Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Feeling down due to fatigue & undiagnosed health issues

Elizabeth CP
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

I haven't been using the forums much apart from a couple of responses to others posts. I stopped as I was too busy & trying to keep up with the forums was becoming too stressful. In September My husband went to Europe which was great although tiring due to the pace of the tour we did. Unfortunately a few days before returning home I fell heavily on concrete steps hurting my right side. I continued on relying on icepacks to manage the pain. I couldn't sleep because of the pain when lying down. The last day I came down with a bad cold which developed into a chest infection later on. The pain eased after 6 weeks & I recovered from the chest infection but have ongoing problems with fatigue & abdominal discomfort. My GP arranged pathology tests. The blood tests are normal but urine isn't. Today I was sent for a ultrasound of kidneys & bladder. Next week I have a gastroscopy & colonoscopy. My stress levels seem to be escalating out of proportion each time I see the GP & get sent for more tests. Prior to my accident my mental health issues were settling down but the last week it is much worse. I have lost my temper a few times in the last week without much provocation. This is not normal for me. I have been on a diet for several months but I am now finding it really hard to stick to it I just want to go & eat food I know will make me feel worse. The diet is a healthy one which I normally find easy to stick to because the food is satisfying.

I just want to get back on track & feel in control of my life & not feel so stressed & down. I also feel guilty for feeling this way because There is no confirmation of a serious illness.

974 Replies 974

Hey Elizabeth and everyone ☺

Thanks hun but never be sorry about a late reply especially that possibly it might add to how you're feeling. I know you respond when you can.
And here's about no hurry to reply. It needs to be when you're up to.

Very good news your backs on the mend. They're terribly painful.
As you are it's handy to keep it in the back of the mind to be careful. When we have troubles they're very unpredictable

That would be very upsetting Dil going off at you poor lady. It hurts doesn't it being on the receiving end from a major tanty by the sounds.
Sheez she sounds pretty hard to get along with having a go at everyone.
How's the relationship in calmer times?

My thoughts are you have a right to speak to who you want surely.
They probs needed someone to talk to. Understandable.
Ok she was upset but others were too by the sounds because of how she was.
Possibly she felt ganged up on which I don't think for a second was anyones intention and being so angry let it out on you but I don't know the story just a thought.
Doesn't make it ok to go crook at you though.

Not good it being uncomfortable to see grandies either.
Hopefully when she cools off things might be smoothed out.

Shame that happened and you've been having a hard time and in recovery from your back pain its no wonder you're feeling overwhelmed with so much on and lots to do.

Darl under stress it's difficult to think further.
I wonder if there are things that can wait till later.
Is there anyone that can help hun you poor soul you sound so stressed I do feel for you.

Hope you're finding life a little better a lot easier would be ideal of course.

Better days hun ⚘Time keeps us moving through the hard times.

Thank you for your caring reply.

I think I have to accept that I can't change my DIL. At Christmas I will just have to make sure I offer to help my other DIL with things that keep me away from the problem DIL. It isn't ideal but I can't do much else.

I spoke to my psych about what happened but that stirred things up making me feel very agitated. My psych has seen/ heard my DIL from a distance. She is so loud that anyone within 100m of her quickly gets an idea what she is like.

I was triggered badly yesterday by something on the news. I switched it off but the distressing image was already imprinted on my mind impossible to get rid of.

Today I've been better than yesterday but still tired and depressed. Yesterday I was extremely depressed.


It is sad when it is hard to have time with your grandchildren due to your DIL.

Does she argue with everyone .?

I am glad you a had a better day after your vet depressed day.

Christmas is supposed to be a oeacefulnt8me but so often it is full of conflict and arguments. I hope it works out ok.

It has been a hard year for your, it would be nice to have a calm Christmas.
take care

My DIL argues with everyone. At least it is not me.

Today visited my daughter but ended up with my SIL very upset with me. I offered to help them move but he thought I was trying to pressure him so it took ages until he calmed down and listened to my apology & my explanation of what I was offering to do. He has been under a lot of stress lately which led to him overreacting. Unlike my DIL this is not typical of him. I'm feeling very overwhelmed ATM & have lots on. I was hoping to get some definite times to help them move so I can keep the times that suit clear. They just got the key to their new house yesterday &my daughter wanted to be in ASAP so they could enjoy Christmas in the new house. My son & DIL (nearby ones) offered to hlp next weekend & asked me to arrange it but my SIL didn't want this help.

I feel like I'm unable to communicate with anyone without causing problems which is making me feel terrible.

Hi Elizabeth Quirky and everyone ☺

Hope todays shaping up to a good one for you hun. It sounds like it's been pretty rough with people which hurts a lot at anytime but worse when your hearts opening to help them and they react badly. Ok your sons been under high stress that can contort our view on things but still must have hurt. Good youse seemed to get it sorted. Frustrating being misunderstood but clear now that's great.

It's so kind to offer help with moving it's a massive job. Pos they aren't sure of dates at this stage.

It'd make it easier I'd think to not take it so much to heart that dil argues with everyone as she was. Still not much chop is it.

Often people let their worst out under pressure on the people they love the most. Maybe because they know deep down that person won't drop them.

I know with your sister you walk at times do you think that or somewhere close by could help you destress. Feel sorry for you lovey.

See you later darl sometime. Remember to take short periods of time to think it through over a cuppa and breathe nice deep and slowly a few times ☺ If on exhaling tell yourself to feel your shoulders physically soften. Helps


Today & yesterday I've felt really down. Yesterday was busy with my husband's appointments. Today I was really unmotivated so achieved nothing.

I got a text from my SIL apologising for how he reacted which was nice but I'm still concerned how to help without upsetting him.

I walk with my son sometimes. My only sister lived in the US so can't walk with her. My son is really busy particularly now lockdown is finished he needs to catch up on things he couldn't do in lockdown so don't see him so much.

My appointment with the exposure therapist tomorrow has been cancelled which is upsetting.

I don't know what is wrong with me.

Hi Elizabeth and everyone ☺

Dear lady it's awful feeling like that. Sometimes when everything builds up it seems like it won't change but it does with time in most cases which doesn't really help for now though does it.

From what I'm hearing you have quite a lot on at the moment (atm) and with looking after dear hubby it's understandable finding it all full on poor thing

There's been so much grief for people with covid and it can be a stressful time of yr on top I wonder if that's frazzling people. So good your sil apologised.

I guess but don't know if you've been sleeping enough, as you'd no doubt well know that has it's own world of stress for us and lifes so much harder in those times. In a way I hope a big contributor is tiredness because then when you catch up things will be lighter to cope with.

Something that sounds easy and you might be aware of and well worth the effort is thinking and feeling the memories of pleasure you've had in your life darl.

Could be time with Grandies, a craft or hobby, walks a TV show anything hun. Our minds need to have good stimulation to pull out of the darks.

I get a lot wrong in Bipolar during episodes. I thought you use to have walks with your sister but evidentally not...would be a mighty good walk going to America lol.

If you drive maybe you could find a lovely spot amongst nature I know you like that from the walking thread.

Hope you have a restful sleep tonight and wake with more energy and and feeling a sense of peace.

See you next time ☺

Afraid I don't have enough faith to walk on water so won't be walking to America to walk with my sister!!!!! I had a good friend who I used to visit regularly and we would go for walks. Covid has stopped that. Even now she is avoiding contact with people to stop Covid. Even physical distancing from her husband 'just in case' --separate bedroom and sit on chairs distanced from each other!!! She lives in an area which has had no Covid cases. I have told her I'm happy to visit when she wants me to but she needs to ring when she is ready. I don't want to pressure her.

Sleep has been an issue so I often wake exhausted. Resting during the day messes with my sleep & makes me feel more useless. Pushing myself makes me more tired.

This afternoon one grandson is visiting after school with his dad for a lesson in making fruit mince pies. His mum hates dried fruit so won't make them. My 6yr old grandson is excited so it will be nice. We might use the mince I've made to make some pies for us to eat then we'll make some more mince to replace it.

Hi Elizabeth I read your post before. Just want you to know I'll be back later (bbl) with a reply ☺

Hope your days are being good and you're feeling even a little better.

See you near future πŸ–

Sorry things have been really busy. Sat helped my son move some of my daughters things into her new house while daughter & SIL had to attend a wedding!!! We didn't get as much done as we hoped but left things in a reasonable state so they can pack & move more when they are ready. Unfortunately I was tired to start with & became dizzy while unloading 2nd load so had to rest. Still felt guilty not helping my son. My son rang after we got home to check I was OK. I really appreciated him caring about me. Yesterday was going to be quiet but ended up spending the afternoon with son & grandson's exploring some parks which were out of our limit in lockdown. Bit tiring but nice to see grandson's having fun doing crazy things!!! I'm still very tired so trying to take it easier today. Unfortunately it is hot.

Will talk more when my mind is straight so I can think.