Are we kidding ourselves that things really can get better

[Guest_5809]

I have been in this vicious cycle for so long now and nothing gets better. I am battle fatigued. Truely just numb. Single parent to 2 teens with mental health issues and a narcissistic ex ( kids father). I have experienced my ex attempt suicide, my youngest who was 10 yo at the time attempt suicide and my now 14yo attempt suicide 4 times. I live an emotional roller coaster that I vant keep up wth unless I self medicate. I have 2 inpatient admissions in 7 months cause I just can't see any light left. We exist not live. I am totally lost. We have support services in place but nothing changes . I don't know how other people seem to cope and I can't. I don't know what's wrong with my brain. I feel damaged and broken. I don't want pity and I know there are lots doing it harder than I am. I want to know how to survive this or is it possible t survive ths? And please don't advise me to self care. I truely have little or know time to myself to address my own needs as my chidrens needs are high plus I work to pay bills. Sorry to sound grumpy and selfish. I am just lost and feeling hopeless.

Thanks for taking the time to read.

[startingnew]

sending some comforting hugs you way Dotti

xoxoxox

[Guest_5809]

Thank you. I just don't know how to get myself going or if I have gone to low. I just want to be away from the world

[Croix]

Dear Dotti~

No words, just sending you kind thoughts for a while

Croix

[startingnew]

Can u make up your own happy place in your mind..?

[Guest_5809]

Thank you. Means more than you know.

[Guest_5809]

Nope being in bed away from the world.

[startingnew]

thats the point Dotti

to get away from the world

you create your own 'safe' place in your own mind

whether it be imagining your reading a book in a library, sitting near a waterfall and watching the water flow.

it can be anything that interest you and because its your place you dont have to share it not with your kids, not anyone. its like having your own key to another world and only you can enter unless you choose to have someone else i your mind their with you

[Guest_5809]

My place is my dark hole. Just can't bear thinking it's tiring.

[startingnew]

Hugs Dotti

Iknow its hard

❤❤❤

[Guest_5809]

Here to face another day *sigh*