Really struggling

[Saree_p]

Hi All,

This is the first time I have ever tried to use a forum. I simply don't know what else to do.

Atm I have a lot of memories, images, voices from past experiences resurfacing. On top of work environment that can trigger these. I simply can not take it anymore and cope. All I want to do is make everything stop.

I have been sitting with suicide for a while now, and I am tired of fighting it. I feel like I have exhausted all my options, I am wondering if anyone has any advice.

I have started the process of seeking help, however it'll take months to organise. On top of this I can't exactly share what's going on etc.

Sorry

[smallwolf]

Hey Saree,

You mentioned the ups and downs in your last post are not as extreme. That sorta sounds promising. But not all that weird. As you might know I takes ADs for my anxiety and depression issues - if I did not take medication then mood might range from 1 (low/bad) to 9 (high/good). The medication for me, and as I have explained to my psychiatrist is that 1 to goes to 3 and then 9 goes to 7. It's the price I have (?) to pay.

By the way, thanks for popping into my thread as well. I read your challenge and will respond a bit later.

Hope you have an OK weekend.

Tim

[Jojo100]

Dear Saree

You said in your last post you were going to chase up the CAT team- how did that go?

That’s good if you think the medication is working. You just need someone to manage you properly now.

How does it feel now you have moved and come home to your bf?

Take care dear friend xox

With love Jojo 🌼🐉

[Saree_p]

Afternoon Friends,

Sorry for the delayed responses, I have not been well at all since early last night. I knocked off work to have a flashback episode and became unwell (physically vomited). Came home to my lovely bf, showered, we sat and puzzled. I ended up in full blown episodes of dissociation, Vomiting all morning, couldn't keep water down. I have only really come out of it in the last couple of hours, and slept a bit.

Now gotta cram in an assignment that is due tomorrow - haven't started it.

I did chase the CAT Team, the have discharged me, but I am apparently being case managed by community mental health for this DBT group for Complex PTSD. Got to try and get back to the GP soon, just too much going on.

Apparently I creamed my medications assessment (for work) on Friday too.

Medications did get sorted after a huge conundrum, so at least not cold turkey off them.

Sorry dear friends, I really am not feeling that well. Freaked out bf completely, and nervous system is gone.

I'd better go and get this assignment down.

Sorry dear friends,

Saree

[Jojo100]

Dear Saree

Was so sorry to hear how unwell you have been- most probably due to all the emotional turmoil you have been going through. Hope you feel better soon.

Its great you have your bf there and don’t have to deal with this all by yourself.

Under the circumstances don’t you think you could get an extension for your assignment- give yourself some breathing space?

Went to the movies today and saw The Fast & The Furious (it was Wayne’s pick!) However, was nice to get out.

Good luck with your assignment and hope you feel better soon xox

Your friend Jojo 🌼

[Saree_p]

Morning Jojo,

I probably shouldve, but I managed to get it done.

Yeah, wouldn't be my choice of movie, but guess it's worth the exposure.

It's ok Jojo, feeling a bit better now. Just feel discombobulated.

Won't see bf for a couple of days now due to work. And feel extremely insecure after putting him through hell.

I don't know Jojo. I just don't know. Guess I really need to talk to someone but don't have option at this point.

Sorry,
Saree

[Jojo100]

Dear Saree

Very well done for getting your assignment done - you are amazing! Also I am glad you are feeling much better now.

How are you managing at work?

That’s good you will be starting a Trauma Program. When do you see the psychologist next as she would be a good person to talk to?

Thoughts are with you & take care.

With love your friend Jojo 🌼

[Lilly99]

Dear Saree,

I have been thinking of you a lot . And I was just wondering how you are going . How’s living with your bf? How are you feeling ? Are you ok

Lilly

[Jojo100]

Dear Saree

Just wondering how you are going as you haven’t posted in a while?

Hope you are just busy with moving, uni and work.

Look forward to hearing from you when you get the chance.

Thoughts are with you xox

With love your friend Jojo 🌼

[Lilly99]

Hi Saree,

Just letting you know Jojo and I have the boat running ready to launch if you need us . We just have to think of a name .

A name with all of our initials in it.

Thinking of you tonight dear friend .

Lilly

[Saree_p]

Sorry dear friends,

I did post a couple of days ago but it seems to have bounced back at me.

I haven't been good at all. Was trying to wait till meeting with psychologist for the trauma group stuff. Was hoping to get some help and better news. Instead seems to be worry Ville.

I do think I may have to go into hospital again dear friends. Will try and stay out, but will have to wait and see.

Sorry
Saree