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Im new. Unsure how to start.

Sapphire_
Community Member
Hello. Im new. I dont really know where to start. My heart is pounding, Im so anxious to be on here. Im not sure if its the right thing to do. I've never spoken to anyone about how i feel or anything. Even my husband. I just cant. I dont really know what i am supposes to do. I feel so alone and lost.
550 Replies 550

Sounding good Sapphire

They say walkings good for back pain, when I was in hospital with it I thought easy to say love ☺ maybe you could do short ones & build up, do you do anything for core strength? I walk hills physio said it'll be helping & is cause last out was hard but not excruciating all time like others but woe had several moments of agony

Hopefully youre getting better sleep now, you're overall sounding brighter which is great

Tc

Thanks lovelies.

Im getting about 4 hours sleep and back to waking at 4 am each morning. I wake as though ive not slept at all and feel as though ive had nightmares but cant seem to remember what they were about. Wake up all hot, sweaty and panicked. Hubby is concerned because i do recklss and stupid things when ive not had much sleep. I guess he thinks im gonna go down again. Who knows.

Ive just been walking around my front yard since im too afraid too leave my home. Its not much but its something i guess.

Ive lost all interest in everything. My garden is dying because i cant be bothered with it anymore. My house is disgusting because i cant be bothered. My book is still untouched because i cant concentrate, end up thinking about past. I just feel meh!! Life has no purpose to me anymore. So i cant be bothered with it.

Im just having a bleh sort of day i guess.

Love to you all xx

Afternoon Sapphire and everyone


Saphhire- those dreams youve been having. The ones were your sweaty and anxious when you wake but you dont know why- they are called night terrors. These are basically nightmares in the subconscious memory. Somehwere in the background-out of reach of your thoughts- is having nihgtmares. Thats why you cant remember them but your body is reacting the same way as a nihgtmare. I recently went through this and sometimes still do. With mine I was having the same signs as you, as well as waking up and literally my whole bed Is all over the place, the sheets werent on blankets on the floor pillows everywhere but under my head suggesting a violent sleep. Some people scream during these. I suggest taking a look at night terrors. The heaps of info on the net about them.

With the sleep, I suggest taking a look into some things that you can do to better your sleep. Sometimes meditation before bed helps, when I go to bed I actually lay down comfortably and then do it with my eyes closed that way if I fall asleep thats a good thing. Sometimes an essence helps too with essential oils. Having a nice hot shower or warm bath, warm milk or some chamomile tea might help as well. All sorts of things, it seems I can suggest quite a lot but they dont always work. A lot of things done help me except sleeping tablets but I hope something helps you.
Any walk is a good walk. A walk in the garden sounds nice, maybe if you have a botanical garden or pond or somewhere scenic it could help to go there in stead of in town.


If it helps I havent cleaned my house either and my poor pop has been doing more than me and im suppose to be the carer. Aim for small things. Set yourself a goal for the day whether it be go for a walk, or clean one specific room at a time. It all adds up.

also these are your warning signs that your starting to go down, i can recognise them. this is your pattern starting to happen where you pick up and have a few good days or however many but your signs are less sleep, becoming more reckless and having more of the meh feeling. nows the time to increase your self care, keep in contact with your supports and keep talking.

If its hot where you are it could also be making you meh, same as the cold.wet and rainy weather.

Darl sleep deprivation they used/use as torture, its mentally draining makes our lives harder to cope with & weakens us. I think nightmares are another stress release, glad you're doing little walks that gets you out of your head for short periods of time

Try any form of distraction, to give your head a rest from pain even temporarily beats constant haunting thoughts. Could try having pen & paper see what comes out, can be good stress release

Difficult but if you try pushing through the darkness doing small things maybe catch a few weeds each day sounds like you enjoy gardening usually & as Starts said just small area daily in house every movement is distrac tion which is needed

You've come up before & started too again, I believe you can rise above, hard to believe when you feel like this but the strengths in you

Thanks for daisies on bouquet that was really sweet 😙

Hold on girl you can make it

startingnew
Community Member

hey Saph

wishing you luck in all your appointments this week, your in my thoughts xoxo

Im sorry i havent replied to your posts. I do appreciate you taking time to reply to me. I just dont have the strength to reply. I just am in a really bad place. I cant even get my thoughts to stop. Everything is such an effort and im just so tired of it all.

I dont even want to go to my appointment today. I promised everyone i would but i just dont think i can. Hubby will force me to go and take me himself no doubt. I just dont see how it will help. Im beyond help.

startingnew
Community Member
Please go to your appointment 💜 i know you dont want to but these are the times you need more support and they can give you that. .. if youll let them....

Hi Sapphire,

You, me and everyone has good points. So lets try this together. For the next 21 day lets repeat over and over, 'I am a good person.' Do this even when your mind is telling you otherwise. Believe me ..... it works. How do I know that it works? Because I do this all the time.

Sapphire I know it seems impossible & that its not going to change but it can hun.

It has to come from within you darl, you know we're here for you that won't change but you need to reach out & accept help, I really get it, its so hard to open up but its how you can make change. Please go to the appointment for your sake, this is too much to take on alone. These people are highly trained & experienced.

You were at a wicked place before when we met & you got back up you can again.

You've gone through the hard yards with your op so you've got the weight loss to look forward to & feeling better in yourself, I know there's hiccups atm & all going well they'll get ironed out in time.

You started doing things in small steps, walking dog for short periods which is great & you were recently starting to pick back up,believe darl you can get through. We do