Battling the booze

[Kazzl]

When the black dog bites, many of us reach for a drink. It can ease the pain, help us relax, block out what's going on in our minds. If it's just the odd drink now and then, even one or two a night, there's no harm and maybe even welcome relief. But for some of us, many in fact, literally drowning our sorrows becomes a problem in itself. We drink more and more until the booze takes over, and drinking becomes all we want to do. 

That was me for a long time until I finally realised the combination of booze and depression would kill me. If I wanted to live, if I wanted to be able to manage my depression, I had to get sober. I did, nearly five years ago, and it's the hardest thing I've ever done.

If booze is controlling you and you're not controlling it, this thread is for you. If you want to regain control - get sober or moderate your drinking (which for many is harder than quitting) or if you're worried you are drinking too much, join us here.

On this thread I'll talk about my battle with the booze and offer advice and support to anyone who is struggling. I welcome anyone who's been there or is worried they are going there, to join in. And I hope others now living sober will come here to help our friends who are struggling.

One thing this thread is not is a place to discuss how much a drink or two helps you. It's not an anti-alcohol thread, but it's not a general discussion about alcohol either. It's for people who are genuinely worried about it or who want to control it, and it's a place of celebration (without judgment about drinkers) for those of us who are now living sober.

I hope anyone who's battling the booze will join us.

Cheers 😀

Kaz 

[geoff]

hi Miko, thanks for replying, it's always great to have feedback when you have posted a reply.
If you go to a psychologist or any other counsellor and want to talk about your alcohol problem, it's totally useless if this person has never drunk alcohol or only drinks on special occasions because they don't have any idea of what to talk about, what they do is talk about it from what the text book says, but the text book doesn't understand or know that circumstances change and everybody is completely different, it's no different than talking to them if they haven't experienced depression themselves, how do they know, again the text book won't give you the answer in chapter 12.
I used to drink fizzy drinks which has sugar in them, but what I needed was the carbon dioxide so I would drink a whole glass at once that filled up my stomach, I also loved tonic water because it had a different taste to it

[pipsy]

Hi Miko. Just another distraction to consider. Geoff has suggested fizzy drinks, for the sugar content, great thought. The only down side (apologies here, Geoff, no offense intended) if you can call it that is, sugar drinks can mean one drink leads to more for the sugar content. Tonic water, another goodie, perhaps add a slice of lemon for the refreshing side. Maybe you could also look at gentle exercise, a walk, or gardening. Something that would get you away from the house and also you would meet people. Walking groups are a big deal at the moment. You meet at a designated place and time and walk at your own pace for however long or short a time that suits you. With me my recovery meant I had to stop because I have a job which involves driving. Mixing with other recovering alcoholics can be beneficial, but also can cause more agro, because constantly discussing grog means the desire is still very much in your mind. Distraction is better than the constant reminder.

Lynda

[geoff]

hi Miko, yes Lynda is correct that one sugar drink does lead you onto another fizzy drink which may not be good for your health if too much sugar is detrimental for your well being, however for temporary purposes if it's going to help you stop the alcohol, it may help and then eventually when you feel as though you are strong enough then you can swap the sugary drinks with something else.
You have to use what ever technique you personally feel that will help you in your recovery. Geoff. x

[Miko123]

Thanks Lynda and Geoff,

i appreciate your wisdom. I'm doing ok. I've been sugar free for years and I understand the sugar thing. Re alcohol, I used it as medicine, I get that now. In recent days I've been alcohol free with no real worries. I do know how to get the better of this. I'm ok. Your support means a lot. Thanks 🙂

[pipsy]

hey Miko. Many congratulations for being alcohol free in recent times. Most of us have used alcohol to medicate. As I said earlier, the alcohol numbs the pain, sobering up means the pain returns etc. I'm pleased you are managing to overcome the need for the alcohol. Remember if you feel the need for the alcohol to numb, that's when you need the support we can offer. I still sometimes almost 'slip' however, knowing I have to face me in the morning, helps me stop. The longer I abstain, the easier it gets, but the knowledge I will always be an alcoholic is enough to keep me 'dry'. I have been dry for nearly 7 months, have a zero sugar coke with me to celebrate.

Lynda

[Miko123]

Thanks Lynda, I'll be sure to keep checking in, especially if I feel I am slipping. Drinking camomile right now and looking forward to bed 🙂

[Kazzl]

Hi Miko - I haven't checked in here for a while so haven't welcomed you on board yet. Welcome! Good to see you here. I hope you're going well and please don't hesitate to post if you're struggling or want some booze-free company.

Cheers

Kaz

[Kazzl]

And so this is Christmas ... and what have you done? Well, the great folks on this thread have done something huge - battled the booze and taken control. For some of us it's now second nature, for others a new and difficult road to follow, but you are on that road and that's a great achievement.

No matter where we are on the sober journey, Christmas is a tricky time. Family events, work events, neighbourhood gatherings ... there will be people thrusting booze at us from all directions. Even telling us that 'one won't hurt'. So, we need some strategies.

Here are my tips for avoiding the booze over Christmas, and I'd love to hear more from others:

Appoint yourself designated driver and offer people a lift. They won't question you if they can get something out of it.

Take your own favourite non-alcoholic drink to every party you go to, even if drinks are supplied.

Eat before you go out and keep eating while you're there. You are less likely to be tempted to drink if you feel really full. Eating sweet things, especially cake or something else substantial can help (you're more likely to want tea or coffee with a big helping of cake).

Having said that, avoid the booze-laden trifles or sweets. (I know, that's a real bugger. Love trifle I do, I make it without the booze). Even though a small rum ball or serving of trifle might not affect you, it might give you the taste for a drink. I even avoid boozy chocolates and sauces for that reason.

If you don't feel comfortable telling people you're not drinking, lie. Tell them you're on medication, tell them you're not feeling well, tell them you just don't feel like it, whatever.

Know that if people persist in trying to get you to drink it's usually because they want to feel less guilty themselves over getting plastered. Everyone who drinks with them reinforces (for them) that it's OK. You don't have to make them feel better!

If you want to give the appearance of having a drink to avoid questions, take alcohol-free champagne or such with you. But check the labels carefully before you buy - some that look alcohol-free are actually low alcohol.

If it gets too much, leave. If it's stressing you then you are not having fun, so what's the point of being there?

Years of practice have taught me it is entirely possible to join in a party without drinking. True.

Anyone else got some tips?

Cheers to all

Kaz

[5022]

Hi everyone and thankyou kazz for directing me here. I am gaining so much useful advice and inspiration from the stories i have read so far and have devised a plan of strategies to cope should my children not be with me ( as promised by my ex) . i would like to share my thoughts snd hopefully help someone else in the process.

First off all i will read my self destruvtion post to remind myself of how my situstion is as it is, and hopefully avoid the bottle at all costs. Then i will read others stories and hopefully be of some comfort.

Secondly i plan to spend the day arranging the kids Santa presents under the tree, my youngest still believes, and to put together the basketball system which would otherwise be in the box for my son to unwrap and put together over the day, if kids were here. This way i am doing something for them even though they are not here.

Thirdly will be there to support a friend who is dreading xmas with her family.

Then after that I will probably head to the beach for a walk.

If all goes wrong, i will manage if I follow these strategies And christmas wont be a meltdown for me.

I hope everyone finds peace this christmas. X and hugs.

[Kazzl]

Hi 5022, welcome! It's good to see you here. I like your strategies, and you sound nice and positive. Stick to these hun and you might find that not only do you avoid a meltdown, you might actually enjoy the day.

Good stuff!

Kaz