It's coming back

[RunGirl]

Hi....this is my first post. I've always fought the black dog. Recently I beat a plethora hurdles and bad situations.....near death experience, two months in hospital, 7 surgeries, prescription pill addiction, isolation living overseas, increasingly abusive relationship, PTSD. I RAN, I resettled in Aus, i got work, I found myself in love again...I was happy and energetic. But It's coming back. I read somewhere when you don't want to get out of bed, you know you're getting bad again. I have a beautiful new partner. I'm just so tired all the time. I've put on weight which he likes but I can't forget the words of disgust from my ex when I wasn't stick thin. I need some perspective and support guys

[Croix]

Dear RunGirl~

Having a doctor disagree on meds is a right pain, and I can see how you would worry about going off a regular regime.

Did the doctor give reason for this? Normally they are pretty mindful of the effects of sudden cessation, however sometimes they feel there are overriding concerns such as the possibility of addiction. Has this doctor prescribed them for you in the past?

Perhaps when you are able to get a concrete starting point with a psychiatrist you might be able to discuss interim possibilities with your doctor.

On the other worry you have, that of pushing away your partner if depression returns. I think it is a question of now, while you are still in a somewhat better condition you have a discussion with him and say what you expect to happen and that it will not be you , just the illness manifesting itself.

You may also be able to give suggestions on what is the best way to react, perhaps to simply listen and be there, not try too hard to help.

I have found this approach has worked quite well for my partner who is quite confident of my love and is prepared to give some space without coming across as uncaring.

I guess the really good thing to come out of your recent posts is having such a supportive person in your life

Croix

[RunGirl]

Hi Croix

Yes the clinic has prescribed the meds for me in the past and it has been 2 months since I requested sleeping meds (30 per pack) so it isn't as if I have over used them. The doctor I saw was new to the practice and I hadn't met her before. She prescribed the meds then when I went to the nearby chemist, they said she had called them and cancelled the script as she had changed her mind and wanted a new psychiatrist reference before prescribing anything. Blunt cut off of meds that I need and am NOT addicted to (I know what addiction feels like). She has cut off my panic attack meds without referring me to anyone for help (luckily I already have a psychologist who is going to arrange a referral but who knows how long til I score an appointment) and triggered a major panic attack in doing so. Crazy.....

[Croix]

Dear RunGirl~

I'm sorry to hear that. Does not strike me as the most considerate or professional of actions. If it was me I'd seek a second opinion.

Let me stress I mean just that, I'd lay the whole incident out together with your circumstances, invite the second practitioner to consult with the first and see what happens. I would ensure there was no possibility of the action being seen as 'doctor hopping'. I would probably go so far as to write a letter.

As we cannot mention specific medications on this Forum we are not really able to discuss the possibility of withdrawal symptoms.

Do you think this might be a reasonable approach?

Croix

[BballJ]

Hi RunGirl,

Croix hit the nail square on the head, you may need to seek a second opinion from another doctor and speak about everything and how it is affecting you. It sounds like the doctor is doing their due diligence which you can't really fault them for as they are just doing their job but seeking another professional opinion couldn't hurt either.

On your other concern about scaring your partner away, it sounds like this person has literally been through thick and thin with you, it is quite amazing actually and I cannot see how he would grow tired of you, sounds like he really does love you and wants the best for you.

My best,

Jay

[RunGirl]

Just an update....I checked with the doctor my psychologist recommended for getting a referral to a psychiatrist who would be a good match for me. He saw no reason why I shouldn't get the meds I needed and prescribed me a month's worth. crisis averted for now. Thanks everyone, your continued support is invaluable.

[Croix]

Dear RunGirl~

It's good to hear you were able to sort the meds out.

I guess the other bonus is you may have found a more understanding GP - which is a huge asset. Having a helpful psychologist too sounds as if you are building up a supportive medical team.

Croix

[RunGirl]

thanks Croix, i am really trying. I don't want to be a "victim", i want to be a survivor. These days though just getting out of bed is a challenge and I have the loveliest man to get up to. It doesn't make sense. I slept most of his birthday away on the weekend but I did do myself proud making him a lovely birthday cake and a delicious dinner. I also got him a nice gift. don't think he needed more I just felt I let him down on his special day. I'm trying so hard but there are so many dead ends, so many quacks out there....I need the good team NOW

[Croix]

Dear RunGirl~

You sound better, and have the judgment and determination to find that good team and keep persevering with all the things you want to overcome.

The cake, meal and gift wold have meant so much - to both of you. it is not sprint to getting better, it is lots of small victories adding up.

You are getting there.

Croix

[BballJ]

Hi RunGirl,

Croix is 100% correct, it is not a sprint to get better, it is a lot of small steps. We all want results to feel better right away but it does take time and let's focus on the positive, yes you may have slept most of the weekend away but you still made him a cake and a great dinner for which he would of been most appreciative.

My best,

Jay

[RunGirl]

Thank you so much for staying with me, Croix and Jay. You've really been practically and emotionally helpful. Please hang in there with me for a bit longer.....thank you so much. The dinner was a big thing as I am phobic about cooking thanks to the derogatory responses from my last two exes....one couldn't abide anything but Mother's cooking and the other was to be honest a cook worthy of taking on any celebrity chef you might like to name. He was really good and didn't hesitate to critique my food....badly. When I was in the kitchen his tension level was so high I usually just said "you do it" and let him take over. But my meal was yummy. Also my partner too the cake to work and I got a little note back from one of the girls saying "thanks so much, please make this for us again!"