how do i stop crying

Matchy69 · ‎30-09-2019

I feel so alone,i dont have many friends or anyone who wants to know what i am going through.I just find my self just breaking down and crying.I just want some one to listen and not to judge me.

Aaronsis · ‎06-03-2020

Hi Mark

I can hear how annoyed you are at this anxiety, for ruining all the goodness that you had and for taking your friend away, it is totally understandable to want and to need to cry. You are no weak man by any means....you are a wonderful father that is doing his best to raise 2 children that have special needs, as well as manage a house and take care of all the things that go along with that. You are a man who is going through a rough time and I wish more than anything I could actually do something that would help you out and pull you out of this fog.

I also want you to think about that you are not solely responsible for your friend leaving, she too has a role to play in that so don't take on the whole load of that yourself. She too has a part to play in that friendship ending.

I am so sorry you feel so bad Mark, I really am.

Hugs

Sarah xxx

Matchy69 · ‎06-03-2020

Hi Sarah thankyou for your nice words but i feel i have a hitory of doing it and i never learn.I take full responsibility for everything that goes wrong in my life.

Matchy69 · ‎08-03-2020

I had a good morning but now it is night i am feeling scared and alone.I will see what tomorrow will bring.

Matchy69 · ‎09-03-2020

I went to airshow yesterday on my bike.When i was leaving i thought i saw my friends car coming down the road but i didnt see who was in the car and is a common car even though she lives 2 hours away from it she did work in aviation and would possibly go to it.Now i just thinking what if i stayed 10 minutes longer.

Aaronsis · ‎09-03-2020

Hey Mark

That is so wonderful that you went to the airshow, I am sure it was totally awesome..although..I have a confession..while I don't suffer anxiety to the extreme..airshows actually do make me feel really really anxious. I worry that something horrific is going to happen in the air and that people will get hurt and that all the people in the crowd become witness to the event. I know it is not likely and my rational brain comes in but when I see groups of show planes fly over or am at an event and the planes fly over it really does make me panic. I am glad that you got out on your bike and that you had a wonderful day out.

I am sorry now that you have the question floating around in your head if that was or wasn't your friend in the car...I think you may have to put it down to something you will never know for sure. I am also sure you are doing the whole "I should have stayed longer" thing but hey...hindsight is a wonderful thing right.

I hope you are having a great day today and that you have some great pics from the air show, the one you loaded here is awesome.

Hugs

Sarah

Matchy69 · ‎09-03-2020

Hi Sarah,i was expressing some things that were going on in my head.Its ok.

Matchy69 · ‎10-03-2020

I think i am just getting depressed as its my birthday tomorrow and i have no body to spend it with.I might go for a ride.

Aaronsis · ‎10-03-2020

Hey Mark

Well let me be the first to say to you HAPPY BIRTHDAY for tomorrow Mark, going for a ride sounds wonderful, you can go to a place that makes you feel happy and maybe have some lunch or a coffee. I will not be there in person but I will be there in spirit and hoping that you have a wonderful day on your special day.

Will you be seeing the kids for your birthday?

Hope today is a good one for you Mark and I will chat some more to you later on.

Huge hugs as always

Sarah xxx

Matchy69 · ‎10-03-2020

Hi Sarah my kids have an appointment tomorrow that their mother will take them to.Its my sons birthday thursdayI will have my kids friday to monday.

I am not sure where i am going to tomorrow.I was raining all day yesterday and its find today and should be tomorrow.

Aaronsis · ‎11-03-2020

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you Mark.

I hope today is full of things that make you smile and that you can do some things that make you so very happy as you truly deserve a day all about how wonderful you are.

Happy Birthday my friend.

Birthday hugs

Sarah xxxx