get along with most people. I think people are drawn to you...

Wilma- I always appreciate your visits. Thank you for your very encouraging words about my comments on SN's thread 🙂

...knowing people care does, so here we are, sitting, caring, and listening

That was perfect and I agree that knowing people care helps immensely. You're so right. Thank you.

Thank you all so much.

Love,

Pepper xoxo

[Peppermintbach]

Hi again,

As always, a heartfelt thank you for the beautiful messages 🙂

Nath- you are very thoughtful. And please don't apologise- you have been very busy and have your own set of struggles. I'm just happy to see you here 🙂

Thanks, I'm managing. Can't quite think of a word to describe how I'm doing except feeling slightly numb and slightly sad. So combine the 2: I feel "samb." Lol.

Cesca- thanks for checking in on me. I know you've been doing it tough too.

It's a painting of woman trapped in a cage. She had sad eyes- that's what drew me in and prompted me to buy the print.

monkey_magic- I agree that Hozier is amazing! And I'm glad "Sedated" resonated with you.

Thank you and Kind thoughts to all.

Love,

Pepper xoxo

[demonblaster]

lol yeah pretty busy Peps what with blasting and being Mrs Hercules, it's a wonder I have time to cry 😄

Hey sweet thanks for your beautiful comments & for your loving support in other thread.

You Rock girl xxx

[Just Sara]

Hey lovely;

I'm really sorry for not being here for you as I so sorely would like to be. There are times 'life' happens and it takes much mojo to combat triggers and complications. Just know I'm thinking of you and sending many thoughts of love and caring. (And big squishy bear hugs!)

I'm struggling with 'closeness' atm and therefore have been concentrating on threads that excite my intellect instead of my heart. This in no way says anything about you or others I've come to admire and love...just to be clear ok?

I just finished a post on 'depression being an unnatural response to an insane world'. If you want to engage in something with a bit more bite, (as you have before on that thread) it may provide an avenue to side-track current woes.

At least that's what it did for me...looking at positives to combat his negative response. I like to help out like that. I do feel a bit helpless at times with you guys; I know you get what I mean as you probably struggle when my demons rise too.

I'll return to my silly self in no time; it's always the way. 🙂 In the mean time, I want you to know as always, you're precious to me.

Loving cuddles and tickles to make you smile...

Sez xoxo

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Cesca,

I so appreciate the lovely post and music talk 🙂

I listened to Meg Mac's "Low Blows" when it was first out and loved it too! As I mentioned in your thread, my fave song on the whole album was the song by the same name 😉

I really liked the soulfulness of the whole album (and her voice). Yes, I agree with you about how sound is a major drawcard too; it's not always about the song meaning. I 100% agree with you there!

"Ride it" and "shiny bright" sound like they mean a lot to you though. Perhaps they helped you out during rough times.Thank you so much for sharing this with me 🙂

Also, I'm glad you're enjoying some of Hozier's music. I love "Sedated"; a lot of people interpret it quite literally but I go for a more metaphorical interpretation personally. Hozier does this whole passionate, slightly gothic vibe that I love.

An appreciative thank you, as always, for all your support as well as your wonderful post.

Love,

Pepper xoxo

[Peppermintbach]

Hi DB,

Thank you so much for visiting 🙂 It means that much more when I know you're struggling yourself. Keep doing your "thing"...tears and blasting demons at the same time, you multi-talented person 😉

Any time, thanks for letting me be a part of your thread 🙂

Kind thoughts...

Love,

Pepper xoxo

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Sez,

A gentle hug from me. Please don't apologise- there's nothing to be sorry for.

I realise you have a lot on your plate so it really does mean a lot that you took some time out to post on this thread. A grateful thank you.

I think that's perfectly okay if focusing on more intellectually stimulating threads help you cope sometimes 🙂 To be fair, I do notice when your writing tone changes every so often- even if I don't necessarily comment about it - where you speak more "thought-speak" than "heart-speak." Nothing wrong with "thought-speak" sometimes especially if it helps you 😉

I saw your post on the thread you mentioned and I'm glad it's helped you to engage and take your mind off some of your current struggles.

Thank you for the beautiful words 🙂 Back at you; you mean the world to me too. Heart of hearts.

Love you- Milky Way, arts and all. And forever and always.

Pepper xoxo

[Peppermintbach]

Hi internet people,

Just sad. My words are running scarce. Think I'm going to be sick.

Anyone else hurting, feel free to join me in spirit...

"Misery loves company" after all...maybe we can all hurt "together" and hurt a little less as a result...

Logging out now.

Scarce words xoxo

[startingnew]

Im right here for you Peps ❤❤ holding your hand and sharing your pain ❤