I can't find the right place for me to post

[Moonstruck]

I don't know any more where to put a new thread if I make one, or which ones to join in. I always used Anxiety because that is my major condition but that has been relatively under control lately - I feel Depressed today - but I don't qualify for the topics there either. I'm depressed mainly because there doesn't seem a place for me. I love some of the threads and personal thoughts for example in Staying Well, but I can't join in there, because I don't have any tips for Staying Well.

I tend to have almost paranoid thoughts through over-thinking "problems" that I would like to talk over but don't know where to talk them over before they reach the paranoid stage...I want to avoid that. I join in the Social threads saying light hearted jokey things because thats the only place I seem to belong.

I dwell on any problems my adult sons have in various aspects of their life and want to "fix things for them" - our relationship is very loving and close though - they are wonderful to me - so there is no real "problem" with my relationship with them....so I don't seem to belong in the "relationships, family" section either do I?

I worry about them all the time - when I tried to express this on forum I think it was misconstrued that I had "empty nest syndrome" - trying to adapt to my sons' leaving home....No, that's not it...they've been gone for years and years...I am a grandmother.

I liked the Getting to Know You, or is it Me? thread very much - but have been given suggestions how to start my own thread and what section to use etc and get the feeling I'm being steered away from there too.

So I am still confused. I don't feel particularly anxious today, so this shouldn't even be in Anxiety! Do you see my dilemma?

In fact the more I write the more I feel like crying - I don't know where to go next.

[CMF]

Dear Moon,

I'm glad I found you. I'm confused too and happy that Croix has explained this to you.

Hope we can reconnect now.

Cmf x

[quirkywords]

Yes I am looking forward to recommecting with familiar names.

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Moon….🤗….and everyone…🤗.

I am just calling in to say hello sweet moon and ask you a very important question….RUOK?…

It has been extremely frustrating trying to navigate and find our dear friends and their threads since the new forums have arrived….Like many others here, I had plenty of tears, frustration, feeling abandoned and disconnected from the beautiful friends that I chat to….Slowly,  and with a lot of patience and hard work I am starting to feel more comfortable here…

I hope so much..with all the hope that I have, that you will also be able to find your way around these forums and feel more comfortable using them….If I can help in anyway at all…I will try my best to help you…um I know how to search for a thread or member…I know how to follow threads…and bring up all discussions and my discussions….that’s just about it…but I do find that it’s enough for me right now….Maybe later down the track, I’ll need to work out some other things.…that can wait until the time comes that I need to learn it..

Thinking of you with kindness, care and love….and sending you a warm comforting hug…

Grandy..

[Moonstruck]

What lovely thoughts you send me Grandy...and thanks for asking the RUOK question.  well I am not sure...I sort of fluctuate from up and down, together then confused. My older relative had a heart attack couple months ago...I hadnt found my way round Forum then, so couldn't share anything with my friends here, or ask for support.  I found myself having to go through all the red tape with arranging some Home Care etc....hospital visits, washing, taking things to her, then letting everyone know, rushing back and forth from home and hospital....was trying to do some of my part time work...I can make my own hours thank God...I took up some work again, as I have been at such a loose end since my partner died 2 years ago.

It give me some extra pocket money and keeps me occupied I guess...but I am getting older and noticing getting confused and planning, organising myself than I used to.....I am trying to take care of ME and congratulate myself on achieving the results I have, in going back go some work.  It is not easy.  Getting older is horrible when your body starts letting you down.  My relative with the heart attack is home now, getting some home care OK and seems much more content in her own home, rather than Aged Care which would kill her I reckon.   she insisted she wouldnt go into one...and is doing better than I expected at home......what a lonely life it seems to become, as we get older,when we deserve to be happy healthy and fulfilled, joyous and dancing...enjoying life like the older men and women on TV ads for retirement villages etc.   

Old age is not like that at all...its bloody hard!!!   but yes I am really doing OK and have so little to complain, if anything, about....life can be very good too.   Hope you are doing OK Grandy.....x

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear sweet Moon,  🤗..

I am so sorry to hear about your elderly relative…and so pleased that she is back home and feeling more content at home…..You had some hard times…(I can imagine) with all the running around and organising things for her…..You done a very hard job, you got through it, probably with lots of tears and with your heart breaking for her…yet it did it….I hope looking back now over those couple of months, you realise that you done exceptionally good…..

I have worked in aged care…now I’m not saying they are all the same…where I worked the aged residence where treated poorly, I wouldn’t want anyone to go into aged care units….I am thankful that both my children have offered me a place to live, when I can no longer look after me….I hope they carry through with there invite….time and circumstances will have a lot to do with that…when the time comes…Adds can be very deceiving….please don’t believe what you see on those aged care adverts…

I agree getting older is no fun…..I know with me, my mind says I can do this or that…I start looking forward to doing them…but by tired old body constantly let’s me down….it’s sad really..in a way….then I remember that I/we are in a way privileged  to have been allowed to grow older…many, many people don’t get to grow older…..My next pension I receive is aged pension…hmmm now I feel like I’m put into a different class of people in society…

My heart warmed, when I read your really doing okay….I do hope you are, and hope that if your not, you’ll talk here so we can at least give you some caring support, your a very valued person here to me and I know many others think that way about you also….

You’ve got this..dear sweet Moon…You can lean on us anytime you need to…..we are all for you….People don’t need to meet each other, before they become friends and learn to care and love someone…you are loved here dear Moon, by myself and many others who have gotten to know you..

Sending you my love, care and hugs…my sweet friend..♥️🦋🤗..

Grandy..

[mmMekitty]

Hello Moon,

I'm so glad you've got your old rellie set up in her own home, with care & services to support her. It's a lot to organise in a short period of time. I think you've done well, too.

❤️s for everyone,

mmMekitty

[Moonstruck]

Good to be hearing from people again...and especially good that I can find them!   Something that was a bit of a nuisance seems to be growing stronger and I am trying to "nip in the bud" so to speak, but hope I am not too late...i.e. the dislike of "going out" . I mean, during the day, just to everyday trivial things...like driving to town, going into shops, various errands etc.   It all feels like too hard...so that I see things advertised, like big sales...its a shop I would like to go to, perhaps buy some good stuff that will make me feel good....but it just seems like too much effort...to get dressed, look presentable, get in the car, drive in, walk around the shops, various aches and pains setting in the further I walk.

I get very confused and have to "make a list"of places I want to go...heaven forbid I would forget to go somewhere and have to go out AGAIN the next day!!  Oh no, that would be terrible.   Why am I doing this?  Is this common as we get older? Does anyone else do it?   If I don't get control of it now...I am concerned it may become full blown agoraphobia.....so can't let that happen.

My own suburb is beautiful, and most of all....SAFE!!  Its probably no safer than anywhere else, but I find my world getting smaller and smaller, although the whole world is out there.....open for me, waiting for me. I just want to stay home.   But I am missing out on other things and places, the "younger me"  does want to go to.

[quirkywords]

Moon

I found this thread then lost the found it. I find going away to visit children and grandchildren requires planning and I often forget something. Away from home I do get a bit nervous when going down steps and walking on uneven pavements as I have friends my age or older who have fallen over. I find big shopping centres a bit overwhelming at times.

i have covid so mind is fuzzy and I am exhausted so sorry if this makes no sense.

[Paw Prints]

Hello Moon,

Yes I'm the same... lists & all... it all just seems too much bother... I find I now try go to all the shops I need to in just one outing... & often don't get to all of them when my body starts protesting loudly that I've done too much... or because I find myself feeling I've had enough & just want to be back home... mind you I've never been one who enjoyed a bit of "retail therapy"...  but I didn't use to mind just popping up to the shops for that one thing I needed... whereas now... 

Once I did these things without thinking... now I have to push myself... but I'm finding that is happening in all aspects of my life... I do put it down to getting older... the memory not being what it was... but more to the aches & pains than the number of years... I physically can no longer do as much as I used too in one go & everything takes longer to do... that is a fact of life however frustrating... 

Do keep pushing yourself to go out dear Moon... it is so easy to become trapped in our little worlds...

Hugs

Paws

[mmMekitty]

Hi Moon,

I thought I posted here Tuesday night, but i't's not turned up.. lost, I guess in the ether.

I was thinking, 'ditto', I feel as you have described. I also have the eyesight deteriorating, the bodily problems, my ongoing inability to wear a mask, & my hearing also pretty much gone in my right ear, too, & I think only a small part of this has to do with any natural aging process.

I've been staying home so much I am not used to being in the noisy busy environments anymore, not that I enjoyed them much before, though. I've lost a lot of the confidence I had when I first learned to use my white cane, & my eyesight was better, & I felt physically better.

I'm still concerned about COVID, given my health & my age, so I am still reluctant to go out. I'm more dependent on having my helper with me, too & think if I didn't have her, I wouldn't convince myself going out was worth the bother, anxiety discomfort & pain I would feel, even if I found exactly what I want to shop for.

One thing is tangled up with the other, & the other... all messy & I don't think if I could fix one area of this, that it would help much at all now. There are some things I can't do anything about. I can only work on the things I can do something about.

Hugzies? 😺

mmMekitty