relationship breakup

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi , i was in a relationship the first after a divorce of a 20 year marriage , i didn't think i would find love again , i meet this lady through some good friends and we started slow seeing each other on weekends , we lived 2 hrs apart .. we found comfort in each other and the time we spent together was the best time i have ever spent with a women , i could watch the grass grow for ever in her company . as time went on the baggage in both our lives came out and instead of dealing with it we just broke up .. she was scared and so was i .. the going our own ways happened so suddenly and i couldn't believe it happened ...approx 10months ago ... we had little contact and got on with our lives ..i whole time feeling very sad i felt a massive loss .. honestly thought we wold spend our lives together .. i speak of the good times now but there were times that her baggage came out and with out an open communication at these times it would be impossible to have a lasting relationship ...no such communication was possible ... and i know us being apart is better ..but i am still so in love with her ...i messaged her a few days ago and showed her pictures of my apartment which i have renovated ..the finished product ..she didn't reply ..i messaged my feelings and she replied with i think you should move on like i have ..i asked her if she was seeing anyone and she said yes ...i had to get myself home and i vomited many times and just put myself to bed ..i am reliving the weekends i said with her and seeing another guy in her life exactly like i was ...i try to reflect to the times that help me understand that it wouldn't have worked between us but my heart is so full of love for her .. its painful and i can't stop crying

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi Ya , out of meat yet ? .. Have been going along okay ...Memories are fading ... What a wild time ...not saying its 100% but compared to 3 months ago ... you know what i mean ... Then we meet someone else and start it over again ... shit ... Going to a Salsa dance class tonight ... should be fun ...thats if i don't fall over ... Just saying Hi Monkey hope your good xx

[monkey_magic]

Hi, how was salsa? It's great that you're feeling better after three months. I had a bottle of red to myself last night with no hangover which was good.

I spoke to my ex last night- good conversation. I hope I find better than him though in the future- I really hope there is someone else out there for me. We both live in different states now. The guy I was seeing after my ex I can only take in small doses.

[monkey_magic]

In saying all that though I think I need to rediscover myself...conquer some things, get stronger

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi Ya Monkey ,

Love your words ... Awesome ... I just so miss female company ... Didn't go to salsa ...got there and said stuff this and went and ate a pizza in the park shit it was nice ... I worked with a girl today and we had a great day ... we were working in a small room and we were quite close ... i really enjoyed he company ..

Had a big day ...going to bed ...Night xx

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hello Friend , We had a beautiful Australia Day we had some strangers take a picture of us and we had that picture at both our houses ...A great day and great memories ..we watched the fire works .. We were falling in love and it was wonderful ...I cant believe it hangs on so strong ... i think there might be some tears this weekend ..

Hope your on top of things ..hope the bottle of red was a good one ... I find red can hit hard the next day ha ha ..

Have a nice weekend beautiful strong lady xxx

[monkey_magic]

Aw,

I hope you are OK & can make a new memory on this day!!! Happy Australia day simon.

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hey , i went with it ...all good the odd cry but still have my Gal Bladder which is a bonus ..i went and had a tantric massage ..bloody hell ..Amazing ... Amazing ... That kept my mind at bay for a little bit .. Feel close to her again ..not sure why ... I think i might get a massage once a week ha ha ...Tantric style ... ive discovered something new ...monkey ...went to the gym got the body working ...its so bloody hot its hard to sleep ...i listen to sleepy music on youtube ...which helps ... not sure why i put dots in-between my words ...i just do ... Hope your well xx its all a big game of snakes and ladders .. Tell me what you have been up too 🙂

[monkey_magic]

Hi Simon,

Massages sure are amazing.I don't think I've had a tantric one though. Once a week would be amazing. It's good that you are in touch with your feelings and just went with it. U must buy a cooling fan or sleep with ice cubes in a towel or something. Nothing worse than not being able to sleep because of heat.

Ive been job searching again, shopping, watching shows, walks,drives,internet,saw a live show,going to clubs,RSL. I won another meat tray.

Well done for going to the gym even though it was stinking hot.

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi Ya Monkey , Hows the job hunting going ? ...Another meat tray well done, i bet you have a freezer full of meat ...

I have nothing to report just working and all that stuff ... Have felt the girl on and off just going with it ... its funny how that comes and goes it must be related to something i do around the house maybe that triggers a memory of her ...anyway like i said just going with it ... Funny you talked about your EX ...I spoke to mine the other day and boy i am so glad i don't need to deal with that on a daily basis ... You really grow on your own ... and even though i miss the GC girl i am growing i know it ... i get bursts of happiness ...and bursts of being super relaxed ... just not feeling the pressure of a relationship ...i don't think im ready .... just thinking about it gets me stressed ...i also miss it ...i supose when your with the right one there wont be that stress ...maybe ... anyway ... Hope your good and well ... have a great rest of the week and weekend xx

[monkey_magic]

Hi Simon,

Gorgeous weather today. Yeah you'll know when your ready to be in another relationship. Unfortunately there are triggers, certain things remind you of them. Yep I have meat in the freezer & job searching is slow, when I'm ready I'll apply more.

Im just lapping up the sun and relaxing today.