how do i stop crying

[Matchy69]

I feel so alone,i dont have many friends or anyone who wants to know what i am going through.I just find my self just breaking down and crying.I just want some one to listen and not to judge me.

[Matchy69]

Hi Sarah yes I heard the news about home schooling in Victoria.I hope it all goes well for you.

I usually cut the leaves off and put in the compost and throw the storm as it is a bit woody and it is hard for it to break down but it's good to get organic matter in your growing mix.

take care,

Your friend ,

Mark.

[Aaronsis]

Hey Mark

Yes we are back to the days of remote learning next week and the news in this morning is that lockdown may be extended past the original 6 weeks that they first put in place. I have to stay focused and positive and know that we have done it before and we can do it again, that it is hard but we have our health and we have each other. I have got some things to do to try to break up the day for the kids and just hope we can get this virus under control.

The plants are just huge this morning from a few days of rain and then some afternoon sunshine...according to the dates on the veggie tags the beetroot should be ready at the end of the month..exciting! I will maybe start a compost bin, I will have to do some research about that but I have enough veggie waste in the kitchen to be able to do something like that so should maybe see what is involved there..do you compost?

The sun is out this morning so am going to try and get out for a walk, I really have not been exercising and it makes you feel yuk...I have to try to incorporate that in the day, and get the kids out too.

Hope you are great and that your kids are doing well too Mark.

Hugs
Sarah

[Matchy69]

Hi Sarah I hope you manage OK with all the restrictions.

Yes I have compost and have a compost bin and put all my vegie scraps and lawn clippings and leaves in it and use it in my vegie garden.I also use a lot of horse manure that I get from my ex who has horses.

My daughter has an appointment with the psychologist tomorrow. She wouldn't go to school yesterday but is today at school.

It is very cold and windy here today. This morning I transplanted an apple tree that was growing in the wrong spot. now I am in front of the fire inside. It's freezing outside.

Take care,

Your friend,

Mark.

[Matchy69]

I had a phone call from the hospital today as they booked my surgery for the August 7.Now I am feeling very anxious and worried.

[Aaronsis]

Hey Mark

I just wanted to stop in and let you k is my mother passed away suddenly on Wednesday and as you very well know... it is beyond devastating. I am going to take some time but I will be back.

I will be back soon Mark.

Hugs

Sarah

[Matchy69]

I am so sorry for your lost Sarah.My thoughts are with you and your family.

[Aaronsis]

Hey Mark

Just wanted to stop in and say hi and see how you were feeling about the surgery and that you now have a date and were feeling very anxious? I hope that you have been kind to you and know that the doctors are very skilled and have your best interest at heart and will take very good care of you. I know it is frightening to have to go through a procedure and I will be thinking of you on this day.

Thank you so much for your kind message and your support Mark, it is so hard as you very well know so I don't have to tell you about that!

How are your kids going and your daughter with her new meds, I have been thinking about her and wondering how she is going?

My veggies are booming and I am just sad that my mum wont get to see that after all these years I finally grew something...

Hugs to you Mark and thank you for your support.

Sarah

[Matchy69]

Hi Sarah big hugs from me. You are a such strong person coming on here checking on me.I really feel your pain and know what you must be going through.

Iam really worried about the surgery as I know of the risk.I have to do a test this week and next week seem them at the hospital and then they operate the following week.

I have been trying to get a few things fixed around here. I am getting a government grant to get the septic fixed so it won't cost me anything. And getting my stove fixed through home assist so hopefully be fixed this week.

My daughter hasn't been doing any good on the new medication. It made her panic attacks a lot worst so she has been taken off the new one. I have never seen her having such bad panic attacks before. They were the worst I have seen.

I have started harvesting my Swedes and lettuces from my before garden. I am sure your mother is looking down on you and is proud of your vegies you have grown.

Sending you love and hugs,

Your friend,

Mark.

[Matchy69]

Hi Sarah I been thinking of you and thinking of something I did when my mother passed for my kids and I think for my self. I made a book with photos of my mother from baby through her childhood and adult life with stories of what she did through the years. It was just a thought. I hope your OK and I am here if you need to talk.

Love and hugs,

Mark.

[Aaronsis]

Hi Mark

Thank you so much for your support, it is so hard and I knew one day I would have to say goodbye, it is life, I just didn't know it was going to be so soon and so sad. I am just heartbroken and also managing some guilt on our last year together as she struggled so badly, so very badly with anxiety and I just could not help her.

I am remembering the good times and I love the idea of a book, that is just beautiful and I am sure putting it together will actually be healing too.

How are you and your kids going? We are day two into wearing our masks and it is something to really get used to...if you struggle with bad breathe you are really going to suffer..lol...my glasses are fogged up and after a few hours my ears hurt from the elastic but hey, I get it..we are all doing our bit and I would rather this than have to have another family say goodbye to one of their own if it can be avoided.

This morning was the first day in a week that I looked at my veggies and they are absolutely huge. I feel bad that I have not given them a thought til today but I am sure they understand.

Thank you so much for your support and your kind words to me Mark, it did help so much, I have been here reading but just don't have much in the tank right now for supporting others. It will come soon I hope.

Hugs

Sarah