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I just don't know anymore
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I have been reading many threads, which makes me feel not so alone. I've had depression for 30 yrs. the last 5yrs have been chronic, that's why I'm in a nursing home.( no where else to go) I could not look after myself anymore. I have lost (commission unit)my unit my car and my baby dog. After many shock treatments, I am on medication which is keeping stable. I just don't have a life anymore. So alone. (Have lost my friends as I was out of action. I'm sure u guys can relate. I struggle with society that they just don't get it, what do we have to do to let them know this is REAL.( as if one could pretend with this illness) I don't think so!!! I really don't have a life
anymore. Being in a nursing home does not help cause when I leave my room I see so many older people around. It does not help my depression at all. That's all for now.thank you for ur time, looking forward to some replies.
my thread name is chrissy1 which some of you may have seen.
chrissy1
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Hello Chrissy,
I was curious to see how you are feeling. I haven't heard from you for a while now..I hope you are doing okay..
Im sorry it's been a while since I last posted on your thread, it just that I've been having such a hard time with my Mental Health.. geez does it ever get better...
How are you going hun? Is Rachel doing okay,
The cooler weather is on its way now,as well as back to normal hours..yay I prefer both the cooler weather and darker earlier, means I can go to bed earlier and try to sleep..
I hope you are doing okay,...
Kindness,
Karen..
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Hello Chrissy,
I was so pleased to see you at the bb cafe, it's a good place to meet people, just pop in anytime and say hello and have a chat.. Chrissy take a look around the forums and pop into any thread you like to and have a chat to those people, we are all friendly and like to meet new people,
i hope you are doing okay.. thinking of you and wishing you peace..
kind thoughts.
Grandy....Karen
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Hello Chrissy,
i was pleased to see you visit the bb cafe today, well done.
How have you been feeling, and your daughter and grandchildren, I hope you are all feeling okay.
looking forward to hearing from you,
Grandy....Karen
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Hi Karen
nice to here from you. It’s so nice to be able connect to someone. I see u around a lot. You are so brave. I’m not much better, but trying to keep my head up.
my daughter has had to go to work. Her ex is dragging the house settlement. It’s such a worry, as she really is not up to working, but no choice. ThereforeI don’t see her during the week. I miss her terribly. She is all I have.
where are you up too, I hope u are getting a little better. It’s so hard I know. I feel those of us are worse who are on their own, do struggle more as we don’t have any distractions, nothing to to break up our days. It’s so good having people to talk to at BB. The distraction helps a lot, as you would know, you are very popular and so very kind.
take care x
chrissy1
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Hello Dear Chrissy,
Thank you for your kind words, they went straight to my heart,you are also a very caring and kind person.
Im sorry your daughter has to work and that's stopping her visits with you, which I agree is very sad. I hope Rachel will be okay and the settlement is done quickly for her..
I love helping people here on BB, it's my main distraction and if I can help even one person get on top of their depression I feel a little better towards myself.
Yes being alone is very hard, because I have no one to talk to, especially when I'm feeling so down and sad, it's hard to manage thesevtimes on our own, that's the good parts of these forums, I have so many lovely friends here that will listen to me and help pick me up..you are one of them..Thank you for being here..
I noticed you in the cafe the other day,mi was so happy you ventured out and are looking around the forums, I'm sure there are a lot of people who you will be able to help as well.
Youbtake care of yourself Chrissy, and I'm looking forward to hearing from you again..Sending some love and carebyour way..💜🤗.
Kind and peaceful thoughts,
Karen.
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To chrissy1
hi Karen, thanks for ur reply. How are ur walks going any luck hope so, I know it’s so hard, I have the same problem. Still struggle to get up, what on earth for.??? I know that’s not good but I do still try. It’s Saturday 12.45 pm, it’s quite warm in Melbourne. Rachel said she may see me, I do hope so. I’m trying to find a hobby?. I’m so not interested in anything. What can one do?As I say on my thread just don’t know anymore
Im hoping Mandy is travelling okay,( no news at present)
take care x
chrissy1
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Dear Chrissy, my apologies that I have not visited you in some time. But I'm here now, and have continued to read your thread as replies are posted.
Yes, in answer to your comment 2 days ago, I am travelling reasonably well. Trying to shake off this blasted cold. But I will get there.
As for hubby, he is back home from hospital now and is making slow progress. But he continues to need lots of care. But he too should soon be back to his normal self. Not cured of his terminal illness, but at least over the side effects of the trial treatment he has been receiving for it.
I need to start doing some walks as well, but not right now. I just do not have any energy at present to do anything more than the very basics of self care and hubby care.
I see that the weather is still warm in Melbourne. Here we are getting (finally) some cooler autumn type weather, with showers and thunderstorms around. So finally ... some much needed rain. And I do love the cooler nights.
Oh yes, I know what you mean about having to force yourself up out of bed each day. The last month I have been doing so because I had to get to the hospital each morning by 8am. Now that hubby is home, it would be so nice to just lay in bed for a while. But unfortunately hubby is in a hospital routine and is waking early, so I have to as well. Really all I want to do is snuggle up under a light quilt with my little dog Charli and sleep the day away.
Hobbies? Are there any hobbies that you used to do, but have since lost interest in? Perhaps you could resurrect some old interests. I have just started to take up art - drawing more specifically. I have discovered that I'm actually not too bad at it. Surprise surprise. Not something I've ever really done before, even in school. I would love to be able to play a musical instrument, but really dont have any talent at that whatsoever. I know a lot of nursing homes have eukelele lessons and groups, is that something which interests you? What about crafty things?
Now that I am no longer working (which I really miss) I am starting to feel that I am going to need something to do as well. So like I mentioned, I would like to do some art. But I have also made some enquiries about doing some local voluntary work in the aged care sector. I have been told that there are opportunities to go into nursing homes to help out the activity officers there. I would like that, so will follow up further on that option.
Did Rachel visit on the weekend?
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Hi Mandy
thanks for ur reply, always so nice to hear from u. I haven’t been up to much lately. I did get to the shops (5mins away) and had my nails done. I get them done once a month. It’s called sns, some new product, and they last for a month, it does make u feel a bit better. How is ur cold.? I do hope ur better, u have enough on ur plate. Hopefully things are a little easier for u now. How is hubby going? I do hope u are looking after ur self.
Im looking forward to the cooler weather, how about u?
Im here if u want to chat.
take care x
chrissy1
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Hello Dearest Chrissy,
Thank you for visiting my thread, I will write a post to you there later today...
Im so happy that you went to the shops, May I ask you what coloured nail you had them do this time...There are so many pretty colours now for nail polish...
How is Rachel going? Is she managing her job okay?
Chrissy, I do a lot of games on my iPad to keep my mind busy, there are a lot of different games that can keep us busy..other then that I have no interests, very bad on my behalf, but I have no motivation at all..It's aweful isn't it?
I really do have to find something to interest me,mill have to look around, there is nothing at all in my little village to do..I'm lost in that area..but I'll continue to look for something.
How about you, have you discovered anything new to do?
Warm hugs,
Karen
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Its always a pleasure to catch up with you Chrissy.
Oh yes, I recall reading earlier on your thread that getting your nails done once a month is one of your passions. Good on you for continuing to do things you enjoy. And anything which makes you feel good, is well worthwhile. I have never had my nails done. I have had a couple of facials in the past however, when given as a gift for birthdays or christmases. Its not something I do for myself though. Perhaps I should?
The cold is slowly improving, but I'm still left with a deep chesty cough which is annoying. But I do feel better in general than I have since the weekend. So obviously on the mend. Things are definitely easier now that hubby is home from hospital. I no longer have to dash off to the hospital each day at 8am and not return home until 8pm. And it also means I'm able to spend much more time with my dear little dog Charli. She was sadly neglected for a month while hubby was so ill and needed me there all the time. Hubby is doing okay. Although I really dont like giving needles, I am doing okay so far with the twice a day injections I continue to give him. It is essential he has them, so there really is no choice in the matter. And he just isnt steady enough to give them to himself.
Oh yes, I love the current weather. I think autumn is my favourite season. Love the cooler nights, the heavy dews and the crystal clear mornings. I like to sit in the gentle warm rays of sunshine in the early mornings. Charli does too.
Okay gotta go now, but I will catch up with you again soon. Hope your day has been good?
Mandy