Battling the booze

[Kazzl]

When the black dog bites, many of us reach for a drink. It can ease the pain, help us relax, block out what's going on in our minds. If it's just the odd drink now and then, even one or two a night, there's no harm and maybe even welcome relief. But for some of us, many in fact, literally drowning our sorrows becomes a problem in itself. We drink more and more until the booze takes over, and drinking becomes all we want to do. 

That was me for a long time until I finally realised the combination of booze and depression would kill me. If I wanted to live, if I wanted to be able to manage my depression, I had to get sober. I did, nearly five years ago, and it's the hardest thing I've ever done.

If booze is controlling you and you're not controlling it, this thread is for you. If you want to regain control - get sober or moderate your drinking (which for many is harder than quitting) or if you're worried you are drinking too much, join us here.

On this thread I'll talk about my battle with the booze and offer advice and support to anyone who is struggling. I welcome anyone who's been there or is worried they are going there, to join in. And I hope others now living sober will come here to help our friends who are struggling.

One thing this thread is not is a place to discuss how much a drink or two helps you. It's not an anti-alcohol thread, but it's not a general discussion about alcohol either. It's for people who are genuinely worried about it or who want to control it, and it's a place of celebration (without judgment about drinkers) for those of us who are now living sober.

I hope anyone who's battling the booze will join us.

Cheers 😀

Kaz 

[bonnylass]

Thank you for this post as I lie here in my bed feeling lost and alone you have helped me make a decision to cut down on my drinking am I a alcoholic I don't know I drink every day three big glasses of wine after work I live alone it's a routine that I have done for years I don't drink through the day but I know I use wine as a crutch and I drink too much like I eat too much my self esteem is around my ankles I feel fat useless weak pathetic that's enough from me but thank you for showing me the light xxx

[Kazzl]

Hi bonnylass, how lovely to meet you! You know, the question of whether we're alcoholics or not is unimportant - everyone defines the term differently and I say people should only use it if it's helpful to them. I haven't had a drink in five years but I still say I'm a recovering alcoholic because it helps remind me of where I never ever want to go back to.

The main point is you feel alcohol is playing too big a role in your daily routine and you want to change that. It is so excellent that you realise that before it gets to a level where it might take over your life. To catch it now, before it does real damage is so very wise. I wish I'd had your wisdom when I was younger.

So, well done hun. Please keep talking here if you want, and if you have any questions or need some company, we're here!

Kaz

[Gruffudd]

Hi Kazz,

I rather appreciate your kind words and strategies in this thread.

I stopped drinking about 10 years back. Primarily it was because I noticed that in the days and weeks after I tended to take a slide on the mental health, but also because of the health aspects of a binge on the stuff. I have no Idea where I could have ended up going down that track, just that I don't regret making the change when I think about that time.

I think it helps to support me to make sure it is comfortable to have alternatives that are not alcohol when out. At home I've repurposed the old crystal glasses which are fantastic for mineral water, orange juice, and coca-cola. I do that for me to be honest, it's like the fine bone china with tea, I like it.

I do wish everyone discussing this here all the best.

Rob.

[sinking_mama]

Hi all.

I thought id move here. After all I have spent a lot of time reading and re reading the posts here. I have found them very helpful. Hearing others stories has been very encouraging.

Im on day 3 now. I ended up going to bed at about 7.30 last night. My little mans bed time.

Ive got a big day today, but all i want to do is go back to bed.

[Kazzl]

Hiya mama - welcome to the thread hun! I'm really pleased to see you here. You are doing really well. Today and the next couple of days will be hard, and you'll need all your strength and resistance. But you can do it! Within a few days, as the worst of the withdrawals pass, you will start waking up with a clear head and realising how great it is to not have a hangover, to not feel ill or ashamed, and to actually remember what you did last night (oh how I love that!)

I'm at work, so mustn't stay here - but I'll check in tonight. Take care during your big day today - don't fall into the trap of buying a bottle to reward yourself with 'just one' for getting through the day. (There's no 'just one', we know that). Buy a cake instead. 🙂 I'll be thinking of you.

Kaz

[Kazzl]

Hi mama if you're looking in. Just wondering how you're going. I know weekends can be tough, so I'm sending you good wishes and strength. xx

[Music_Freak]

I don't have a drinking problem, I've only been hungover twice in my life, so I can't really relate to what any of you are going through, but I just wanted to say how awesome you all are for facing your demons - I wish you all the best of luck 🙂

[Kazzl]

Hey thanks Music, that's really kind of you! 😊

Best wishes to you and thanks for being a great contributor on the forum.

Kaz

[Rhes]

Hi,I'm so glad I found this forum, I've been reading it for a few days now, at all hours, and I'm so impressed and moved to tears at the kindness you all show to people who come on for the first time. And, of course, the support. And so many things, situations relating to shame, embarrassment and anger brought on by alcohol, I relate to so deeply.I'm a 44 year old woman, no partner or kids, no doubt from being an alcoholic for the majority of my adult life. I'm ready to go into counselling, take medication, whatever is going to help, I'll do it. I'm very scared because I have conditional family support. They want to see me stop drinking (they're wealthy, successful, pillars of the community etc. They're embarrassed by me). I've been drinking since I was 12 to numb the pain I've felt growing up in a judgemental environment. I can't dwell on the past anymore as it makes me angry and I drink. I know I have to find my own support.And it can be too much for friends if they've never been through it. Hence I'm so glad at the relief I felt while reading all of your posts. You really are special and brave people and your discussions about how you're overcoming alcoholism gives me so much hope. People don't mean to be judgemental, I know. It hurts though and I drink to block it out. It's an endless cycle. Being in a no judgement zone here is very special indeed. Thank you for reading my story.

[Kazzl]

Hi Rhes - a very very big welcome to you hun. Thank you for such kind words, I'm so glad you have taken some hope from us.

You are making a tough decision, but one you will never regret (promise!). I really understand the drinking to block stuff out and numb the pain. That short-term oblivion is very seductive. But I've realised since I got sober that the oblivion doesn't really bring relief or resolution, it just compounds our problems because we leave it so long to face them, they just get worse.

And y'know, there's so much more out there to experience, enjoy, learn from, do etc when you're sober! It is so good to hear you say you can't dwell on the past anymore. A tough thing to control, but absolutely necessary - look ahead Rhes, keep looking ahead, eyes on the prize!

It's going to be hard hun, but you can do it. And we'll be here, all the way.

If there's anything you'd like to ask please feel free and come here anytime for a chat.

Very best wishes and much strength to you

Kaz