Oh my dear Fiasco
Life seems so hard for your at the moment. Have you had a change in meds, increase, decrease, different tablets? I know my pain killers were making me feel strange, a bit light headed and feeling invisible in a room full of people. Almost as though I was watching myself. Really odd, but now I am not taking these meds I feel OK.
Do you have a plan about what to do if you feel like self harm? There is the BB app available at the app store. It's called Beyond Now and I have found it very useful. I don't know if you really want to hurt yourself but I hope you do not do this. Have you any activities to do when you feel this way? Can you phone someone or do an activity that requires your full attention. Please try not to hurt yourself, it must be so painful and as I understand it, it's because you are trying to stop another hurt.
Can you phone a help line such as BB 1300 22 4636, or the Suicide Callback Service on 1300 659 467. They may be able to suggest something that will help you stay in control of yourself. I feel you don't really want to harm yourself and if it's because you are trying to wipe out another thought can you think of something else, something perhaps quite mundane. Have a mental walk around your garden and identify all your plants. Or if you do not have a garden, think of someone else's garden and walk around that.
Continue to write in here and talk about what ails you. There is always someone to answer. Above all, keep yourself safe. If you find this is not possible then contact the emergency services and they will help. But try the above phone numbers first.
Please take care of yourself.
Mary
