Feeling down due to fatigue & undiagnosed health issues

[Elizabeth CP]

I haven't been using the forums much apart from a couple of responses to others posts. I stopped as I was too busy & trying to keep up with the forums was becoming too stressful. In September My husband went to Europe which was great although tiring due to the pace of the tour we did. Unfortunately a few days before returning home I fell heavily on concrete steps hurting my right side. I continued on relying on icepacks to manage the pain. I couldn't sleep because of the pain when lying down. The last day I came down with a bad cold which developed into a chest infection later on. The pain eased after 6 weeks & I recovered from the chest infection but have ongoing problems with fatigue & abdominal discomfort. My GP arranged pathology tests. The blood tests are normal but urine isn't. Today I was sent for a ultrasound of kidneys & bladder. Next week I have a gastroscopy & colonoscopy. My stress levels seem to be escalating out of proportion each time I see the GP & get sent for more tests. Prior to my accident my mental health issues were settling down but the last week it is much worse. I have lost my temper a few times in the last week without much provocation. This is not normal for me. I have been on a diet for several months but I am now finding it really hard to stick to it I just want to go & eat food I know will make me feel worse. The diet is a healthy one which I normally find easy to stick to because the food is satisfying.

I just want to get back on track & feel in control of my life & not feel so stressed & down. I also feel guilty for feeling this way because There is no confirmation of a serious illness.

[Guest_2496]

Hi Elizabeth

Just jumping online quickly - wondered whether www.patientadvocates.com.au would be helpful to you?

[Elizabeth CP]

Thanks Annie, I looked up the website but don't think it will help It would be yet another person to explain everything to and make more work.The Nurse Unit Manager spoke to me today to say they receivved my complaint & it had been escalated to the head doctors in the hospital. She thanked me for the complaint as hopefully it will stop this happening to others.

Husband comes home tomorrow even though he is worse than when admitted. They have decided it is too risky to do any more investigations or treatment. The one test they did do showed a marked deteriration compared to last year so there is an increased risk of aspiration pneumonia which he;s had several times and each time is more serious.

I saw my psychologist today. It was a difficult session as I was struggling to talk because things feel so hopeless. My task for this week until I see him next is to do enough to keep myself & my husband alive!!! It was confronting to have him confirm how bad I am at the moment but at least he understands it. I'm normally the type who pushes to keep going & does what I can to help myself get better so so being told I'm too exhausted & vulnerable to even try to help myself was hard. I don't know how it will be with my husbad home as things have gone downhill so much fo him.

[Croix]

Dear Elizabeth~

Like you said in another thread "I've no answers" either. I care and can sit beside you in my mind, you are not alone - you know that already from others.

The only thing I'm certain of is you are as strong as they come.

Croix

[Elizabeth CP]

Thanks Croix, I appreciate your support even if it is just knowing someone cares & is listening. I disagree with your last sentence. At the moment I feel weak & vulnerable. I don't have the strength to fight this any more. I overreact when even little things go wrong.

My husband is home. He is much better at home but I'm still trying to sort out the next steps. Trying to make appointments & thinking of having to explain the situation to try to get better help/advise feels overwhelming.

[Croix]

Dear Elizabeth~

"I disagree with your last sentence"

You wanna have an argument?:)

It is precisely when you feel as you do now but keep on trying the best you can that IS strength. Overreaction is pretty standard too, a gift from anxiety. I have that and it can take someone else to give me perspective and a more realistic approach.The more stress the more it happens.

As you no doubt will be talking to a variety of different medical people do you write out a set of case notes for them to read -or you read aloud? That might make it a litle easier for you each time.

Croix

[Elizabeth CP]

I requested a full discharge summary including results of test which were performed. This will be sent to the GP. Can't get it in myself!!!! I will get this from the GP to take to other specialist appointments so they don't waste time redoing the same things. We see his speech Pathologist on Tuesday. Hopefully she has a hand over from hospital SP. If not she will ring to request one immediately. She will discuss what has happened & help us come up with a workable plan to manage situation. I might get her to help us write a list of the issues needing to be addressed. I'm too emotionally vulnerable to be effective on my own at the moment.

I don't think we're allowed to argue & I'm not in a position to argue effectively because I'm not strong enough!!!!

Your comment You wanna have an argument?:) sounds like something my siblings would say. Even my grandkids have a very cheeky sense of humor so your comment reminded me of times were we stir each other in fun. I need to go to bed & hopefully sleep

[Croix]

Dear non-arguing Elizabeth~

I think your idea of having either the speech pathologist or some other professional help you write down the points that need addressing is an excellent one. Sometimes one can omit things just due to pressure.

Are you familiar with the Monty Python Argument Sketch? It's available on YouTube is you wished to refresh your memory

Croix

[Elizabeth CP]

I've never seen Monty Python.

[Croix]

Well, maybe not everybody's cup of tea but most find some parts enjoyable. I suspect the silliness of the argument scene might amuse you

-C

[Elizabeth CP]

Sorry I sounded abrupt in my previous post. I'm just struggling to manage all the competing demands while trying not to make myself worse by doing too much or feeling worthless because I neglect essential things & then get into a bigger mess. I'm a lot better with my husband home but still very fragile & exhausted. I can't ask for help because I don't know what will help me. The effort of thinking what I need is too much.

I never watched TV as a teenager or young adult. When my parents bought a TV I left the room whenever it was switched on. Someone bought us a TV years after we were married because they felt sorry for us because we didn't have one when we chose not to buy one. I don't know why I was so funny about TV. I remember my parents trying to make me do 'fun'activities like go to the cinema because they thought I was too serious & spent too much time studying. I avoided all comedy at the same period and still don't enjoy most comedy. I know this makes no sense.