relationship breakup

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi , i was in a relationship the first after a divorce of a 20 year marriage , i didn't think i would find love again , i meet this lady through some good friends and we started slow seeing each other on weekends , we lived 2 hrs apart .. we found comfort in each other and the time we spent together was the best time i have ever spent with a women , i could watch the grass grow for ever in her company . as time went on the baggage in both our lives came out and instead of dealing with it we just broke up .. she was scared and so was i .. the going our own ways happened so suddenly and i couldn't believe it happened ...approx 10months ago ... we had little contact and got on with our lives ..i whole time feeling very sad i felt a massive loss .. honestly thought we wold spend our lives together .. i speak of the good times now but there were times that her baggage came out and with out an open communication at these times it would be impossible to have a lasting relationship ...no such communication was possible ... and i know us being apart is better ..but i am still so in love with her ...i messaged her a few days ago and showed her pictures of my apartment which i have renovated ..the finished product ..she didn't reply ..i messaged my feelings and she replied with i think you should move on like i have ..i asked her if she was seeing anyone and she said yes ...i had to get myself home and i vomited many times and just put myself to bed ..i am reliving the weekends i said with her and seeing another guy in her life exactly like i was ...i try to reflect to the times that help me understand that it wouldn't have worked between us but my heart is so full of love for her .. its painful and i can't stop crying

[awrinkle_in_time]

ha ha ... the paddy wagons... are full of sharks ...

i cant think it to late ....my brain is shutting down ...

sleep well beautiful ...

nice dreams ...

xxx

[awrinkle_in_time]

Good Morning , Im up early today have a few jobs in the field ...will be able to put my tool belt on ...i like that, ...other days I'm in an office ...a good balance ...

I slept well ...hope you did also ...

could we write a book ...a best seller ... we have lots of material you and i ...

Enjoy you day my friend ..

Cappuccino is there if you feel like one ...

[monkey_magic]

Sheezus-

The space trip was a bit of a journey....Storytime-

They were trying to bait her. She was bait. She was the victim of the shortcomings of men. Snarling monsters would hurt her, expend their dark energy, so she would cower. They wouldn't let her fly...they would rather she die...but she got up and started to fly anyway..with broken wings and a dim light and flew away... Miracles can and do happen. That dog I hit was still walking on a broken leg...

Heya!!! Love is definitely a "safe" place.....

Book title; how to survive with no money & no house...ha,ha...

Can't say I was full of love last night...my past life was hitting hard...so many memories...memories I'd rather forget, but then

I " forgave it"...

I think u need a bit of luck...and know how to manifest / attract things into your life. It was priceless but I also payed a huge price...I guess like a soldier going through war....you are in the battleground and u either make it through or you don't. Either way we are all going to die...they say "live like it's your last days"- I love that so much; " live like it's your last days"...

U and the tools; I thought of; " Bob the builder can we fix it, Bob the builder yes we can. "

He microwaved the heart until it was cooked and ate it- it was gross...might go heat up that liver.

Reflecting a lot today....lessons to take out of the past...change...steps backwards, steps forwards...

[monkey_magic]

I'm really listening; about the mind being clear, about feeling bliss, about creating the world u want to live in....I'm really listening to your stories and knowledge ( i.e the meditation)

I so need that right now...

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi , I'm home and studying your last messages , read then from the phone this arvo ....but what to enjoy on the big screen ....

hope your day was good .... and all went well x

[monkey_magic]

Sorry, I wasn't very clear with my storytime...something was going through my head at the time. I wanted to say something, xpress a part of my past without describing it fully. I don't like burdening ppl. I don't want ppl to have an "imprint" in their mind of my, "someones" past....but I know that's what these forums r 4....I just had a whole bunch of men trying to get into my pants, say that they had ....with me when they hadn't, they were trying to bait me for sex, I was stalked by some, also abused. I won't keep going. My msg from the storytime was u can walk away from it all and heal....That prob makes more sense....

Ok, enough about me...

All these memories surfaced when u said my past life was hard....

[awrinkle_in_time]

You described your past in a poem ...

Again... am so glad you came out of that ..

how have you been in your reflecting today ...hope it has been not to painful...

You would have a good idea of who to trust and who not to trust ...Ive made a rule in my life ....don't hang out with crappy people ...it rubs off on ya ....i have done a lot of physiology to become aware of those people ....my ex wife was quite the abuser ...I have a few stories on that subject ....Later ...maybe ....don't need too ....If you want to know i will tell x

I suppose you have to say how lucky we are ....you said that after watching the prison shows (Im Lucky i have my freedom ) ...and you are so lucky ...you have many gifts monkey ( wish i new your name ) ...(its okay for me to wish)

I hope you are not feeling crappy ...

So i got home and the new neighbours are sitting on their deck ....I wanted over and said ...I don't think i said my name when we spoke the other afternoon ...they just stared at me ....we had a bit of a chat ...So they know my name and don't laugh but i have forgotten their names ...ha ha ...how rude of me ...They are so nice ...

I was in the field today ...I am an Electrician ....But i have seen Bob getting around ...getting it done ...good old Bob ...So the flying through space was a bit much it takes a bit to master ...the more you practice the easier it gets sometimes i find it hard to start the stars moving ....when i find it hard i know my mind is to busy ...the deep breaths are perfect ...you must think I'm crazy ...

Sending you lots of everything X 70 my lovely friend ...

Yes the book ...No Money No House .....How To Make It Happen ...xxx

[awrinkle_in_time]

I have an imprint of you and its from what i read in your words ...and its all so so good ...

Never any Judgement Lovely Lady ....

So the book deal ...I added How To Make It Happen ....Can I add more ?

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi

Im sorry that i said that and it surfaced everything ....

I recon all we all want is to be truly loved and respected and all would be okay ...how could it not be ...

Rained around hear today ...not a good day for doing the laundry ...or climb a mountain ...

someone said to me the other day would you jump out of a plane with a parachute on .....I said I don't know ....have you ever done it ...It would be scary going up in the plane ...

I climb up power poles ...have a harness on ...strap myself in at the top and fix stuff .... thats fun i like that ...

did you have your coffee this morning ...I had a Mc Muffin with my coffee will have to walk in the morning ha ha ...

if its not raining ...have been busy this week and am looking forward to the weekend ...what shall we do ?

a couple of cyber coffees ...a cyber walk on the beach ...wow that would be fun ... being silly ...

a cyber movie ...action or romance ..

Listened to those songs last night ....I was okey ...are you proud ... I like your compliments ...and i like giving them to you ...i have to be careful ....i don't get emotional and say to much ha ha ...

Just want to be loving ....

Didn't re read hope this makes sense ...

[monkey_magic]

There's no need to be sorry at all- you are loving....I brought up homelessness and u asked how long and all the memories came back. Not ur fault at all....I was writing and writing then delete delete...

Yeah I've been skydiving... I felt at peace in the plane...