Help

[Fiasco]

I think I'm going crazy. Can someone please help me?

[White_Rose]

So pleased to hear from you. Was there any particular reason you were not admitted to hospital? I know you dislike these places so perhaps it was better to go home.

How good to have the opportunity to talk to your psychologist at short notice. Did you find it helpful? I hope the MH team have been in contact with you already. Please do not keep the happy face on to these professionals. They can only help you if you let them in and tell them the whole story. I know how hard it is for you to have any trust in these people, but please try. I hope they are not the same people you talked to a while ago.

Please keep posting, well as long as you have the energy. We are still here for you.

Mary

[Fiasco]

Thank you ladies. I'm very drained at the moment. Big day. Kids are in the bath and I'm waiting for my father in law to arrive to watch them so I can go to my dance class. I'm not in hospital because I'm trying really hard to keep myself safe. But I know that at some point tonight I might need to admit myself. I'll deal with that if I get to it. Have to go deal with kids. Thank you again.

[Fiasco]

Up in the early hours again. Stopped eating and sleeping. Bad. My plan is to drop the kids, organise someone to collect them without going into why and then check myself into hospital. If I didn't have kids I'd have done it already. But while the thought of them is stopping me from getting help, they're also the reason I'm still alive. Feel like I'm letting everyone down. I need to be home to keep their routine etc. but I just can't take this anymore. My head is pounding. I'm so terrified.

[Fiasco]

Tried to talk to my husband. I wish I hadn't. It all ends in anger and frustration. He can't cope with it and has no understanding. I don't what to do. I was going to go to hospital, but now I feel so guilty I want to just try harder to ignore my feeling and do what I'm supposed to do - keep caring for him and the kids. It's like, don't worry about, forget I said anything, it's fine.

[Guest_3712]

Hi Fiasco

You need to go to hospital as u planned

whatever arrangements you can put in place for your kids do it and go.

youve put it off long enough and it's not going to get better without help

i know . Like others you've talked to I've been exactly where you are now

Best thing I did was go into hospital for everyone . I know what it's like to have a difficult husband and he's not going to change until he's forced to

so look after yourself first and the rest will follow

Take Care

Stressless

[Fiasco]

I'm in hospital. But probably not to be admitted. Been here for hours in emergency and had to rehash my story over and over. I'm exhausted and so drained. And ashamed and embarrassed.

[Quercus]

Hi Fiasco,

I'm sorry I wasn't here to support you last night. Am trying to cut down my online time a bit.

You have nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed for. It is gutsy thing to do to admit you need help. You are putting your needs first and thats a good thing!

I'm sorry you don't have the support at home. Maybe you should see if hubby would read some of the stuff on beyond blue about caring for someone with a MI?

How are you feeling today? Did they admit you after all or are you home?

[Fiasco]

Still in emergency

no beds available

[White_Rose]

My Dear Fiasco

Sorry I was not here this morning for you. Had a psych appointment and just sat when I got home. Always exhausting.

I do agree with Quercus. You cannot keep putting yourself last. Your children may well be the reason you are here but at the moment they are stressing you beyond your strength. I understand husbands who don't get it or who are afraid they will be lumbered with extra work. My GP wanted me to go to hospital as he said I had appendicitis, certainly in a lot of pain. Husband told me I was not in enough pain and did not have appendicitis. So I stayed home and gradually the pain went away. I still believe I should have been in hospital but what to do with the children.

But I could have died if the appendix had ruptured and you are also at risk. Make child minding arrangements for now and let your husband work out the rest. Please be completely open with the hospital staff about what is happening and include your husband's lack of support. Don't wait until you are forced into hospital under MH Act provisions. You will not like that.

The longer this situation goes on the more stressed and distressed you are becoming. This is the sort of thing that leads to rash actions. I do not want to see you in that situation. I realise that with several people urging you to do something is also adding to your distress and I am so sorry you are in this situation. We, the members of the Shaky Foundations Club, want only the best for you. If we could I'm certain we would all be there to hold your hand. Or more practically to look after your children. But we cannot do that. We can hold your hand metaphorically but I don't know how much help it is.

You are at the hospital. Insist they admit you. They can make the arrangements for your children.

I know it's hard to take in but you have nothing to be ashamed of. In fact you are to be commended because you are taking action to keep yourself well and safe. All this messing about in and out of hospital is stopping you thinking clearly. We know the first thing that goes under huge stress is the ability to think straight. So now grandma has spoken.

We are all wanting the best for you.

Mary

[Quercus]

Hi Fiasco,

I'm glad to hear you're at the hospital. Not glad you feel so low just relieved you're in a safe place. I hope they have a bed for you soon. I'm really proud of you. It might not be worth much to hear from a stranger but going to the ER and patiently waiting and feeling like they're just going to brush you off is the hardest thing to do. But you're worth taking care of.

I'm with Mary in that being anonymous makes it harder to watch. Not being able to give practical help is hard. But I am thinking of you. And hoping you are admitted soon and taken very seriously and supported.

I'm with you in spirit. Have been there surrounded by sick people are worrying about being sent away or brushed off. It's an awful fearful feeling when you're desperate for help. Hold firm and demand help. Absolute brutal honesty.

Please take care of yourself Fiasco. I like talking to you. I look forward to it when you're feeling a bit better and able to.