Challenging unhelpful thoughts

[Doolhof]

Who comes up with these terms and phrases like "Unhelpful thoughts" and "sometimes foods" . Why can't we just say it as it is!

I feel so damned depressed and down right now I don't want to be here any more. My mood is telling me that I need a truck load of Some times food...all the chocolate, mud cake, Tim Tams, Mars Bars, Bounties and Hedgehog slices I can find. That is just for today.

I'm trying to fight this depression. I really am. It has such a hold on me right now it is like wrestling a tiger.

I've just had two weeks in a local hospital where unfortunately the only thing they had to offer for mental health issues was little pills and a glass of water to calm me down, a 5 minute chat with a nurse if she had time, advise to look in a magazine, think happy thoughts, go for a walk out on the locked verandah area, have a cup of tea and see if there is something nice to watch on t.v.

All very helpful ideas if you are mildly depressed, but when you are beyond the unhelpful thoughts and feelings, it was like trying to put a cork in a volcano.

Now I am home and trying not to go crazy. I have been using the phone help lines. One lady recognises me now as soon as she answers and hears my voice!

All I want to do all day is to cry, to scream, to sleep, to take more pills to make the pain and the hours in the day disappear.

This is a horrid way to try to live.

I'm trying to get some fresh air, do a bit of gardening, eat mostly healthy food, plan something pleasant to do each day and all those good things.

This darn depression, the sadness, the dark clouds of misery, the sense of no hope and no point keep hanging around. I wish they would take off and let me have some peace for a while.

I feel like I am running out of energy to keep fighting this. But fight I must. I can't give up. That feels like an option, but I know it is not the way to go.

Next Friday I am seeing a psychologist. An appointment I made way back in November. Hope she has some ideas on how to beat this.

"Unhelpful Thoughts" just doesn't express it enough.

I doubt the moderators would publish the words I would like to use right now to express my depression!

[Guest_1055]

Ah Mrs D, that must be terribly confusing thinking you have done something and you haven't done it. And your brain does sound muddled. You poor thing. Did the GP say how long these side affects are likely to last!

Hey maybe you could sit down have a go at painting something. What do you normally paint anyway? It is something creative and a bit of an adventure to see what you paint while you are feeling muddled for the time being.

I am thinking of you Mrs D. Much love to you.

Shell xx

[Doolhof]

Hi Shell,

Thanks. Maybe I will give the paints a try tomorrow. I'm going to push myself out the door in the morning and will join some ladies in a craft group I first attended last fortnight.

Usually my paintings are quite basic with bright colours. I enjoy pottering with the paints and leave master pieces to others. I went to a painting exhibition recently and greatly admired the work on display.

I will leave myself a note so I remember I was going to get my paints out! Ha. Ha.

Cheers from Mrs. Dools

[The_Abyss]

Mrs D

I have come across your posts before and the helpful posts you have made in response to others. Today is the first day I have read through YOUR thread, seen the pain, the struggle, felt the drowning. The problems with your health, your meds, your support. I can relate too well to the depths of your despair at the moment as I am there drowning along side you. I can't save me just now, but perhaps knowing someone else is beside you so you don't need to drown alone may help ease the despair.

"We suffer in silence and no one cares....if we call out for help we are ignored ..... sinking, sinking, sinking". Know that your call has been heard and those around you care deeply. May someone help you see through your fog soon so together we may swim to safety.

TA

[Doolhof]

Hi TA,

I was about to respond to you when the neighbours dropped by to see if I would like to go walking with them and their dogs. I enjoyed the ladies company and the exuberance of the dogs.

Thanks for the very kind words you have shared with me, as have others recently. It certainly does help to know that people care.

TA I will share my pool noodle with you, I can see some life jackets on a wave a head of us, and I am sure there is a life raft out there somewhere close by.

Together we can kick and scream and make our way towards the shore.

Once there, it may take us a while to catch our breath and get moving again. It is okay to rest a while.

You and others here have helped me see through the fog. I hope I am able to help and support you in some way TA. You know you are always more than welcome to share more of how you are feeling here or else where on the forum.

I also realise that for me at the moment, mornings have become a dark place. I don't understand it. I need to work with it and through it. The tears flow but I know they will stop.

This morning I opened all of the curtains, went out into the sun and worked a little while in the garden. I even sat for some time doing nothing but looking at a tree, in the sun. It was peaceful.

Hang in there TA, you are not alone either.

Cheers from Mrs. D

[The_Abyss]

So glad Mrs D that you got to enjoy that walk. Sharing it with two and four-legged friends makes it even better.

I accept your offer of a pool noodle! I'm afraid the water may be full of stingers and sharks that impede our progress, but I take your offer to swim though the fog with you. May you remember this in the morning as the fog descends again.

Take care

TA

[The_Abyss]

Mrs D -

it's morning time. Just wishing you a little sunshine to help dispel the morning darkness. Now head out to the garden ......

take care

TA

[Doolhof]

Hi TA,

Thanks so much for your message. I have some shark repellent with me so those blighters won't be chomping at our toes.

Yesterday I did a bit of research about the Morning Depression. I am going to take it a lot easier on myself in the mornings now I understand what is happening.

As for heading outside, it is 7 degrees here right now and looks like rain. I will put a jacket on first!

I will take some tissues as well if the tears come. I will let them flow because they are healing and cleansing.

TA, I have those sharks under control, the stingers are still sleeping, so what do you say, lets swim for the shore.

Cheers to you from Mrs. D

[Guest_1055]

Good Morning Mrs D and TA,

I was thinking of both of you, so thought I would pop in and say hello is all.

Shell xx

[Guest_1055]

Hi Mrs D,

Are you okay?

I am sorry you are struggling too TA.

I am not sure what else to say except that....

Shell xx

[Guest_1055]

Just letting you know I am thinking of you Mrs D.

Shell xx