how do i stop crying

[Matchy69]

I feel so alone,i dont have many friends or anyone who wants to know what i am going through.I just find my self just breaking down and crying.I just want some one to listen and not to judge me.

[Aaronsis]

Hey Mark

Sorry for the pause in our chats but know that you are not ever far in my thoughts.

How are things going with the kids and the panic around health at the moment? Mine just finished school yesterday so the new days begin of holidays and things to do when there is nothing that can be done. They are going to learn some home lessons I think..lol

You mentioned on the other thread about your ex's twins..I am wondering if you wanted to chat some more about that and share some of that with me? Only if you want to that is.

I really like the pic of the dog that you have loaded, he/she looks like she/he is about to enjoy a yummy meal.

Hope today is good for you Mark and once again, apologies for the gap in out chats.

Huge hugs as always

Sarah xxx

[Matchy69]

Hi Sarah its great to hear from you.This panic has just gone crazy.I managed to get a 20pack of toilet paper today i feel like i won the lotto.I got it during the 1 hour for pensioners.I have allready been put in self isolation as when i was as the doctors with my daughter they had a suspected case of the coronavirus.The person tested negative so we are free now well as much as you can be.My children are not at school as we dont have hand santizer for them.I think will be shut down soon and dont know when they will go back i think it will be along time.My daughter got her learners and have given her one lesson but not allowed to give her anymore with the non essential travel restrictions.The uncertainity of all this is so scary and dont know when this will end.I just live day to day and thats all we can do.I will talk about the twins another time.I really missed you.

Take care,

Your friend,

Mark.

[Aaronsis]

Hey Mark and it is great to hear from you too.

You sure sound like you have had an awesome day..any day where you can get toilet paper is a good day...lol. The world is a little wonky at the moment but I do believe that we will be better as humans when we come out the other side of this. We will appreciate time spent with family and actually understand how lucky we truely are in this country.

Congratulations to your baby girl...who is not such a baby, getting her learners is awesome and I am sure you are so very proud of her, now the lessons begin, but as you said, a little tricky at the moment with the rules to stay home.

You can talk about the twins anytime you like, you choose, as you know I am here an although I have been a bit slow to respond this week, I am here for you Mark.

Hope tonight is a good night for you.

Chat soon

Sarah xxx

[Matchy69]

Feeling really bad today,I think everyone hates me.

[Aaronsis]

Hey Mark

I am sorry to hear that you are having a bad day today, it really is hard to stay positive at these times when we have to stay at home and try to find things to occupy our minds so that we dont fall down the rabbit hole.

Can I say that I don't hate you, I think you are an amazing person, father and you are so very supportive to others here too, so I find it hard to think that everyone hates you, although I understand that you are having a bad day and that thoughts quickly can spiral and lead to "think" these untruths.

I have just been out for an hour walk and it has made me feel better today.

I had a tough day yesterday as it was my brother's birthday and I was supposed to be in Cooma with my dad and be there to lay his ashes, I wasn't there...for their mental health they went ahead and laid him to rest, just a hard day for me yesterday.

Hugs to you Mark

Sarah xx

[Matchy69]

I am so sorry about it being your brothers birthday yesterday and you couldnt be there to lay your brothers ashes.Things we miss out on during this time.I am going to miss out seeing my step daughters baby thats due in 4 weeks.It might be months before i will be able to see it.

Sarah i know you genuinly care.

Take care,

Your friend,

Mark.

[Aaronsis]

Thank you Mark for your support and yes, this damn virus is taking not only our day to day activities away but events in our lives that we are not able to get back. I have to try to process this and find something positive to get me through that fact.

I guess there is facetime and pics in the mail and other ways to see the baby, but nothing can replace the real life experience of meeting this little baby.

I do genuinely care Mark as I know you do too.

I am thankful for this forum more than anything at the moment.

We are all hurting in one form or another and it either brings the best out or the worst out in humans....I am trying to find my best.

xxxx huge hugs as always xxxx

[Matchy69]

Hi Sarah yes all these restictions are effecting everyone.I cant even go to the doctor now,its all done by telehealth which means i wont be seeing a doctor for awhile.Dropped the kids back to their mothers today but now i dont know when i will be seeing them again with more restrictions everyday.Its making me very anxious and i am not sleeping well.Everyday seems to get more scary.I hope you are coping ok.Its not easy for any of us.

Take care,

Your friend,

Mark.

[Matchy69]

Hi today i started my motorbikes up and would have loved to have gone for a ride but can't under the current restrictions which breaks my heart as this was one of the few pleasures i had in life.I am going to get groceries delivered so i rarely have to go out now.

[Aaronsis]

Hi Mark

Times sure are changing and it is really hard to get used to this "isolation" thing. It is hard not to be able to do the things we once did that were the things that helped with feeling down and the things that helped get through the day. I have to keep reminding myself this is just a "phase" and we will come out of this, that we will be able to resume to the things we love very soon. I think imagining how good that ride is going to be once you can get back on your bike and go out and about and explore again, what a wonderful thing to look forward to.

Having the groceries delivered is a great help and will help you to limit any chance what so ever of exposing yourself to the virus. Try tho to step outside in the garden if you can, you have such joy and beauty out there, suck it up and look at those flowers and feel the sunshine, it is only a small thing but we have to still get some outside time in.

I hope your kids are ok and that they are managing through this time, mine are starting to climb the walls but we have been painting, playing scrabble and dancing...

Chat to you soon Mark

Huge hugs as always

your friend

Sarah xx