Battling the booze

[Kazzl]

When the black dog bites, many of us reach for a drink. It can ease the pain, help us relax, block out what's going on in our minds. If it's just the odd drink now and then, even one or two a night, there's no harm and maybe even welcome relief. But for some of us, many in fact, literally drowning our sorrows becomes a problem in itself. We drink more and more until the booze takes over, and drinking becomes all we want to do. 

That was me for a long time until I finally realised the combination of booze and depression would kill me. If I wanted to live, if I wanted to be able to manage my depression, I had to get sober. I did, nearly five years ago, and it's the hardest thing I've ever done.

If booze is controlling you and you're not controlling it, this thread is for you. If you want to regain control - get sober or moderate your drinking (which for many is harder than quitting) or if you're worried you are drinking too much, join us here.

On this thread I'll talk about my battle with the booze and offer advice and support to anyone who is struggling. I welcome anyone who's been there or is worried they are going there, to join in. And I hope others now living sober will come here to help our friends who are struggling.

One thing this thread is not is a place to discuss how much a drink or two helps you. It's not an anti-alcohol thread, but it's not a general discussion about alcohol either. It's for people who are genuinely worried about it or who want to control it, and it's a place of celebration (without judgment about drinkers) for those of us who are now living sober.

I hope anyone who's battling the booze will join us.

Cheers 😀

Kaz 

[Kazzl]

Hiya Rhes - just wondering how you're going hun. Hope all is well.

Kaz

[Rhes]

Hi Kaz, thanks for checking in 😊 Was going to post something today. I've been going well, better than I expected, have totally stayed off booze these last 2 weeks 👍 Life's been pretty uneventful which is good as I've been battling a few anger/frustration issues from my past, in my head, probably due to a clear head! I seem to have worked through them as they're not on my mind as much. I went out for tea last nite with my flatmate and her friends and wasn't bothered by the drinking I wasn't doing with them. I must say, my tolerance of people has gone down quite a lot, I can't handle convos so much, alcohol would make every convo seem interesting, you know? I'm prepared for my social life to take a hit from this and I've lived a pretty wild life so far, so have hardly missed out! It's just another thing popping up on the windscreen to be dealt with I guess. I feel heaps stronger in myself and am more concerned about that than being hilariously great company (up til the point where I'd get depressive and bring everyone down anyway). So yeah, I guess I'm going through the process of learning to be happy in myself, or something? 😊

[Kazzl]

Hiya Rhes - so glad to hear you're going well hun. It's funny, when we stop drinking it's like we have to reacquaint ourselves with ourselves; get to know ourselves again. It's an interesting process. I learned a lot of things I didn't want to know - the things I was hiding from through drinking I guess - and many things that now make sense since I've been diagnosed with bipolar. But the important thing is you lose the guilt, the shame and the fear that goes with drinking. Being free from that is gold, and worth every struggle, every new thing I have to face. I wouldn't trade sobriety for anything these days.

Working out a new way to be in social situations isn't easy (and yes, I lost a lot of tolerance of people too, especially when they were drunk). It is possible though to have a happy and active social life without the booze - and the great thing is you remember it the next day. 😃

Good on you hun, you are doing so well.

Kaz

[Danny_boy]

Hi Kaz

I am currently working towards being sober. I was doing well (day 10) until i had a drink. In my view anyone who has issues with alcohol should not try to moderate. I have finally realized I am pretty powerless to moderate.I have to say that I agree with you that giving up drinking is a bloody hard journey. I have a long road a head of me but I am all ready making steady progress.

[Rhes]

Thank you Kaz! Hope you're well. I do understand what you mean, I wouldn't trade this new feeling for anything right now. its so good to feel in control again 👍I'll go looking for more social life when I'm a bit stronger I think 😊

[Rhes]

Hi Danny Boy, nice to meet you and congratulations on 10 days. I know what you mean, moderating has never worked for me either. This forum sure has though. Hope you're well 😊

[Kazzl]

Hi Danny boy! Welcome, welcome, welcome. As Rhes said, congratulations on your 10 days, that's a top effort when you're just starting this sober journey. If you have a read through this thread you'll see we've talked before about gaining 'sober miles', and that's what you have done mate. No-one can take them away; you've had 10 days of knowing that being sober is possible, and that it's good. Hard, yes, really, really hard - but good. And now you've been through the really tough time once, you know what to expect and if you're determined, you can learn from that and have another go.

Moderation isn't my style either. Learnt that one the hard way. I'm an all or nothing kinda gal. Some people can cut back on the booze and manage it in moderation, but I think for a lot of us, once the 'off switch' is broken it stays that way.

You do have a long road ahead Danny, but you have already made progress and we are here to walk along with you. Stick with us, and have faith in yourself.

Kaz

[Freddo99]

Hi - is this thread still active - doesn't seem to have been any posts for a while. If it is, and ideas on dealing with hangover depression welcome 🙂 I definitely won't do it again (that's probably the three thousandth time I've said that) 😉

[Moonstruck]

Hi Freddo....thought I'd better send y0u a reply to let you know some of us ex-boozers are still around to talk to you. Hangover depression? No I don't know what to do about that one....except don't drink so much that you feel so bad afterwards. Don't know if you want to cut grog out....or just down. I had to cut out for medical reasons, so haven't had a drink for over 3 years...hence, no hangovers! I guess you have to ask yourself when you have a hangover depression...."was it worth it?".. As you said you are now an expert at it, having said that 3,000 times. What has your answer been ? that's the interesting part.......stay well.

[Rhes]

Hi Freddo and Moon, thought I'd better contribute also. I love this thread, you all literally changed my life!

Freddo I've had to quit completely (1 month sober) and what I found useful was reading about what a hangover is and how it affects the brain. In a nutshell, it seems that we are depleted of our happy chemicals afterwards, hence the depression. There is no way to put them back in, besides taking something synthetic I guess, (hmm booze and pills...a hot mess/recipe for disaster!)

My main reason for quitting booze was because of the depression I experienced while hungover. I'm in my 40s now and it was getting worse not better with age. As Moon said, it's more about you and how you're coping with it. This is certainly a great, supportive place if you need help with cutting back or stopping completely 🙂