My son is in jail and I can’t stop crying

[bron198111]

my son was arrested on the 20th dec 22 and was released on the 10th march 23 his then gf called the police on him she was trying to stab him and he grabbed her arms to restrain her a few months prior the police were called to an argument at my house where me and my son and other kids live they ended up doing an ivo which was never ever served on him he was done with 5 counts of breaching his ivo at his own house where she kept coming despite me continuously telling her to leave even a couple of times reported her to police stating this is his house and she won’t stay away and with ivo I always thought no contact goes both ways she tried to get the avo revoked whilst in jail and she is pregnant with his kid he was out 3 weeks and didn’t get angry he was the happiest he had been in years and getting along so well with everyone but this girl kept messaging the day he got out she told me to bring him there to get his things we didn’t go every day she is still messaging asking to borrow money etc or saying she needs help

he still didn’t then her and her bf started messaging him saying she is having a family with some one else thanks for giving me a baby and then he replied and not long after he was arrested and sent back to jail he’s been there for a week now and doesn’t go to court until the 3rd of may for a plea I was nearly beaten to death by a man and he got 9 months and my son is the one who helps me through my anxiety and depression he seen what we went through so he has been totally against hurting a woman ever anyway he is only 18 and he calls me crying because he is worried about me and wants to come home he has never raised a hand to hit her only grabbed her wrists to stop her punching the crap out of him I have cried a river I don’t no wat to do anyone have advice for 

[mmMekitty]

Hello Bron198111 & welcome to the forums

I doubt I will have much useful advice except to eithr block the old girlfriend's phone number, & not replying if she contacts by any other method. Emails from her you can mark her email address as spam or junk & simply delete them without opening them.

Otherwise changing your sons' & your contact details is the other way stop such  attempts to contact him or you

I'm awfully sorry to hear there have been children witnessing any of the arguements. & that his ex gf is going to have his baby. It's sad she would use that fact to hurt him.

At 18 he is still so young, yet considered an adult. There is so much of his life ahead, I think the best thing for you to do is to provide a safe & stable place for him to come home to when he is able to.

I wonder if you've considered getting some help for yourself, to address the effects (the anxiety & depression you spoke of) of the violence against you - the whole incident. You can start with a long chat with your GP & ask if you can have a Mental Health Care Plan so you can talk to someone more about it & how to deal with the thoughts & feelings you are experiencing. I'm suggesting this because I suspect you don't want to have your son having to help you through such difficult things.

I trust other BB members will post here soon, with better ideas than I have.

In the meantime, explore the website. there is lots of information to be found here. & talk here as much or as little as you like. You will always be welcome.

Hugzies

mmMekitty