Purple

[Purple_lady1]

Hi

Was recommended to start my own thread so here it is. The gist of it is I am unhappy, unmotivated and don't enjoy or look forward to anything. Am always tired and hate my life!

[Purple_lady1]

Hi

Finally some one has accepted me as a volunteer. Sometimes when I am in certain places I feel worse than I do at home. I also feel very inferior to the people around me and the lives they lead. I find myself forever asking people what they do with themselves, are they single and so on. I think I am trying to find people who are like me so I don't feel so alone in my struggles. I hope I can persevere with this volunteering. It is at an op shop and I already feel like I am being overly bossed around. Like I said, sometimes in certain environments I can feel just as lonely and worse as being home on my own. This , I think, is because I can't click with anyone and I often feel very left out. I want people to accept me. It seems that everyone else has a better personality than me. I can try and try but I can't change how I feel. It is very debilitating. I can't be a normal, happy person as there are so many things that affect how I feel in a negative way. How do I change this so that I can feel like an acceptable person?

Purple

[Purple_lady1]

Hi

How do I find the love yourself thread?

Purple

[Feeling_Lonely]

Hey Purple Lady,

Congratulations!! That is really exciting for you that you were accepted for volunteering at the op shop. Im so glad that you persevered and kept trying to find somewhere. It is good to have a purpose and a reason to get out of the house.

Are you still seeing the other group with your dogs? It can be challenging to build connections because it takes time, but it can be done. Like the volunteer work, we all just have to keep on trying 🙂

Im so proud of you for your putting yourself out there and for persisting.

[Ggrand]

Hi, Purple,

well done, with your volunteer job, congratulations, that's huge, Gold.

Just try now to relax at the op shop, the girls are probably just showing you how to do you duties, not bossing you at all, Have lunch with them and just listen to their conversation between themselves, join in when you can, but don't take over, just get to know them. You'll be fine, you need this try and stay strong for this job as it will help you with your self esteem, anxiety, etc.

I feel lonely where I'm working I've had a lot of trouble this week.... it takes time for friendships to develop, just go slowly and patiently. No we can't change who we are, but we can in time change our way of thinking, hard yes but we need to change our way of thinking to change our personality.

We can't have a great, friendly, cheery, happy personality, if we are thinking in a way that put us down, if we are thinking...I'm not good enough.. I'm sad...I'm useless....etc.. then we will come across as not a very friendly person, but if we're thinking,...I'm fun to be with, I'm happy, I'm friendly, well that's how people will see us..

Are you still taking Scooby to the fur buddies club, and how are you getting along with the other members their,

please let me know how you get on.

Kindness only,

Grandy.

[Purple_lady1]

Hi Feeling lonely

Thankyou for your words. Ggrand, I did not know you had a job. How often do you work? The furry friends club is still ongoing. I will still go when I can garner interest. The old viscous circle thing, no motivation, continual loneliness. Yes, I shall try to make a go of it at the op shop, I have already engaged in conversation with some of the women. Some of them are single like me. Could be possibilities to relieving my loneliness. We'll see. I suppose it's up to me as there is no other easy way

Purple

[Ggrand]

Hello Purple,

I work only one day a week at Vinnies,

Im pleased and so happy when you acknowledged and I will quote you if I may " I suppose it's up to me as there is no other easy way.". I think by stating those words you are beginning in accepting of your mh.

Im pleased you have started to have conversations with the other women, it will take time to work out what interests they have etc. You are making progress and I'm so proud of you.

That vicious circle I know only too well, as most of us with mh issues, can relate to. We have to try and break that circle into pieces. It good that the fur buddy club is stun on going, as it gets Scooby out and exercising,

Im so very proud of you,

Be kind to yourself,

Caring thoughts,

Grandy.

[Purple_lady1]

Hi

The one thing missing from all of this is my enjoyment. Feelings such as disconnection, inferiority, uselessness, boredom, disengagement etc. override everything else. I see the other people there all busy and totally engaged in what they're doing, seemingly happy. Is it just me? I can't seem to find enjoyment in anything I do unless it's with my son who is in the UK for reasons involving his two boys. A whole other story which involves a lot of heartache. Why can I not have passion or enjoyment from anything I do. I don't get it and this in itself leads to extra unhappiness and frustration

Purple

[Feeling_Lonely]

Hey Purple,

I feel exactly the same as you. Lonely, empty and disconnected. Everyone that knows me though sees me as this confident, outgoing person who lives a great life. That’s the thing about perception, it doesn’t reflect reality. If you passed me in the street you’d probably think the same about me, that I’ve got myself together. It is a totally different reality on the inside though.

I’ve kept these dark feelings hidden for so long but it is literally tearing me apart now. I can’t keep up the charade any longer, I am at breaking point and have so much pain and hurt in my heart and soul.

I wish I knew what the answer was, to feel better about ourselves. My counselling is helping me to an extent but I need to get better at keeping the negative thoughts at bay. I try really hard every day to do positive affirmations, meditation and to look after myself with diet and exercise. Some days it works and I feel okay, not happy, just okay like I can function. Then other days functioning is difficult, I can’t focus at work, I can’t remember stuff, I randomly cry and am filled with anxiety, worry, sadness, loneliness and isolate myself because I feel so unloved, unvalued and worthless.

My own research into psychology and spirituality tells me that first we must learn to value, love and respect ourselves, to find inner peace and happiness within ourselves and to not rely on external factors or people to fill that void. When we achieve this we will attract like minded people into our lives. Also we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others.

Whilst I don’t have all the answers, it is comforting to know we can talk freely here with people who understand. Where we can be our true selves. All I can say is that I’m here to walk this path with you.

[Purple_lady1]

Hi Feelinglonely

Wow, we are similar souls. Life is very, very hard for me. Showering is a chore. I can't be bothered half the time because my life has no purpose. I would love to find something I feel passionate about or at least find some enjoyment in. I feel like giving up. It's all just a constant struggle and all the positivity in the world doesn't seem to change how I feel underneath.

Purple

[Ggrand]

Hello Puple and feeling lonely,

Im sorry that you are both not travelling well,

Its hard for me to reply atm. I've lost a dear friend early Sunday morning , my kids never contact me, I can't stop my tears, I fell down some steps on Tuesday and I'm fairly banged up...but I still try not to give up on finding happiness. I am beginning to think that happiness is an emotional state, so we are not happy 100% of the time, just happy when we doing something that makes us happy at that time..

It just doesn't happen we have to want to make it happen or it just won't happen... There is so many different hobbies, projects, games, that you could try to do,..

Purple if I was there with you, or if any of us at bh was there with you, you would connect to us/me, you would go out with us/me..We are people just like the people in your town, in your charity shop. We are no different really..

We have to change, how we feel, it's hard, but if you want to find peace we have to search deep in our heart, mind,thoughts and find that peace, happiness.

Kindness only Grandy..