BPD

[GuestYD]

Hi all

i have BPD. I have been to the emergency department multiple times due to suicidal thinking when 2 hours before I was happy. I can go from excited to depressed in an instant.

i used to self harm but I've stopped that. I am fixated by the idea of suicide even though I've got no intent. I can be impulsive.

I idealise certain people in my life, including my mental health team.

I fear that my Dr will abandon me.

i experienced brief psychosis when I was stressed and the object wasn't really there

[GuestYD]

Hi James

I'm feeling better thanks. I find if I'm feeling overwhelmed it is intense while it lasts, but it then goes away.

I am a bit nervous I think. I have also been chatting to her too long without meeting her, so I think I've kind of moved on in my mind. I kind of feel like I am not ready for dating and want to back away from it too. I just don't know what to say to the person.

LC

[james1]

Yeah me too. Usually if I can sleep (unlikely) or just play on the computer, I'll be not great, but not terrible.

Mhmm, it's a bit awkward eh 😕 Could you just tell her you're not ready? I mean, the other thing might be simply to meet up and see what happens. I guess we don't know, but it could just be your defence mechanism kicking in rather than actually not having anything to say. So I guess it's like challenging yourself, but only you can tell if you're challenging yourself too much or not enough I guess. Did your psych have anything to say before?

James

[Guest_5809]

Hello

i am struggling with my recent diagnosis of bpd and mdd. I was in psych ward for 3 Weeks and have come out feeling not much different. Still no hope at all for a future. And very confused. Diagnosed and what now? Can you have successful relationships with bpd? How does it affect my kids? Have I screwed their whole world up by my erratic behaviour? Feeling disillusioned hopeless and tired.

[GuestYD]

Hi James

I found a way to postpone things and so if I don't meet up with her it's ok now I won't feel guilty. i sort of didn't want to keep it hanging!

Yeah I'm freaking out a bit about the thing I can't disclose on here. I know that sounds very mysterious. I want to share it, but I can't. I have fallen into some old habits and ways of thinking, but I'm trying to keep things together. A date would be the last thing I need right now. My psychologist basically said meet up with people with a view just to get to know them and maybe not 'date' as such and my psychiatrist was like no, don't do that. It kind of has put me off a bit as well. I know you don't have to agree with your treating team, but I feel that is maybe a sign to focus on things like friendships at the moment first. Coming to grips with sexuality and dating is a bit hard when you haven't got the basics worked out!

LC

[GuestYD]

Hi Dottibluebell

It is always a bit tough when you get home from hospital.

BPD is a complex diagnosis but certainly one that can be managed and there are programs out there which do minimise symptoms with psychological support. You can definitely have relationships with BPD but you sort have to watch out for things like idealisation and emotional reactivity which can harm relationships.

The programs include dialectical behavioural therapy which teaches skills such as mindfulness, emotional regulation, distress tolerance and interpersonal effectiveness. The modules target various BPD traits and help minimise the degree it impacts on your life.

The other option is schema therapy which can be delivered in a group or individual setting. This also targets coping patterns and behaviours and is helpful for BPD.

Hope that helps

LC

[Guest_5809]

Thank you for all that information. I have 2 kids and felt like I had to be ok to come home from hospital cause they needed me. I feel like I still need to be there.

[GuestYD]

Hi Dottibluebell

It sounds like you are having a tough time. I don't have children, but I can imagine it would be really hard to be away from them.

If you feel like you need to be in hospital, I recommend you ring intake and see if there is a bed. It will keep you safe and may help you feel better. It might be worth ringing Lifeline or Beyondblue for some advice too.

Hope that helps.

LC

[james1]

Hey LC, ah that's confusing that your two doctors are saying different things. And yeah, maybe friendships first. I'm really put off dating again. It's so hard and disheartening to try and find people who are similar to me and I'm noticing just how much I change and mould myself. But I also don't feel like I want more friends - I just want one really super good friend. Blah. I'm a bit stuck. It's like I need to put an ad out there to say, I'm looking for a best friend - dating optional or down the line. But no one responds to those, haha.

I hope you're doing okay to start this week off.

Hey dottiebluebell,

Ah that's pretty tough with the additional responsibility of your kids. Is anyone else able to help take a bit of the load for you? I mean, if you want to take care of your kids you also need to take care of yourself first!

James

[Guest_5809]

Thanks for your suggestions. How do you take care of your own depression when your kids have issues. What comes first the chicken or the egg. I can't keep trying to do it all but who's wellbeing do I sacrifice. I am so lost.

[james1]

I don't mean to be blunt, but if you're not coping, it will be very hard to help your children as well. I'm not sure what issues they're struggling with, but the ideal situation is if someone else can help them out while you also work on your own difficulties. Of course, if they have no one else, then that can be a bit tricky.

Do you have a psychologist or other mental health professionals helping you out at the moment? If so, have you raised this worry with them?

James