New and not sure what to do

[Pysis]

Hi um I've never done anything like this so please tell me if I need to do something differnt

I'm a 18 year old male and I've been depressed for the passed 7 months or so it all started when I had to put my horse down when hiss throat closed over it was very traumatic for me and he was the second horse I'd put down in a period of three months. Then my friend was having issues with work so I was trying to support her and be there for her just checking in on her and making sure she was ok she was suffering bulling really badly in the work place. While I was trying to be there for her I got very sick with a stomach bug and was sick for over a month I lost 17kg over that period of time and ended up in hospital 3 times for a period of over a week while I was in hospital I was still helping my friend. Once I got out of hospital my friend was really strugling so I made an extra effort to help her and that's when I got really bad myself. I stated to remember repressed memories from my childhood of things my obusive father had done and stuff from me being at school and being severely bullied. up until 2 weeks ago I was coping alright but then my boss made me work on a puppet show that she was making and I wasn't getting paid for it it has been a difficult situation becuase she is also a friend and she has no idea that I have been struggling with my mental health at all. I have ended up feeling very used by my boss as I put in 7 days free work for her and missed out on seeing my grandparents who kind of replaced my dad in someways growing up and she had my camera for over a month. She has slowly demanded more from me as time has gone on and I ended up having to preform in front of people which I wasn't really up for and the whole situation has cuased me to end up where I was before in terms of my depression. I don't know why but when I get really depressed like I am I have panic attacks and end up messaging my friend who is the only person I've ever been able to talk to. She has a new job now though and is working all the time and me messaging her is causing her stress and I don't want to do that to her and she also has kids that's she's trying to be there for. I don't know how to stop myself messaging her when I have my panic attacks becuase at the moment it's the only thing that helps it makes me feel like I'm not alone. I guess what I want to ask is dose anyone have any suggestions as to what to do I'm in a remote town so getting proffesonal help is difficult.

[startingnew]

It hasnt left me yet Nath. Ive got to get it removed and hopefully thatll be It because otherwise it means more treatment and more surguries. I know Ive got the support here, thats whats keeping me abit more level headed atm.


Oh good grief, I wonder if shes talking about someone else, the bloody idiot. Try not to worry about it. As you said you werent enjoying it and werent happy. To new beginnings.
Hopefully those ones your more interested in work out for you.

[Pysis]

Yeah I meant the results sorry I'm pretty tierd.

yep to new beginnings hopefully for both me and you hey?

thanks star

thinking of you

Nath

[startingnew]

lets hope so

im sure we will get through whatever obstacles there may be, just have to take it day by day

no worries, thanks for being there for me too

xoxox

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Nath,

Being my typical Dazed & Confused self, I'm once again about 10 conversations behind...

On a more serious note, I'm glad that your online dating seems to be going well. I think it's great that it has been a positive experience so far and it's probably a nice confidence boost too.

Anyway, I'm sending caring and warm vibes your way.

Pepper xo

[Cesca1557]

hey nath,

as much as its frustrating that you lost the job, i think it will be very beneficial for you! it doenst sound like she treated you with any respect at all so it is good to be removed from that situation even if it didnt happen in the way you would have liked it to happen in.
also ive read some of the comments about the online dating, glad to hear its going well! it made me smile to see that 🙂

hope you have a nice rest of the night, tomorrow is a new day

thinking of you

[Cesca1557]

hey m,
exactly! my main thread is: Taking antidepressents for the first time tomorrow morning.
yea i definitely agree with the crazy emotions thing, hoping its just my body adjusting to the neurological changes that are occurring (just had a pharmacology lecture on ADs so have learnt in detail everything that occurs which is pretty cool to think about). I dont think they are helping much overall, but they have helped me to think more positively and i am actually hopefully for the future which i havent been in a long time which is definitely a good thing

sending love and hugs

[Pysis]

Hi pepper

haha, you always make me smile.😃

Yeah im glad I haven't just completely fallen on my face with this wich I half expected to. Yeah it's kind of made me feel a little better about my self, maybe I'm not as ugly as I thought I was, just wierd, haha.

thanks pepper, hope your ok?

Nath

[Pysis]

Hi C

yeah it's kind of a double edged sword I've lost a family friend but she was becoming very toxic and before I did the show for her I was getting better but all of this has set me back again. I've never been fired before so it's a really wierd feeling anyway I'm thinking of applying for a job at the local camel dairy when I get back from my trip their looking for farm hands.

thanks C yeah it's been really strange I honestly didn't think I would get anyone even looking at me but yeah I have had a fair few so far. I'm glad your ads are helping a little that's cool you had a lecture on them.😃

Hope your ok.

sending hugs and love

Nath

[swtpotato]

Hey nath,

quick post on my study break --

(I have to block this page when studying now it's a bit addicting aha)

How are you going today? Enjoying the sunshine?

That's great that you already have a job to apply for next. Change is good, and it sounds like getting fired (which really sucks) also gives you the choice to create a new more positive environment for yourself.

I doubt it will affect your reputation. You are a good worker, you've got connections, this is just one person's bad opinion on 'enthusiasm'. Not even about your work ethic or skills or anything, you'll be okay.

I'm glad you've got all of those responses, I love hearing about it. Are you nervous? I think tinder will be a really good platform to meet people, especially in the country.

Hope your week away is relaxing.

m

[Pysis]

Hi m

yeah good thanks I went to the Physio about my hip and he's really happy with it so that's good. Oh yeah loving the sun, I hate winter.

yeah I've already got 4 other jobs but I'm kind of looking for something a bit more consistent now and I reacon working at a camel dairy would be cool.

thanks m yeah I really hope it doesn't affect me at all, the problem is some of the other people I work for are friends with her so it could affect my roustabouting job a bit but hopefully it won't, they all know me and the know I work bloody hard so that should be enough hopefully.

Haha, yeah I'm nervous, I've never done anything like this it's really unlike me, I mean I can handle crocs, snakes, Eagles and owls but girls they scare me, haha. But yeah there seems to be some country chicks on here so that's good and they are the people that seem interested in me so that's good.

haha, yeah I do to but you never no I could end up on the news for murder yet, haha. dads coming and my brothers are in my car so it could be interesting.

thanks m

hows your day been?

sending love and hugs

Nath