I just don't know anymore

[chrissy1]

I have been reading many threads, which makes me feel not so alone. I've had depression for 30 yrs. the last 5yrs have been chronic, that's why I'm in a nursing home.( no where else to go) I could not look after myself anymore. I have lost (commission unit)my unit my car and my baby dog. After many shock treatments, I am on medication which is keeping stable. I just don't have a life anymore. So alone. (Have lost my friends as I was out of action. I'm sure u guys can relate. I struggle with society that they just don't get it, what do we have to do to let them know this is REAL.( as if one could pretend with this illness) I don't think so!!! I really don't have a life

anymore. Being in a nursing home does not help cause when I leave my room I see so many older people around. It does not help my depression at all. That's all for now.thank you for ur time, looking forward to some replies.

my thread name is chrissy1 which some of you may have seen.

chrissy1

[Tess2]

Hello Chrissy 1,

i am new to these forums and have been seeing your kind repiles to others and read some of your posts. I too have had depression for a very long time, since my early 20’s and am now in my 60’s. It has not been severe all that time but i have had very bad bouts of it. The most recent over the last coup,e of months. What is new to me is the exteme anxiety that i now have as well. Some days i can barely function.

I really empathasise with you being ina nursing home. That must be discouraging and depressing in itself. You are really strong to be able to adjust to that.

It is really good that you have reached out here and found people who can support you in this way. I feel you need to get out of there for activities, not necessarily activities provided with the oldies but others out in the community. Is there someone there who could help connect you with outside groups. Not all cost money. I will read through your thread and see if I can suggest anything better. I understand that you are in Melbourne. I love Melbourne, there are lots of streets I could sit on there and just enjoy the passing parade for a few hours over a coffee or tea.

I think of you often. Tess

[Birdy77]

Hello Chrissy 😊

What a lovely group of friends you have here 🌞

Yes sorry, i have not posted on the forums for a few days, i had a little rest, but I am back now.

Like stormcloudz, I don't have a personal thread, so it's good that we can chat here together.

I can understand you feeling reluctant to socialise with the other residents there, it must be very challenging, being so much younger ... I can understand it would feel depressing. That is why I am hoping you can get connected with a visitor closer to your age, either through the neighbourhood centre, or maybe the Recreational Officer at the home can help to connect you with someone in the outside community? There are lots of people on Centrelink who need to do voluntary work, I am sure there would be somebody out there who could take you out and about, go to a film perhaps, or just for a coffee in the sunshine?

When you get your nails done, does the nail do-er come to you or do you go out to a salon?

Take care Chrissy,

🌻birdy

[stormcloudz]

Hi Chrissy

I know the days are often lonely for you, so I am going to do what Demonblaster does on her thread, and send you some magical company. Maybe a fuzzy teddy bear?

On the weekend I had breakfast with a friend, that was nice. Like you, I can find socialising tiring, but with people I know it's OK. I had coffee and a fancy sandwich at a cafe.

Are you a coffee or a tea fan? I like either, as long as it's strong! Dont worry, I don't have too much caffeine, I know it's bad for sleep and anxiety. But a little is OK : )

[Ggrand]

Hello lovely Chrissy,

Yes I did go to darts 🎯, I enjoy playing the game, but most of the ladies are uppities...They have lived in the town for all their lives and I get the feeling they think they own the town...I'm trying really hard to ignore them, but when you hear them talk to each other and your excluded, it hurts..

Thats okay if you don't want to go out with the others, that's your decision, do you go outside and have a cup of tea/coffee in the little garden at all, and listen to the birds..just to get a little sunshine on you..I read somewhere that we need 12minutes of sunshine a day to keep healthy and the suns rays actually makes it easier to sleep...

How is your beautiful daughter and your grandchildren?

I hope your a little better then yesterday...I think this beautiful bunch of flowers 🌺 💐🌾..will make your room look and smell nice..

Kind thoughts,

Grandy....Karen..

[chrissy1]

HelloStormcloudz,

how is it going? I’m mainly a coffee girl, I don’t like strong coffee. Nice to hear you went out for coffee, I used to do that too. Wondering what kind of work do u do? Also do u have family around you. Do u work full or parties?

it was nice my daughter and I had our nails done and had lunch out too. Wednesday’s it’s roast day ucky, so it’s good when I can get out. My nail colour is grey, different. The shops are 5 min walk away. I still struggle to get there, but today was good.

Thats all for now, take care❤️

chrissy1

[chrissy1]

Hello Birdy77

thank u for ur return post, so great to hear from u and that u are okay. What have u been up too lately.?

i get my nails done at the shopping centre that’s 5 min walk. Also I have had my name down forever for a volunteer, they just don’t get. I need some one around my age, abit younger is okay. I have had two but they were way too young unfortunately.

Do u work part or full time? Do u have family around you? cant think of much to say, sorry

take care❤️

chrissy1

[stormcloudz]

Hi Chrissy

Grey is very interesting! How does it look? Sophisticated, I imagine.

That's really nice that your daughter visited and that you went out for lunch. What did you have?? Is Wednesdays roast day where you live - if you don't like it, send it my way, I like a roast : )

Well done getting to the shops by the way, it's an accomplishment getting out of bed some days, so I understand why you don't always get there. You get a smiley stamp and a star for making it today! I'm glad today was a bit better. How does it rate on your 1 to 10 scale?

I work part-time, in an office. I had a bit of a strained day at work, but that's OK, tomorrow is another day.

OK, time to organise dinner!

[Guest8901]

Dear Chrissy,

Its really nice to see the amount of support you are now receiving here on your thread. You deserve it!

Sorry to hear that having your name down for a volunteer to visit you has not succeeded in finding the 'perfect fit'. Do you think perhaps that having someone, though not your ideal fit, is better than not having anyone at all? We are not talking about a life partner or anything. Merely someone who you can have a sensible conversation with and someone who would be happy to take you out shopping or to a coffee shop occasionally. And maybe escort you to the nail place to get your nails done if your daughter is unable to go with you. Of course this is obviously your choice.

How are you today anyway? I'm battling really bad anxiety right now, so have not been much use to anyone around here lately. I'

I'm seeing my clinical psychologist this afternoon. In the long term it will help, but short term it usually means I take a bit of a hit emotionally. But I will get over it in time.

I love the sound of your grey nails. I can picture them more as silver than grey however. They sound elegant. Do you really not like roasts? One of my favourite meals is a pork roast with light crunchy crackling. Yum. What is your favourite type of food, if you have one?

Okay I must go, time to give my husband his morning injections and medications. Will talk again soon.

Amanda

[chrissy1]

chrissy1

To Tess2

So nice to hear from u. Sorry it took so long, I nearly missed ur post, just as well I went backwards, I then found u. Not much happening at present. It’s hard to write sometimes as I answer other threads, therefore coming up with new stuff is hard some times

i really appreciate ur effort. Age wise we are nearly the same. Do u have ur own thread? I have seen u around.

Take care💕

chrissy1

[chrissy1]

Hello Mandy

nice to hear from u. I have had my name down for quite some time, they just don’t get it, how desperate I am. Well their roasts are terrible, the potatoes and meat are steamed, the meat taste like cardboard, and the potatoes are soft, how can they call that a roast!, there are about 5 meals I don’t mind, the best being Parma, I so look forward to that. 5meals a fort night. How is ur anxiety, going? I do hope it’s better. Have u been up to much?

Take care💕

chrissy1