I can't find the right place for me to post

[Moonstruck]

I don't know any more where to put a new thread if I make one, or which ones to join in. I always used Anxiety because that is my major condition but that has been relatively under control lately - I feel Depressed today - but I don't qualify for the topics there either. I'm depressed mainly because there doesn't seem a place for me. I love some of the threads and personal thoughts for example in Staying Well, but I can't join in there, because I don't have any tips for Staying Well.

I tend to have almost paranoid thoughts through over-thinking "problems" that I would like to talk over but don't know where to talk them over before they reach the paranoid stage...I want to avoid that. I join in the Social threads saying light hearted jokey things because thats the only place I seem to belong.

I dwell on any problems my adult sons have in various aspects of their life and want to "fix things for them" - our relationship is very loving and close though - they are wonderful to me - so there is no real "problem" with my relationship with them....so I don't seem to belong in the "relationships, family" section either do I?

I worry about them all the time - when I tried to express this on forum I think it was misconstrued that I had "empty nest syndrome" - trying to adapt to my sons' leaving home....No, that's not it...they've been gone for years and years...I am a grandmother.

I liked the Getting to Know You, or is it Me? thread very much - but have been given suggestions how to start my own thread and what section to use etc and get the feeling I'm being steered away from there too.

So I am still confused. I don't feel particularly anxious today, so this shouldn't even be in Anxiety! Do you see my dilemma?

In fact the more I write the more I feel like crying - I don't know where to go next.

[Paw Prints]

Hello Moon,

One thing that does jump out at me from all your posts is how important your hobby/activity has always been & is for you... I've been pondering your latest post all afternoon since I first read it... I keep thinking... from sports people to dancers, musicians & scientists... when people who have been good in their chosen field reach the end of their time doing their chosen activity they often become coaches, trainers, educators or mentors... lass you have wealth of experience & knowledge which has value... might not you find a new joy in helping others to learn the full gamit of skill sets that helped you enjoy/excel at your hobby/activity over so many years...

Hugs

Paws

[mmMekitty]

Hi Moon.

I am one of those people - one who is not close to any family. I try to be closer to my sis again, but it's hard & feels superficial. She's not into Xmas, nor her Birthday, nothing much like that.

I have no close friends.

It seems no one is near me over the last 10 days of Dec until after the first or second week of January.

I think most of it is 'silly' in the extreme & some of the spending some people do, included. The food is no good to anyone, unless it's the fruit on the pavlova, or the fresh vegies on the side.

I used to avoid Xmas like trying to avoid COVID. I've noticed, the more I avoided Xmas the worse I felt. I'm working out ways I can enjoy some of it, but not give in to those aspects I don't want to do or the food I don't want in me.

Ah, but, yes, I noticed people here who feel the loneliness, who miss people, pets, places, years gone by, or feel bad they can't do what they would like, go where they would like ...

Instead of imagining I can make it all go away - impossible, I fear, I decided to try to be here, last year, & this year, for precisely those people you mention & it helps me, too.

I know what it is like to have no-one say, "Merry Christmas", & to hear people around me having fun while I felt miserable; it surely is a deep dark pit to be in,
When I crawled out, I found some things about Xmas that were funny. I enjoy some of the silliness. I'm glad I tried to have a 'Crappiest Christmas Crap Award' last year, when I realised, I couldn't go out window shopping to spot all the crap not worth the effort to make let alone sell... only a few people joined in, but I trust others read the Discussion, & I hope, understood what I was doing.
This year, I can't do so much as last year. I do want people to know I'm thinking of them - hence the Festive Penguins.

& I see how awful it is for some people, notably, in the Ukraine. I see how some people are doing their damnedest to MAKE Christmas for themselves, in the midst of war, with no electricity but for generators, nothing but what they can find, & sharing together, singing & supporting each other.

They are not allowing their situation to deprive them of something to celebrate. It's like a big F-OFF to misery.

So, I'm glad I've done what I have. It's the least I could do.

Hugzies

mmMekitty

[Moonstruck]

Hello Paws.....yes I have thought of that too...seems the sensible next step which I will pursue and offer my services when I feel I am ready.....it may come easily and effortlessly to me { even I can see that} so its just a case of realising, admitting and accepting the inevitable...that I am not as young and youthful looking as I once was.  I'd be a pretty unusual human specimen if I was wouldn't it?      That is probably the road down which I will find myself one day.....will try my best not to give up entirely, crawl away into a hole and hide from the world.  with so much emphasis on being young and attractive, its a pretty challenging change to accept the gradually quite different looking "me"....thanks for your support.  really value it.  Moon xxx

[Moonstruck]

Thanks for your understanding words Kitty.  What I find mystifying is that unless...unless a person is a committed Christian, really believes the Christmas story...that it is a commemoration of the birth of a baby Jesus who was the Son of God and "died for our sins"....{ I can understand their celebrating this date)...

.but.....if they don't fit into that category and not committed to the Christian faith then WHY does December 25th send them into a crazy frenzy? 

why not just let the date pass like any other date?     Why celebrate anything at all.?   we can get together with loved ones, enjoy good food and buy each other gifts any day of the year?   why the big fuss?  Why the months of build up?  why the tinsel and lighting up houses costing people a fortune...why not give all that money to the poor and homeless instead?     Sorry but cannot see the point of having an inflatable Santa standing in the front yard.......why? 

 It's all "christmas crap" to me I'm afraid.....{ unless as I said earlier, you are a committed Christian and truly believe in the Nativity Scene and rest of the story)   If not, it's a waste of everyone's time.

[mmMekitty]

Once upon a time, long before Christianity arose & became the mess it is today, various cultures around the world had various ways of marking & measuring the seasonal changes, which included celebrations, which brought communities together, which helped to encourage a greater & deeper sense of being a community together, sharing in the good times & bad times...

Well, it wasn't so commercial way back before modern technologies such as the printing press & later radio & tv.

& of-course, our western culture encourages consumerism, being productive to make more money so we can consume ever more.

Let me unnecessarily remind you, this started long before we were born.

However, it would take a really good social anthropologist/psychologist to explain why so many people were taken in by the commercial hype. Maybe it was how advertisers pressed emotional buttons to scare us &/or encourage us to purchase the gifts, (to show you care or love family & friends, even co-workers, or strangers- using guilt to get us buying for those who have not), & food to show our generosity & to perhaps replicate the mid-winter feast of gratitude, & faith in the turning of the season, the promis of Spring...  So much marketing on many levels, to the young & old,rich & poor alike ... & totally supplanting that mid-Winter feast which was originally held over the Winter Solstice.

The Church couldn't be having with that... so Christmas, a few days later, became The Day, (but who knows actually which day the Jewish fellow was born? It's kind of like having an arbitrary public holiday for the King's Birthday.

Why not the celebrations of other cultures? They are not publicised nearly so much, & I think there is an unlying cultural/religious bias & discrimination going on.

In Australia we inherit northern hemisphere traditions, symbolism, just to make it seem weirder, I suppose & for most suburban Aussies, is a great excuse for a BBQ or a day at the beach or in the pool. That's okay, isn't it?

Of-course we all could give gifts & share food, put up pretty decorations, etcetera, anytime, but again, I need help to explain why we don't. Maybe we still yearn for the whole of a small community coming together, so we need a reason like a date marked in a calendar?

mmMekitty 

[Moonstruck]

Kitty...I've been trying for ages now to reconnect with old familiar threads, old friends etc....and when I browse around they are invariably dated up to about 8 or more years ago!!!    It says it is sorted by Most Recent, but it ISN"T!!   no matter what I click, what box, what numbered box at the end of the posts....I cannot get to the most recent....so I give up.  My interaction is limited to about 10 or so threads now....the rest of Forum writers are impossible to reply to if all I can find are their posts from years and years ago!!!   Bye old friends!!

[mmMekitty]

I've had some problems with that too, Moon. I'm not sure what to advise you - except to write an email directly to modsupport, 'Email Us' way down below the list of page numbers.

I don't know if you are using what sort of device you are using, but the site seems to appear different on various devices, & even works somewhat differently, too. I'll never use my phone for this site, not much for anything online, really, too hard for me. I did take a look one day, & realise how I've set up my desktop looks quite a bit different to how the website looks on a phone, or to someone who hasn't messed about with how the appearance of their desktops.

I know I can't find several people here anymore.

It's hard when people seem to just disappear & we don't know why. What's really sad for me is that even if I could find everyone, I can't keep up with so many conversations anymore anyway.

I hope you are able to sort out the problem of not seeing the most recent posts, soon.

I like what Paws said in their post a couple weeks ago, (scroll a few posts back) - worth some thought & consideration, eh?

Hugzies

mmMekitty

[Moonstruck]

I use only my desktop computer too Kitty....can't even login properly on my phone...{ never had trouble when Forum was the old format)....it takes ages and ages then asks me to do it all again.....not worth even attempting it....takes so long, and very frustrating just to get on there.....so I don't even attempt to use my phone any more. Such a shame that Forum was ruined by these changes....such a loss to those with no one else to talk to about mental health problems.  It served such a valuable purpose....now, that is gone to the majority of long time users, connections formed by "friends" over the years online are lost...such a waste!

[Sophie_M]

Hey Moonstruck, hey mmMekitty 🙂
 
We hope you don’t mind us reaching out to you, Moonstruck, we’ve noticed the difficulties you’re having using the Forums on your posts, and we’re really sorry to hear it’s not been working very well for you. Hopefully, we can help you with some of them and provide some clarity around what’s going on.

The “Most Recent” drop down allows you to display the threads that have been commented on most recently. The date shown on the posts listed here is date was first created, but to see the recent post you need to click on the thread title to view the thread. We hope that's helpful!

We've also reached out to you by email to see if we can offer some more help tailored to your set up, we hope that's ok. 

mmMekitty, we think your advice and support is fabulous, thank you for sharing these tips, they're incredibly useful. You're right about emailing modsupport@beyondblue.org.au - it's a great way to alert us to a problem, get some advice and support, and it helps us to have a clear picture of what's happening.

Thanks for bearing with these issues, both of you. We really appreciate your patience, and your openness while working through these challenges.

Kind regards, 

Sophie M

[Croix]

Dear Moon (with a wave to mmMekitty)

I sympathise as this forum is not as easy to use as the old one, and some ways of doing things are simply missing.

If you felt like listing some of those friends you would like to catch up wiht right here in your thread then I'll try and provide links here over the next day or so

Incidentally I'm pretty sure you are glad Chrsitmas is now over:). Anything interesting coming up?

Croix (home page -page number one- is here: Croix Parler)