Feeling down due to fatigue & undiagnosed health issues

[Elizabeth CP]

I haven't been using the forums much apart from a couple of responses to others posts. I stopped as I was too busy & trying to keep up with the forums was becoming too stressful. In September My husband went to Europe which was great although tiring due to the pace of the tour we did. Unfortunately a few days before returning home I fell heavily on concrete steps hurting my right side. I continued on relying on icepacks to manage the pain. I couldn't sleep because of the pain when lying down. The last day I came down with a bad cold which developed into a chest infection later on. The pain eased after 6 weeks & I recovered from the chest infection but have ongoing problems with fatigue & abdominal discomfort. My GP arranged pathology tests. The blood tests are normal but urine isn't. Today I was sent for a ultrasound of kidneys & bladder. Next week I have a gastroscopy & colonoscopy. My stress levels seem to be escalating out of proportion each time I see the GP & get sent for more tests. Prior to my accident my mental health issues were settling down but the last week it is much worse. I have lost my temper a few times in the last week without much provocation. This is not normal for me. I have been on a diet for several months but I am now finding it really hard to stick to it I just want to go & eat food I know will make me feel worse. The diet is a healthy one which I normally find easy to stick to because the food is satisfying.

I just want to get back on track & feel in control of my life & not feel so stressed & down. I also feel guilty for feeling this way because There is no confirmation of a serious illness.

[Croix]

DDear Elizabeth,

Don't give it another thought. As I sit with you sometimes I think of an idea worth exploring, if it does not fit no harm done.

Not knowing what will help is a problem, which is why I thought your suggestion of the speech pathologist making a list was a good idea. Combined with your thoughts on reading it you may end up with something of value.

Your taste in TV and comedy requires no explanation, it is simply you, and that's fine. I am different, I remember seeing one of the first TVs of the 50's, which was small, round and green. It belonged to my grandfather and was patently uninteresting to a small boy.

Croix

[Elizabeth CP]

Thanks Croix.

The last 2 days have been full on. My head was spinning last night trying to work out how to manage today without forgetting anything important & trying work out how to get between appointments on time. I kept waking up during the night because of the stress. Despite this we have been successful. I managed to make a number of important calls to book things. Plumber arrived unexpectedly to look at the house to work out how to fix some things which he finished today. I hope it has worked. Need to wait for next downpour to find out!!!!

Then had an appointment with someone assisting my husband to use technology for the blind. Had thought of cancelling but didn't get around to it. Session proved very valuable as she taught me a lot so I can help him remember what to do. This was followed by useful but intense session with speech therapist. We reviewed the events in the hospital & then discussed plans for the future to avoid a repetition of the problems. While she was there I managed to arrange an appointment with a specialist for today. This meant cancelling another appointment & meant my psych appointment had to be cut short but the alternative was a long wait.

Today I saw the therapist re exposure therapy. I had typed up a summary of my issues & what ad affected me as well as what I need to achieve. This was rushed because of the extra stuff that needed doing but it helped. I gave it to him at the start & tried to explain how I felt. This helped as he focused on putting the events into perspective & gave me some things to do at home to help reduce the anxiety & the negative thoughts associated with the events.

Then saw my normal psych who focuses on the normal stresses. He made some suggestions but I need to work out how to follow through because they are not easy. Finally saw husband's specialist. Pretty intense session explaining what had been going wrong but he'd read all the reports I'd arranged to be sent by the GP & Speech therapist including hospital reports. He still had access to all the earlier tests & reports from 5 years ago. He has asked for a surgeon to review my husband to see if surgery is worth trying. At leat my husband knows this specialist is doing his best to find the most effective solution even if it turns out there is nothing that can be done.

I need a quiet night to think about nothing!!!!

[Croix]

Dear Elizabeth~

That sounds an amazing couple of days, with a lot accomplished both for your husband and yourself. It really helps if the specialist has read up on the matter before you get there, a hopeful sign.

How would your husband feel about an operation?

A pity your therapy session was cut short, but being so organized and having a typed summary may well have made up for that.

It's true, Access Technology training from Vision Australia or some other body to use technology assists both the person and the carer, it gives you specific knowledge of how to help.

I do hope you can mange some rest this evening

Croix

[blondguy]

Hello Elizabeth

I really wish I had your strength. You are proactive with not only your own well being yet also your husband and your son combined. Good on you for persisting with the counsellors too 🙂

Croix is spot on when he posted... on Jan 23...

"The only thing I'm certain of is you are as strong as they come"

my kindest always Elizabeth

Paul

[Elizabeth CP]

Thanks Paul & Croix, I wish I had the strength you think I have. I cope when things are going OK or I have the support I need to manage difficult things. The speech therapist is so helpful. Sessions like this week can be stressful because she's not afraid to ask hard questions & bring up very confronting topics like what will I do when my hsb faces a life or death decision what do we do. Having her support to talk through issues and get her advice & support really helps me. She's often rung other health professionals on our behalf to ensure they understand hsb's needs.

Paul if I said what you did you would tell me off for judging. We are all in different situations with different strengths & weaknesses so can't compare.

I am going to a friends overnight to have a break. Hsb will come because I don't have the time or energy to arrange carers for him but at least I'll have my freind to take my mind off problems

[Croix]

Dear Elizabeth~

"I am going to a friends overnight to have a break." A good thought. I hope it goes well.

I'm very glad for you that speech therapist is so proactive, sensible and thoughtful, someone like that can make a huge difference, it's great she came into your lives.

Croix

[blondguy]

Hello Elizabeth

This is your thread topic and can say whatever you wish to me and I would never think you are judgemental at all....as you mentioned we are all different and experience varying degrees of life events

What did I say?......just asking if thats okay 🙂 Im just a volunteer on Beyond Blue sharing my life experience as you know

Good on you for taking a break with your friend..and your hubby too Elizabeth

my kindest always

Paul

[Elizabeth CP]

Sorry, Trouble with the forums is your not on real time so you say what you think is obvious & then realise you've given the completely wrong impression.

You said I really wish I had your strength. Implying you are weaker than me. In other words judging yourself based on what you think I'm like. I meant you would tell me off for putting myself down I didn't mean anything bad about you. You do your very best to help everyone based on your own experiences. I really appreciate your input. Sorry for implying you'd done something wrong. sorry I need to get to bed so can't say anything more

[Elizabeth CP]

I'm still very much up & down & very fragile. Usually I set goals & just push through to get there but no longer have the strength or willpower to do this. Yesterday I went to the Carers Gym which I normally find really good but I had no energy & had to force myself to do the exercises which led to me breaking down. Later I reacted really badly to something my husband did. My reaction was way out of proportion & certainly didn't help either of us. I'm struggling coming to terms with being so mentally unwell. Before I knew I was depressed & had some anxiety but I would 'get over it once things settled down." I would try to exercise & do the things needing doing so I could feel a sense of control. Regular visits with my psych helped keep me on track or get out of a hole after things went wrong. Now I feel hopeless as nothing works or I get a tiny relief when things go OK but the smallest thing sends me over the cliff. Feeling this bad is scary because I have no options. I can't afford to get sick & go to hospital because my husband needs me. Having seen what has happened to my son once he's linked with the mental health system is very frightening.

I did speak to someone today who is going to try to arrange some help but unsure when that ill happen. Ineed help now to stop going over the edge

[Croix]

Dear Elizabeth~

It is frustrating, worryng and sometimes even frightening when one hits a particularly bad patch any any little thing seems to trigger a huge reaction.

I would imagine your husband would take that over reaction as waht it was, a stressed person having difficulties.

Do you have any news about help as yet?

Croix