I can't find the right place for me to post

[Moonstruck]

I don't know any more where to put a new thread if I make one, or which ones to join in. I always used Anxiety because that is my major condition but that has been relatively under control lately - I feel Depressed today - but I don't qualify for the topics there either. I'm depressed mainly because there doesn't seem a place for me. I love some of the threads and personal thoughts for example in Staying Well, but I can't join in there, because I don't have any tips for Staying Well.

I tend to have almost paranoid thoughts through over-thinking "problems" that I would like to talk over but don't know where to talk them over before they reach the paranoid stage...I want to avoid that. I join in the Social threads saying light hearted jokey things because thats the only place I seem to belong.

I dwell on any problems my adult sons have in various aspects of their life and want to "fix things for them" - our relationship is very loving and close though - they are wonderful to me - so there is no real "problem" with my relationship with them....so I don't seem to belong in the "relationships, family" section either do I?

I worry about them all the time - when I tried to express this on forum I think it was misconstrued that I had "empty nest syndrome" - trying to adapt to my sons' leaving home....No, that's not it...they've been gone for years and years...I am a grandmother.

I liked the Getting to Know You, or is it Me? thread very much - but have been given suggestions how to start my own thread and what section to use etc and get the feeling I'm being steered away from there too.

So I am still confused. I don't feel particularly anxious today, so this shouldn't even be in Anxiety! Do you see my dilemma?

In fact the more I write the more I feel like crying - I don't know where to go next.

[quirkywords]

Moon

i don’t like when my flight is cancelled. I have only been on two flights in 3 years. I was worried as I was flying alone. My daughter texted me at airport and said she was in car late. I went to wrong car park and she was so angry with me that I cried and felt 9ld and useless.

I think many people like me and you feel anxious about travelling alone. 
I find it hard to catch a train and a coach  then light rail so it is 8 hrs and it is tiring. 

You are trying hard and are not alone. 

[Croix]

Dear Moon~

First off let me echo Sophie_M, calling up is exactly the right thing to do. It is amazing how much comfort there is in hearing a human voice. And no, your troubles are not trivial ones, anyone who has to say "every morning, I wake up immediately overwhelmed with fear, anxiety" does need support.

No, age has nothing to do with it and most importantly you have not changed, you are a competent now as ever before. Ember how you ex-boss used to rely upon you. That peron is still there and will sort it all -lists included.

The only thing that has has changed is that transport is less reliable, between covid reducing the number of aircraft, floods cutting off roads and general disorganization it simply becomes a new matter to deal with.

That airline had no busines recheduling you wihtout talking it over with you. Shoddy practice.

You also don't really need anyone ot tell you to go, every word you write shows how much it means to you -how could you miss out on all that close contact and love?

Croix

[Moonstruck]

Thank you Sophie...that's appreciated.  I will phone but even that action scares me a bit.  I just watched all the people in Victoria etc who are facing huge hardship and fear with the floods, the prospect of losing their homes, having to evacuate etc and felt "what the hell have I got to complain about?" when they are the ones who need to ring BB and probably are.......the strange thing is, when  get on the phone to a counsellor, the old business like professional "me" sort of sneaks in and I sound competent and organised and eloquent!!   Whaat!  I think the term is an "over achieving anxiety sufferer" or similar!!   thanks again for replying...you're great to do that.....sincerely Moon S.

[Moonstruck]

Oh thank you so much Paws.  Yes at the bottom of my heart and confusion, I know for a fact if I spend the days here at home with a few friends who may find out its my birthday...they would insist upon "doing something" and my son would be so disappointed and the grandkids too maybe...but they're kids and wouldn't really care I don't think!  anyway I would be disappointed in myself, which is worse for not even trying.

I have arranged a new time with another airline, the people I spoke to in their call centre were incredibly helpful, professional, caring and kind.....that was a bonus.

so most of the turmoil is within my own head.   It is reassuring for me to know that you also, have had a bit of trouble with travel..."is it worth the worry?"....I feel I am not alone in these unexpected emotions regarding getting out of my "comfort zone"....i.e. my home I guess...familiarity!

a funny thing is....I still have my old travel diary I kept when about 20 and I went overseas...by myself....different countries and when I read the entries I wonder "who was this girl?"    I was not afraid of anything at all.  i write blithely about unexpected things that happened in different places etc;  delays with flights etc didn't faze me at all...who was this young girl...where did she go?   

Yes you are right....hugging my son will be worth it all. Seeing how much the little kids have grown and developed into their own people will probably amaze me.  I can't pass it up can I?........love from Moon S

[Moonstruck]

Dearest Quirky....thank you for reminding me I am not the only one.  Perhaps we should fly together next time?  we don't have to become "friends" or anything....just get on and off the planes at the same time, then part when at our destination saying "Thanks Quirky"..."Thanks Moonstruck".....Getting older sucks....I will never let anyone tell me otherwise....alll this "best days of your life" is utter crap!   Likewise those TV ads of old people living it up in Retirement Villages...gimme a break!!  Glad you are still here on Forum.....x

[Moonstruck]

Dear Croix...so nice to see you back.  Hoping you had a worthwhile "time out"  as you can see, I've just about said it all regarding my travel saga in these replies I sent to others just this morning, so I won't repeat them, hope you can find the ones I mean.    It appears you are clever at reading "between my lines"...I guess in your previous profession this ability to "read people" was extremely valuable if not necessary.    We have lots of rain up here in my State....not so bad at all in my region thank God, mainly inland......so the only thing that now I have no "control" over re my travel plans is the weather!!!   Or if the pilot is a homicidal maniac, or the cabin crew spill food over me, or there's a terrorist on board, or a crying baby beside me...or, or, or.

Was reading an interesting book re Worry, Anxiety etc by DrJodie Lowringer.  One chapter is called "Get out of the Boxing Ring with Uncertainty"...because Uncertainty will always win!  .. the fact that we have no real "control" over what happens in the world, even our own little part of that world...and some of us fight and fight to have "certainty" over what will happen, how things will work out etc.. She says to stop fighting Uncertainty because Uncertainty will always win;  we will never have "certainty"  and Worry keeps reminding us of that fact.  "what if this, what if that?"   { THAT REMINDS ME...'WHAT IF IT RAINS?")

complex creatures we humans...I'd rather be a sloth!

[mmMekitty]

Hi Moon.

I'm relieved to see Sophie_M. Paws, Quirky & Croix have spoken to you. I don't manage to respond nearly as quickly as I'd like, so I am glad when others do.

I'm also glad you've managed to make other arrangements with another airline. Not so good to lose money to the big airline, though.

I want to reiterate that the concerns, anxiety & distress you feel is real & valid, & because this is how you feel - I can see this is a really big deal to you. Your needs are no less important than anyone else's. In no way does comparing your distress & problems to another's diminish what you are dealing with.

I hope you will call BB's counselling service. Having a real-time conversation with someone who will listen & respond to what you are saying & the feelings you express, can be so helpful. 

I can't & shouldn't try to tell you what to do. In these posts here, it is plainly evident how important it is for you to see family, for your birthday, or maybe, because it's been so long (?). You have tried very hard to make the trip happen - & I am glad you found another airline, so it seems to me, you know what you want to do.

Like me, I'm sure you won't quite believe it until you are there, but I think you will get to see your family & you will have a great time.

Hugzies,

mmMekitty

[quirkywords]

Moon

 get out of the boxing ring with uncertainty  sounds interesting but my slow brain does nit really understand,does it u mean we must learn to live with uncertainty?

[Moonstruck]

  Hello Quirky, fellow traveller......Here is a quote from the book  "in the boxing ring your opponent is uncertainty, you fight and fight and fight, but your opponent always wins. why? There is no certainty, there will never be certainty"...."You recognise that it is a battle you will never win as you can never entirely predict the future..while you struggle to eliminate uncertainty, you keep your anxiety and worry alive"   "this is not about giving up hope about your power to make a difference. this is just about refocusing your energy to areas where you have control".   She is trying to convey this is where "worry" steps in and reminds you of all the things that "could" go wrong.  Instead of listening to the worry, take some value driven actions that are within your control..e.g. making appointments, travel plans, whatever....Worry tells you to keep struggling to eliminate any uncertainty about your plans, and worry is very convincing, so you listen....and get caught in a vicious circle with your adrenalin and cortisol surging through your bloodstream.  And this leads to major anxiety, and possibly panic attacks.   re "living with uncertainty"?   I think we already are... perhaps we always have. 

[CMF]

Love this ❤️