DEPRESSION: Fight it or embrace it?

[Doolhof]

Right now I feel like I don't have the energy to do either. Just existing is difficult enough. I've been trying to "float" this one out but the Black Dog is right there trying to drag me under.

My Psychologist tells me to embrace the depression, to accept it, to make the most of those rotten days when you feel like you can't do a thing. To just live with it and the sting of the depression will ease away. If I don't feed it, it will give up.

I must be doing something wrong as all that seems to do is escalate how horrid I feel, I break down in tears and feel like "what is the point" this monster is winning.

Depression. BPD. Stress. Suicidal thoughts. Maybe I do need to find ways to embrace these issues before they totally destroy me. But how?

Maybe I could try poetry, I've already painted a couple of pictures showing what is going on in my head, maybe more paintings or drawings might help get the muck out.

I'm just so tired and exhausted. Mental health issues suck!

Fighting it is exhausting. Trying to embrace it is soul destroying.

ACCEPTANCE! Where the hell is ACCEPTANCE! Think it ran away with HOPE!

Wishing you all a sense of acceptance and hope!

Cheers from a battered feeling Dools

[startingnew]

Hi Mrs D

Just popping in to see how things are going for you?

im sure your garden is loveley! what sorts of plants do you have if you dont mind me asking? i would love to give gardening ago but where im living i dont have room for a garden. might get some pot plants though for the verandah. i loved the analogy youve used in regards to mh and gardening. its not one i hear everyday.

sorry to hear about your back though, ive got back issues too and they can be hard to manage. have you got things that help you pain manage and reduce the stress on your spine?

i hope you enjoy the time in your garden, its a loveley day here so might go for a walk myself this afternoon.

sending positive thoughts and good vibes oh and some hugs xoxo

[Ggrand]

Hello Dools, I have the same problems here, severely hot summers and big frosts and bitterly cold winters. I started a garden two years ago just after I moved in..I put pretty flowers in ..unfortunately they didn't survive the summer, I have some native bottle brushes, which I love and so do the birds..My succulents and geraniums seemed to survive okay..I have a frangipani tree as well in a large pot which I really have to care for by covering in winter etc. it's never flowered in over two years..

You sound like you have a Lovely day planned for yourself..Please take care of your back..and take things slowly.

Sound so simple to do Dools, remove our negatives (weeds) to let the positives grow, easier said then done, but yes it can be done with proper nurturing and constant "weeding". I like that way of looking at our Mental Health..It actually helped me today as some negatives was telling me I'm no good for anything...I dug the weed out and now I'm trying to feed the positives..So thank you Dools for putting Mental Health care into that perspective.💜..

Ive been meaning to ask you for some time..your avatar are those flowers from your garden?

Warm and gentle hugs,

Grandy

[Birdy77]

To The Dools, and hi everyone 😊

Mrs D, your positivity, cheer and constructive awesomeness never ceases to inspire me! You're a wonder! As The Deebs (another wonder!) said: nothing short of inspirational!

Your gardening analogy about our mental health reminded me of a sentence I read the other day by poet/author May Sarton:

Help us to be ever faithful gardeners of the spirit, who know that without darkness nothing comes to birth, and without light nothing flowers.

Hope you are enjoying your garden today Dools. I am so envious of 5 acres! My imagination is going wild just thinking about it. That is my dream to be on five acres...

Go gently everyone.

🌻birdy

[Chloe_M]

Hey guys,

Grandy I agree with you, i like the thought of weeds being our MH issue etc.

Birdy hello, haven't seen you in a while, nice to see you again 🙂

If I put this weeding analogy into context today, I am chocked with weeds. School started back today, am very anxious. Its unbearable. Also the majority of my friends are away on a hike, they won't be back until Thursday and have no service... therefore I can't contact them 😞

I hope that everyone else isn't struggling like I am today. I wouldn't wish this condition on an enemy.

Chloe

[Tams20]

Hi Mrs Dools,

I haven’t had time to read through this entire thread (am supposed to be working 😬) but in answer to your original post re: whether to fight or embrace depression...

I used to always fight my depression. Possibly because I didn’t recognise it for what it was. I’d tell myself to ‘snap out of it’, to get moving, get out and do something, to not ‘wallow in self-pity’. Sometimes it was helpful, if I needed to get things done, but most of the time I don’t think it was good for me. I was pretty tough on myself, the old Inner Critic was loud and ruthless, it certainly didn’t do anything for my confidence or longer-term happiness.

Now I try to embrace it a little more, when I can afford the time. Try to take some time out and think my way through it. Work out why I am feeling that way, allow myself to ‘wallow’... I find that I drift out the other side eventually and things start to improve.

Tams

[Doolhof]

Hello dear lovely people,

I haven't made it out to the garden yet. I will need to put in ear plugs as we have trucks and graders working on the road out the front, the sound of the graders engine droning away is hurting my ears. I am inside with a musical CD playing quite loudly!

SN we have a lot of native plants in the garden, some smallish type gum trees, roses (that look very sick at the moment!) and a sprinkling of things like geraniums and succulents that get severely frost bitten in the winter!

If we had a permanent water source I would have loved to have planted a lot more natives to make our own little nature paradise. We are also in a high bushfire zone so need to find a balance with a bushy garden and one that is fire safe!

My spine keeps on degenerating and is now catching nerves left, right and centre. Nothing much seems to help. I am starting a pain clinic next week so will see what comes of that. I have tried to get in to one for 20 years! Better late than never! Ha. Ha. Thanks for the hugs and kind thoughts!

Grandy, the flowers on my avatar are from a tulip field in Holland. The only time our garden has that many flowers is when the sower sobs are in bloom! Ha. Ha. When we first moved here, I let some plants grow wondering what they were, they turned out to be Salvation Jane or Patterson's Curse as it is also known. Very pretty but a weed all the same.

Keep up the "weeding" Grandy. I had to do a little weeding and pruning myself again this morning before I even got up. My mind was having a wonderful time trying to create a jungle of weeds for me to try to get though. Thankfully I had my pruning sheers with me and a heavy duty lawnmower! I chopped those thoughts down before I was out of bed.

Otherwise I may have need a truck load of Round-Up to control the infestation my mind was trying to create! For me it is interesting to look at my mental health this way, seems to make it more manageable somehow!

Cheers dears from Mrs. Dools...and my gardening tips on how to deal with mental health issues!

[Doolhof]

Birdy, Hi. Thanks for sharing the quote you mentioned. Another one about gardens that I like it "Bloom where you are planted." Reminds me that I can try to be kind to people where ever I happen to be.

Some days I would gladly give up these 5 acres of land for a suburban back yard, especially so when my back is aching and I am in tears just looking at the garden let alone trying to do anything in it. Yes you are right though Birdy, 5 acres is lovely. It would be even more lovely if it did not back onto a highway with trucks running along it 24 hours a day. Oh dear I am having a bit of a grumble!

Thanks to you too for your kind words Birdy. I greatly appreciate them.

Chloe, sorry to read you are struggling so much returning to school and missing your friends. I'm going to teach that black dog that is hanging around you how to pull up those blasted weeds and then teach it how to sit on your lap and snuggle up to you to offer you comfort. That blasted feral cat is going to learn how to sit behind you and give you shoulder and head massages.

I'm sending out a huge cloud of Round Up vapours to get rid of the weeds the black dog does not manage to pull up!

Chloe, I hate days like the one you are having. I really hope you manage to find some way to brighten up your day, to accept some of the weeds and find a pathway through them.

Hugs to you Chloe!

Tams thanks for the great explanation of how fighting or embracing depression has worked for you and how you have changed your thinking regarding fighting it. I'm sure in the past when I have tried to fight my depression I have made it worse as well.

My psychologist keeps reminding me I need to accept my depression. It is not easy to do always, but is helping.

I'm reading another self help book at the moment, and plan to take some notes and share some of the helpful tips in it.

That is one of the great things about this forum, is all the information sharing and support!

Thanks everyone for sharing here.

Hugs to you all from Dools

[Chloe_M]

Hi Dools thanks for the reply.

That black dog and that feral cat need some talking to. They are evil creatures but it’s mostly the cat today. I call her Anxiety Kitty lol.

I am holding out for Thursday 😁 glad I’m typing on my phone now I can use emojis 😁😉🙋🏽‍♀️👍😋

well best be off I have tutoring now yay not I’ll be back soon though 😈

chloe 🧡💛

[Doolhof]

Hi Chloe,

I don't know how to do emoji thingys. If I did I would send a huge rat for that Anxiety Kitty to chase so it left you alone for a while!

Hope the tutoring goes well!

I'm going to brave that awful noise outside soon and get some gardening done. Hey Chloe, toss me that darn cat, I will see if it wants to run up a tree for a while!

Deep breathes Chloe, one step at a time! Cheers from Dools

[Chloe_M]

Hi Dools

Haha anything to get that cat away. Here you can take it and shove it up a tree full of rats.

tutoring was good. I usually don’t want to go I just want go go home and lie around but it really helps me so it’s worth it. I’m just on the train home now I can do some relaxing at last 😅

Hugs from Chloe 😘☺️