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54, care for my mum (85) no friends, and the few I have don't want to listen to Me. All I get is "it will pass", your doing great! . No one has the time to listen without judgement. Yes I often wish I wasn't around. I take risk with medication and alcohol, but still wake up in the morning. I guess bc I can't do this to my mum


I try and keep myself busy, however injuries from the ADF has limitations. I've stopped eating as im no longer hungry, dont even think about food. I've got my ph on DND as im not interacting with anyone. Yes I do see my Dr and shrink frequently and to no avail to be honest. I'm not even sure if this will even work. I've got family friends passing away around me and I dont get a chance to grieve. They say put your mum into respite, but my pride won't allow that. I have no family members to rely upon, as they are dealing with there own issue's.

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Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Caring for elderly parents is a bit like walking a tightrope. On the one side you care for your loved one, but in order to maintain balance you must equally care for yourself. It doesn't make the task any lighter but it allows you to carry on the journey.

I found caring for my father all consuming so offsetting this with suitably geared support groups - 1) for his social engagement and change of scenery, and 2) so I could accomplish tasks and retain some semblance of a normal life, helped navigate this demanding yet ultimately rewarding pursuit.

For my peace of mind, I had planned for the time when I could no longer cope (as elderly parents don't tend to improve over time) arranging support services in transition and alternatives once my capacity was exceeded. Just knowing this was an option gave me the confidence to see it through. I guess it was like having a safety net below me.

I hope you shall find some support and comfort here.