relationship breakup

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi , i was in a relationship the first after a divorce of a 20 year marriage , i didn't think i would find love again , i meet this lady through some good friends and we started slow seeing each other on weekends , we lived 2 hrs apart .. we found comfort in each other and the time we spent together was the best time i have ever spent with a women , i could watch the grass grow for ever in her company . as time went on the baggage in both our lives came out and instead of dealing with it we just broke up .. she was scared and so was i .. the going our own ways happened so suddenly and i couldn't believe it happened ...approx 10months ago ... we had little contact and got on with our lives ..i whole time feeling very sad i felt a massive loss .. honestly thought we wold spend our lives together .. i speak of the good times now but there were times that her baggage came out and with out an open communication at these times it would be impossible to have a lasting relationship ...no such communication was possible ... and i know us being apart is better ..but i am still so in love with her ...i messaged her a few days ago and showed her pictures of my apartment which i have renovated ..the finished product ..she didn't reply ..i messaged my feelings and she replied with i think you should move on like i have ..i asked her if she was seeing anyone and she said yes ...i had to get myself home and i vomited many times and just put myself to bed ..i am reliving the weekends i said with her and seeing another guy in her life exactly like i was ...i try to reflect to the times that help me understand that it wouldn't have worked between us but my heart is so full of love for her .. its painful and i can't stop crying

[geoff]

hi Simon, I've been following most of your comments but it seems as though you seem to be coping much better now and that's great after the breakup you had to go through, eventually we start to take on a different life, you've done it just as I had to and it does take a little time, but pleased for how you are going. Geoff.

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi Monkey ..

[monkey_magic]

Hi simon,

How did the weekend treat you this time around??

[awrinkle_in_time]

a bit mixed up ...i went for breakfast with a lovely lady and all was good exciting and all that then this afternoon i cried my eyes out ... bloody hell ..the pain is relentless..

[monkey_magic]

Hugs beautiful man. Unfortunately my magic monkey wand stopped working, if only I could wave it and ease your pain but I can't. U still seem to be feeling it alright. I'm glad you are also moving forward and having an exciting time. I believe you are going forward in life as well which takes guts and a lot of effort. You have the energy Simon to get over this hurdle/ these hurdles.

Good on you for being so open about your feelings...

I can see you on another beach date soon, in the waves, letting them crash, feeling a new sensation as you feel the calmness surrounding you like only the ocean can give.

You may be feeling pain now but a fresh, new feeling could be on the horizon.

Embrace all that life "gives", relentless or exciting, or calming.

You have come this far already, at least the rollercoaster is moving and you do other things, it will make your path straight again one day, she will just be a memory. The feelings will have passed one day...just like the waves crashing to the shore in that storm..the feelings are passing you...pain is only weakness leaving the body...

[awrinkle_in_time]

Thank-you...Monkey .. Im a bit speechless .. all good .. thank you xxx

[Guest_1584]

Hi Simon.

lf ya don't mind me asking , how long were you together , and from what l can gather you split about 10mths ago , is that right ?

Reason l asked is we got back together for a few wks again but, it hasn't worked out and l'm wondering how you've found dating again after however long it's been since the split.?

From what l can tell first one you didn't feel ready .

[awrinkle_in_time]

im not sure ..how long its been i think in my mind its only been a few weeks cause i thought she was going to come live with me towards the end of oct ..next week ...but 4 or 5 weeks ago she said she had moved on and was with someone else ...i find I'm not so attached to other women ... i haven't found that spark yet i am talking with a lovely lady at the moment and had time with her this morning ...it might go some where time will tell ... my ex has touched a part of me no other person ever has ...it seem so wrong we aunt in each others lives ...my thoughts i know I'm just in a moment ...ive never had anything like this pull me up in my life before ...not even 20 years of marriage ... that was easy compared to this ...( for me ) ... it is getting better if i reflect back .... or is it.. I'm not sure ..when I'm with another women its like I'm still with her .. but i know we have split ...her name comes to mind ..and i can see her bedroom her house her face .. one night i had a dream about her teeth ...she has one bent one at the front ... i need locking up ...ha ha ...thanks for being a friend RandomX ...need to sleep now ...

[awrinkle_in_time]

Your such a good writer Monkey ... Hope your well and heading into a ripper week ...

[monkey_magic]

Hello Simon,

U might b in bed but I just wanted to say what u write resignated with me. I was in a deep/soul relationship that felt so wrong when we had split. We kept crossing paths also & he of course married the wrong woman and I still think of him 11 years later. Some things r out of our control, there r some things we have no choice over. I'm still a bit devastated 11 years later. I know I write this will pass and all of that, it gets easier but there are things we always remember. I still moved on though, had other partners, saw other men, but his name was still on my mind. I will be 80 and he will prob still be the most profound/ deep love I ever had, well, hopefully not. Because there are millions of others and I haven't experienced them yet.

It's horrible, losing the only one you want to love, but one thing I love is that you are still pro-actively giving love a chance. There are different " loves "to be " found"....

So, keep the memories if you will, I know I'll be on my death bed and probably call his name, lol...even though I'd be married to say, Tom. Lol.