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relationship breakup

awrinkle_in_time
Community Member
Hi , i was in a relationship the first after a divorce of a 20 year marriage , i didn't think i would find love again , i meet this lady through some good friends and we started slow seeing each other on weekends , we lived 2 hrs apart .. we found comfort in each other and the time we spent together was the best time i have ever spent with a women , i could watch the grass grow for ever in her company . as time went on the baggage in both our lives came out and instead of dealing with it we just broke up .. she was scared and so was i .. the going our own ways happened so suddenly and i couldn't believe it happened ...approx 10months ago ... we had little contact and got on with our lives ..i whole time feeling very sad i felt a massive loss .. honestly thought we wold spend our lives together .. i speak of the good times now but there were times that her baggage came out and with out an open communication at these times it would be impossible to have a lasting relationship ...no such communication was possible ... and i know us being apart is better ..but i am still so in love with her ...i messaged her a few days ago and showed her pictures of my apartment which i have renovated ..the finished product ..she didn't reply ..i messaged my feelings and she replied with i think you should move on like i have ..i asked her if she was seeing anyone and she said yes ...i had to get myself home and i vomited many times and just put myself to bed ..i am reliving the weekends i said with her and seeing another guy in her life exactly like i was ...i try to reflect to the times that help me understand that it wouldn't have worked between us but my heart is so full of love for her .. its painful and i can't stop crying
640 Replies 640

Morning simon,

When living in qld I also spent loads of time at the beach, best thing!

I think you're dumping her out of you successfully.... & then you have the therapeutic benefits of the beach to keep you up, doing well there. Plus the exercise. I like how proactive you are being. Music used to lift me out of a breakup as well. I'd get angry and cry it out.

I have one thing to complain about ( being on a community health order) otherwise life is pretty good for me. I miss the qld lifestyle though.

Hi , feeling better today ,it is lifting ..am seeing clearly that i have dodged a bullet .. How much longer is your community order for ? it has to have an end date .. I hear so much strength in you writing .. What do you need to do to lift that thing off you .. I'm glad you replied and all is good apart from that stupid community order .. Once its gone it will never be back and that time will come .. Have a nice night , be good to yourself .. lots of sleep , good food and a nice walk if you can tomorrow .. Hug Hug Hug ..

Hi , Coolum is a lovely spot , if you can you should get back up for a visit , lots to see and do now .. I finely starting to feel free again and can see so much life in front of me .. The right person will come along and i think we tend to give way to much after a marriage break down .. i understand what has happened and going slow now. ..I like the whole box of rocks thing .. thats funny ..Thank you for caring enough to reply .. i have got so much from everyone and i so appreciate that. We are so lucky to have each other and to be able to tap into the wealth of wisdom that is out there .. Thanks BB... Love To All

Morning simon,

Its a 6 month order boo....to get out of it I think I need a lawyer. I don't have what they say I have already been confirmed by doc....why don't they give my meds to some1 who actually needs them. A mistake made there, but do they even care?? It feels good to know that hopefully there's an end date..they can also extent it aaaahhhhh.....

Yeah I'm strong he he....always wanted to be so I am...you are too.

Its great dodging those all too familiar bullets- plenty of them out there.

A walk does sound nice, will prob do one this avo..or go gym.

Been eating well & sleeping well, prob eat more junk than I need but oh well..

Hoping today serves you well Mr & that all good things fly your way....

Hi , Glad to hear your cruising along .. The weekend are killers for me .. I remember times spent with my girl and the memories are so vivid ..it makes me feel sick ..I was writing this morning in my computer notes i figure writing might help .. our time together was so present ..it was just us and life when we were together we had just each other .. i had never had that before ..i know it wont work between us but i miss those times ..i think that i have lacked that real connection all my life even with my family .. and to see it and get it from her was daunting ..it made a huge impression on me .. i am seeing a professional and hopefully we can get to the bottom of the lost feeling i have this thirst for love and feeling a part of something .. thanks for reading ..thanks for being hear xx

Weird but l can't see much in front of me , l'm not sure why or if l even care. l could before with gf , but l don't now..

Try not to worry about her seeing someone else , that will implode writings on the wall , it's too soon, she's just bounced onto the next convenient shoulder like damaged people do.

l'm not sure with mine either , there were things with her, some said bpd, l dunno but def' something that really no man needs tbh Sadly though her goods and our goods were mind blowing , the best ever , sp it's hard not to regret or think coulda shoulda or what ifs , such a loss but maybe also a hige bullet dodge , like yours , probably a lot more so actually because mine not only had her thing bit she also too had a truckload of baggage , bad stuff.

l do worry though that anyone else from here could only be a let down after our thing. l really just couldn't even imagine . do you get that ?

Hi Mate , I'm not sure i get that , try again ..

Yes i get that.. But i am realising that i have dodged a bullet .. what i have done today is put myself back into the relationship and have been seeing how stuffed up i was ... that is helping me ...

Hi Hope your weekend was good .. Hope you going ok ..Friend

How you holding up mate , sadly l think l'm getting very use to living a lone right now and quite settling in ., bit of a worry really.

Many thoughts of gf though and if we could've should've's

l accidentally actually , wound up reading some of our old messages the other day and that sort of put me back into our relationship too.lt mostly made this worse but there was one peace from over 12mths ago , that was still happening just before we recently split , that did really remind me of the problems.