Just want to Shout out

[Guest_1055]

I am just so tired, and I don't think I can try anymore. All I want to do is curl up tight and cry and cry. I am sick of this, and I even feel cross, as I said that. I can't do this, I just can't. And I don't think I want to anymore. I am not asking for any advice really and I am aware of the phone numbers and such., etc. But I just want to shout and shout out loud and say that I am plain sick of this. I am tired of struggling to get to where ever it is that I am going. I don't think I am making any sense either. So since I am unable to shout out in real life at the moment. I hope it is okay with whoever who reads this that I am virtually going to shout out now. I also feel like punching out, because it is just too much. It's too much.

I HATE THIS, JUST HATE IT. I AM TIRED OF FAILING AND FAILING. I JUST WANT TO GO.

[Guest_1055]

I am with you Steph.

[Guest_9809]

Sorry Shell I didnt get back sooner, but I've been hard at work and not long home.

I hope you are feeling a little better than you were earlier?

Anyway I will touch base with you again tomorrow if I get the chance.

Here's a hug for you in the meantime. Please take care.

T xx

[Guest_1055]

This is where I am, looking around all I see is solid circle of old wet stones. They are up very high. It is musty smelling, with not much fresh air. Just too tired to call out anymore. I don't think I even care. There is a struggling fern growing out from the crack in the stone. It is not very nice in here, because I like fresh air. My head feels heavy and doesn't want to hold up. The clothes on me are dirty from being in here and trying to get out. It is a well, a tall looking lot of stones that just goes up and up. Just sitting here with my knees bend up touching my head. Now thoughts of worrying others fill me. I don't want others to hurt or worry. But I am tired, too tired.

[Guest_1055]

I know I have imagination, this is where I am. See I even feel thirsty, and see just a tiny trickle of water coming from the crack near the fern. There is a bit of green moss , no I didn't notice it before.

[Guest_1055]

I feel my head lift up a little from from folded up knees. I now see a little bit of beautiful blue, that says fresh sunny clean air. But to be honest, I am too tired to try anymore. Tired to try and get there again. Only to be pierced in the heart once again. It doesn't feel piercing anymore just a dull ache lingers on. The ache from a broken heart. Tears have gone on and on and only stopped for a while whilst my eyes watched a movie and then my body felt the rain pouring down on me. But I still didn't feel much real. I am just existing in my imagination.

[Croix]

Dear Shell,

This is Croix, the person you thanked for saying nice things - they were quite true incidentally , you are a lovely person.

I'm worried about you. I do not know if you are in a real well, or in one in your imagination.

Either way I think it is time you had a small spot of warmth from a caring human voice to be with you for a while. Beat the bleak, the exhaustion, the unreal feeling.

If it was me I'd ring our Help Line on 1300 22 4636 and have a talk. I'd do it right now.

Don't worry about taking up peoples' time, or not being important enough, just ring, it is expected, it is there for you Shell.

All your friends want you out of that dark place.

Croix

[Guest_9809]

Oh Shell. I hate seeing you suffering like this, and I am feeling very concerned for you right now.

Please take the very sound and sensible advice of Croix and give the help line a call .... please.

You appear to be crying out for help, and you need and deserve to get it. There is little we can do here, other than to offer our moral support and understanding. You definitely have that. But as far as more practical help, we are simply not able to provide it to you. Please seek help, either by calling a help line, or booking an urgent appointment with your GP.

We all want you back out of that dark place you currently find yourself in.

Love to you.

Taurus xx

[Guest_1055]

I don't have many words, but I read the words of you both Croix and Taurus. And they have bought some sort of comfort me.

Just a grateful thank you.

[Croix]

Dear Shell~

The gratitude flows both ways, dear Shell. I'm thankful you summoned up energy to reply - sets my heart closer to ease.

And when you think about it all the people you have consciously helped here, and those you have helped quite unknowing just by you gentle presence, all will be grateful for your brief words too.

Think gentle thoughts and memories, you too remind me of Elsie in the picture.

Croix

[Kazzl]

Hiya Shell hun - we haven't chatted for far too long. I see you're having a rough patch possum. Has something happened or just life in general getting on top of you?

I'd love to sit and chat for a bit if you want. Share a cuppa? Let me make you one - what would you like?

Hey I thought of you the other day when I saw some pink cardboard hearts pinned up in an office - I remembered how you did that for newcomers in the cafe. You always have a way of making people feel welcome and comfortable. (Not to mention the massages!).

Cheers to you lovely lady.

Kaz

xxx