FESTIVE SEASON STRUGGLES

[Doolhof]

Season's Greetings everyone.

We have a lovely cheery Christmas and New Years thread started up in the Social Zone. Hope you can drop by there and share some joy and happiness.

This is the alternate thread, where you can share the not so pleasant memories of Christmas or the concerns you may have for Christmas 2016.

For me, my depressive brain decides to hassle me about Christmas in November! That is so unnecessary! I need to break this habit!

So on this thread you can share the negative and hopefully find a positive at the end.

You might like to share what the worst present was that you ever received, or how sad and miserable you are at Christmas.

By sharing, we may well be able to help and support each other through a time that can be very tough for some.

This is the place to vent, the thread on the Social Zone is also waiting for you to add your happy thoughts and memories of Christmas and New Years.

Thinking of you all, hugs from Mrs. Dools

[Doolhof]

Hey Shred,

Thanks for your understanding and comments.

Sounds like the hammock needs a huge shade screen over the top of it! Not sure which state you are in, here in S.A. if was rather hot on Saturday, but today Sunday, we had some rain in our region.

I let the hens out for a while. When I called them to return to their house and yard, they were soaked through. Seems like the rain didn't bother them too much. They did look funny. Not the weather for a hammock either!

Sorry to read the medication to help you sleep is causing side effects. Wouldn't it be wonderful if medication did what it was supposed to with out all the extra hassles!

A while ago I checked out the Christmas and New Year's thread. Some of the people there are posting some of the real Aussie songs for Christmas. One I have never heard before is about a Drive through along the line of 12 days of Christmas. Some of it was quite funny!

Today was quite busy for me, so I didn't have a great deal of free time to feel too anxious or stressed about Christmas so that was good!

Hopefully tomorrow I may feel more enthusiastic and at peace as well.

Saturday was not such a good day. Thankfully all days are not like that!

Cheers to you and thanks again from Mrs. Dools

[Doolhof]

Hi Girl Interupted,

Your plans for being with family sound good. Sometimes it is the simple things like looking at photos and playing games, interacting with each other, can make time together special.

My older sister knew I had made those Christmas items for her including wall hangings, Christmas decorations, Christmas Stockings from material and goodness knows what else. She just doesn't have a problem with speaking her mind.

Sometimes she thinks she is being clever, funny and witty not realising how hurtful her words can be. I know she has a lot of her own issues to deal with. It is interesting how we all try to deal with issues and our opinions of ourselves.

I don't have any favourite candles. I did light some today while my nieces were with us for the day. I had them burning on the table, they added a nice glow and warmth.

You mentioned how you have attending family gatherings while feeling depressed. I don't like attending some family events, but I do like my food! Ha. Ha. So I decide to enjoy the food and tell myself there are only 24 hours in each day.

Our family gatherings don't get mean and nasty or spiteful, I just think it is the ghosts of Christmas past that haunt me! Last year Mother made such an issue of Christmas, I didn't want to ever see her again. I haven't been able to let go of that or other past hurts that I have been bottling inside of me for ages.

Christmas will be very different for us this year.

Regarding Christmas cards, I have not felt at all comfortable even having Christmas cards in the house ready to write out. Maybe it will happen. Maybe it will not.

Either way, I need to telly myself it is okay.

Thanks for your thoughts and comments. Cheers from Mrs. Dools

[CompulsiveLiar]

Mrs Dools,

Xmas was just another excuse for my parents to fight. I keep away from all of it. Im not good with faking feelings so I dont know how to properly handle too much annoying pretentious cheerfulness. People that think that they need to fake happiness at this time of year do my head in sometimes. My Nan would tell people to leave their drama for the stage. She wasnt shy. I have good medication for when its too much for me, and the therapy helps. I do miss smiling though, which sounds stupid. I'd like to frown less. Beer and dim sims will most likely be my xmas lunch. Thats fine with me.

Panther

[Doolhof]

Hi Panther,

I love your picture, it is gorgeous, to me it is both ferocious and mysterious at the same time.

Considering last Christmas and all the manure that went with it, I now realise Mum was okay on the day, just leading up to Christmas was a huge nightmare.

My reactions are very similar! This last weekend was a very busy one. I worked myself up into a state before it even arrived. My depression, anxiety and stress levels rose immensely. Now it is Monday, I realise I enjoyed the weekend and could have experienced an even better time if my mental health issues hadn't escalated so much!

I might manage to write out some Christmas cards after all and maybe put up the Christmas tree! Miracles do happen.

Regarding smiling, I sometimes look for funny clips on the computer for a laugh and a smile. Click onto a "Laughing Therapy" session and see if that makes you laugh or not. Sometimes laughter can be contagious!

While walking down the street I smile at people and say hello. Some people smile back, others don't. Maybe being a middle aged female gives me the chance to do that without people thinking I am creepy! Ha. Ha.

Dim Sims sounds great. How about a yum cha feast? Do you have someone you could invite to join you?

My younger sister is really funny when she tries the fake cheerfulness! My older sister and Mum just say it as it is. I just bottle it all up inside which is not good either.

Good to know the medication and therapy are helping you.

This thread has been great therapy for me! Thank you so much everyone for joining in.

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

[Moonstruck]

Beer and Dim Sims sounds wonderful - can I come over? Mrs Dools suggested more Yum Cha Chinese nibbles...we could bring some. Our own private little pseudo-Christmas.....no need to fake, no need for drama, we don't even know each other....perfect!!! No need to prove anything, what we did all year, what we hope for next one, what we got so and so for Xmas, what they got us....none of us are interested!!!

We can sit in silence and enjoy our Dim Sims. I am not joking - I could handle that, no worries!!!

[Doolhof]

Hi Moonstruck,

Sounds excellent. Sometimes I think impromptu events like that are the best. No expectations, so no hassles!

I had been thinking of organising a Christmas day with friends and volunteering at a Christmas Day luncheon for people with no where to go until my husband organised the holiday we are going on.

I have no idea what we will be having for lunch or dinner on Christmas Day.

I'm also going to miss not being able to catch up with you all after the 19th of Dec until the 28th.

One day I went into a restaurant and asked for a table for one for Yum Cha. For those who don't know about Yum Cha, usually small plates of food are served in a Chinese restaurant with three of the same thing on the plate. That is my experience anyway.

So far I have not been game to try the chicken feet or the tripe. Any takers with either of those?

[CompulsiveLiar]

Mrs Dools. You are very sweet Mrs Dools. I'm smiling at you. I'm not good at this at all. Thanks for your kind words. A yum cha feast is right up my alley for xmas lunch. My shout. Bring your friends.

Panther

[CompulsiveLiar]

Moonstruck. Same goes for you, same as Mrs Dools. My shout to a dim sim xmas feast.

Mrs Dools - Chicken feet are good!

Panther

[Moonstruck]

Dear Folks.....I can feel a vent coming on..sorry. (please duck for cover now)

i can't stand it any more, this lead up to a date on the Calendar..it's everywhere!!! the street, the TV, the letter box, the shopping centre, each and every store, buying groceries with Carols playing playing playing - ALL of it getting inside my head. Combine that with heatwave weather conditions and tempers are frayed, thoughts jumbled, guilt about what to buy people when you are trying to save every cent.

I am at the end of this year's part time work commitments....(next year is my last, I have told the boss I am quitting after that but still he is pushing, pushing, pushing before he goes on a luxury holiday)

I am finding it so hard to switch off this season stress and concentrate on everyday routine work things - people I have to deal with seem to be going at full steam, cramming every moment before they "go on holidays, take a break, have the relatives arriving or whatever". Everyone seems in a hurry - I can't keep up. I am going under .. hoping everyone else is having a better time of it from today onto December 25....I can't bear it!

[girl_interrupted]

Hey Moonstruck. Had to reply to your post. I totally hear you! OMG it's like Armaggeddon! A flood of festive BS everywhere you look! This is why I'm a grinch this time of year. Gosh I hate it lol. I hate the do-gooders with their over-the-top optimism and boasting about their amazing holidays booked etc.. AND don't get me started on all the romantic notions of NYE being with the one you love and blah blah (*dry reach). Yes, there's so much pressure to buy gifts for people who will undoubtedly pretend to like your gift and then throw it out or donate it to charity. I hate going shopping. Hell, I hate it at the best of times but this time of year - it's like a freakin tsunami of screaming kids and festive sensationalism. The carols repeat in my head and really drive me nuts. Last xmas I had to hide myself in a dark room (at work) to try and calm down coz it was getting to me so much - the boss thought carols were a good idea and played them over and over the whole 8 hours. It was torture! Anyway I really get ya. Not everyone finds this time of year "joyful". I also think about all the people who are missing out, without family, without a home, doin it tough etc. Just makes me sad.

I hope you can find some peace.

Dont'quit your job! Find another one, and then stick it up him!

The only thing I'm really lookin forward to is having a couple of drinks. Take care for now x