relationship breakup

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi , i was in a relationship the first after a divorce of a 20 year marriage , i didn't think i would find love again , i meet this lady through some good friends and we started slow seeing each other on weekends , we lived 2 hrs apart .. we found comfort in each other and the time we spent together was the best time i have ever spent with a women , i could watch the grass grow for ever in her company . as time went on the baggage in both our lives came out and instead of dealing with it we just broke up .. she was scared and so was i .. the going our own ways happened so suddenly and i couldn't believe it happened ...approx 10months ago ... we had little contact and got on with our lives ..i whole time feeling very sad i felt a massive loss .. honestly thought we wold spend our lives together .. i speak of the good times now but there were times that her baggage came out and with out an open communication at these times it would be impossible to have a lasting relationship ...no such communication was possible ... and i know us being apart is better ..but i am still so in love with her ...i messaged her a few days ago and showed her pictures of my apartment which i have renovated ..the finished product ..she didn't reply ..i messaged my feelings and she replied with i think you should move on like i have ..i asked her if she was seeing anyone and she said yes ...i had to get myself home and i vomited many times and just put myself to bed ..i am reliving the weekends i said with her and seeing another guy in her life exactly like i was ...i try to reflect to the times that help me understand that it wouldn't have worked between us but my heart is so full of love for her .. its painful and i can't stop crying

[awrinkle_in_time]

Good Morning , Thank-you for the words once again . Yes i did see the carpool and i recon its my favourite also . Thanks ....

I just need to slow down and go slow im going to do that .. I aways have so much going on ...

I know your support is there thank you ....and this it will pass ... Im okay ...I know what to do for myself and i will do it ....get back on track ....

Have a good day Lovely

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi Ya , Had a busy day at work , all went well ...

Got the shrink lady tomorrow ...funny how it comes around when you need it hey ...

Hope you day went well and all is good ...

Going out for dinner tonight with old 5 girlfriends and the kids ...Im going to order the pork , pesto and pasta 🙂

🙂

[monkey_magic]

Monkey magic is swinging from tree to tree wheeee!!!

Are there any bananas???

I'm doing a bit therapy myself..

Glad all went well.

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi , Glad your getting into the swing of it ...

Joke ---- Whats an eggs worse day of the week ?

Fry Day ... 🙂 ....You can use it if you like ...

[awrinkle_in_time]

Good Morning , Swinging Thought the trees sounds good ...

Watched the Elton John Car pool Last night was quite funny ...

Going to have today off work ..Got the shrink lady this morning am looking forward to that .. ...

Have a good day ...Monkey Magic

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi , Have had a strange few days ...Feel like I'm on the right track now and just a bit shell shocked ... The physiologist visit went well ...

I think i have been really missing that connection with someone ...I have also had lots of abuse from my ex wife i still carry fears of rejection and abuse ... we lived in this cycle of abuse where things were okay and progressively got worse until a blow up and the cycle would start again ....i haven't been long out of that ....your body clock knows when its coming the stress starts ...its especially worse if it goes on past the 2,3,6, months what ever the cycle time was ...I worry that if i dont please im going to cop the abuse ...its got a lot better and ive come a million miles being out of the relationship ...but its still there ... i have to trust that all is okay and i dont have to make things right ...i can take off the superman cape every now and again ... im becoming more mindful of these events when they happen .... seeing it for what it is ....it just takes lots of work hey ...and time ...there is probably more but the brain has stopped putting out i must be tired ...

wet and cold up my way ...Hope you had productive day and all is good in your hood ...

i think ive seen all the car pools now ... Ive enjoyed them ...brings a smile ....

Sending you a big smile ...

[monkey_magic]

🙂 thanks 4 the smile; smile back....so many ppl going through abuse, been through abuse, recovering from abuse... O m g .. It's so common these days.I've been through it myself too.More than what u could probably imagine. If only all the abusers could be shipped off to an island somewhere...out of society...

It can have lasting effects...it's really good that you are out of that situation.

[monkey_magic]

Helloooo again,

I watched Elton John and told that joke about the egg...ha,ha...

I Iove that song; " I'm still standing...feeling like a true surviver..feeling like a little kid....

It was a funny carpool too...

Ya swinging through the trees was fun... And I found some bananas 😉

[awrinkle_in_time]

Good Morning , I read your thread this morning , You told a bit more ...Good for you ...

I think when im ever around people that are not good for me or they show signs of abusing , something triggers in me now and i remove myself from the situation ...I stand up for myself when i can but sometimes the fight and flight thing comes in and i go blank ...i freeze ...those situations are difficult ....but im getting better ...

Getting a couple of coffees together now ...

i was out of it last night must have been so tired and walked into a door ....boy it hurt ...it was a security door ...just shows how much attention can be lost at times ....ive never done that before ...

have a good day dear friend 🙂 .....................................................................................................

[monkey_magic]

....Morning. Drank the coffee ( ssllluuurrrppp)....

Yeah I decided to share some more. So u walked into a door...lol...hope u r OK.

Yeah I know what u mean about the fight,flight,freeze response... It's really good that you are getting better at it. When we are being threatened it's our way of surviving that threat. I've had those responses.

I think it's best to remove yourself from those situations although I have seen men confront those abusive situations with abuse. But yeah it's better walking away I think...don't let that person have any power over you. Easier said than done though. I think we become products of our environment and have to work on ourselves to change that....

Oudios Omego hope u have a really good day 🙂